My daughter's biological father has taken my daughter from me and i can't get her back,need help

Francis - posted on 12/08/2009 ( 53 moms have responded )

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my daughters biological father and his parents have take my daughter from me they were watching her the other day for me and they took off with her and when i tried to retrieve her i was told by law enforcement that i couldn't retrieve her and after i went and got her birthcertificate i was told i still couldn't get her back that i had to go through the court system. this man has already threatened to kill my daugher which is why i was trying to leave, i don't even know where my daughter is or if she is okay, and they wont let me see her is their anyone out their that can help me or knows what i can do. I have also been to OCS and gotten no where very worried about my childs safety please help

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Lisa - posted on 12/09/2009

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Well, here goes nothing. I have been in and out of the court system for the last 7 1/2 years, with my ex-husband. The first thing you need to know is if you live in the State of Florida (I'm assuming OCS is Orange County Sheriff), Law Enforcement will not intervene period, even if you have a court order!. You need to immediately file for divorce and custody, if you are married. You need to request an Order of Protection from the clerk of court or sheriff's dept. You then need to file a Motion for Temporary Relief, so you can be heard in front of a judge within the next 30 days or so. You should be able to go to the clerk of court website and print out these forms for free. Filing them however will cost you. However, if you go to the clerk of court you can ask them for an application to determine if you qualify for Indigent Status. This will allow them to waive your fees, if you qualify. I would also immediately notify DCF of your concerns. They can not dismiss your concerns if he has threatened her life. And if they don't do anything, I would tell them that you are taking your story to the press and then they can explain why they are refusing to do anything. I hope this helps you. Good Luck!

Tanya - posted on 12/09/2009

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okay I went through a situation alot like this. I was married to him though. I left him and he told me that he didn't want anything to do with my daughter if we weren't together and threw things at me and and slit his wrists in front of my then 10 month old & took a bunch of sleeping pills. One night after we split up and everything, he was all apologetic and said he wanted to see his daughter and be in her life and yada yada and told me he wanted to spend some time with her because he said he missed her. He said for me to come get her at 8 o'clock. Well, when i got there he was no were to be found and his rickety old truck was gone, it was the 20th of December and cold outside, he had no heater in the truck, no backseat, no license. SO I started searching. He was nowhere to be found. I called the police, went up to the station they told me since he was on the birth certificate, he could take her and I couldn't do anything about it..even after I told them all that happened and how she was in a truck like that with an unlicensed driver and everything. They were like.. sorry. Well, my ex-stepmother is a paralegal so I called her to see what I could do and she told me file for divorce. IF your married do that first. Then I had to sign a supporting affidavit stating all the danger that my child was in and all the things her had done and said (in your case that he threatened her life and kidnapped her). Then I had to file a temporary restraining order, writ of Attachment & Possession order (which means as soon as they find the man, they take your daughter and give her back to you) and then they set a hearing for the temporary orders. If you are not married they would set a date for a custody hearing. After I did all this they put out an APB on his truck and were going to pull him over an arrest him for his warrants and give me my daughter back. But I happened to find him ..and then my lawyer served him with his papers and I got my daughter back 2 days after Christmas. I got sole custody of her. And he ran off to another state & hasn't paid child support or seen her since. You'll need to round up about 1100 bucks to file these papers but as soon as he is found you won't have to go through a fight they will just take your daughter and release her to you.

Tonya - posted on 07/26/2011

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File an ex-parte order against him in the courts and state why. You will need one for you and your child. If they won't help you then go to the news media and make it public but do not stop until you get your child back and in the mean time I will be praying for you. Also go to your pastor of your church for help too. Good luck and God bless.

Andrea - posted on 07/14/2011

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DOLL YOU NEED TO LAY A CHARGE OF ABDUCTION SAY HE ABDUCTED YOUR CHILD AND STATE THE EVENTS OF THE DAY THATS YOUR BEST CHANCE MY DADS A COP AND THATS HIS ADVICE TO WHEN YOU OPEN THE CASE OF ABDUCTION HAVE A COPY OF HER BIRTH SERTIFICATE AND THE COPS SHOULD HELP YOU GET HER BACK OTHER WISE OPEN THE CASE AND GO SEE A LAWYER NO COURT WILL LET A MAN TAKE A BABY AWAY FROM ITS MOTHER!

Allison - posted on 07/12/2011

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you need to get the funds for a great lawyer so far he hasn't done anything illegal unless you had a previous custody/visitation arrangment that was legally binding (that depends on your state) in my state fathers naturally have every right the mother has whether or not hes on the certificate, he just has to prove hes the father first. keep trying to see her. and you can get and injunction to keep the family from moving away. The cops can't help you until a judge gives you custody or an order demanding they return her, if they wont go from city to county to state one or all three should help if a judge says they have to or it maybe that Department of Human Services has to help you get your daughter back still someone has to help. even. You can mention the threat but understand in America if there was a threat to the child if you can't prove it, it doesn't matter. it hardly matters anyway saying i'll kill her is not illegal. it will put up a red flag but its not an actionable offense

I'm just telling you what i just learned in my law class last week oh if the cops/ DHS don't help after the judge gives you that order or injunction or what have you, you have a great lawsuit against them

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Bev - posted on 07/16/2011

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the problem is you couldn't be too worried about her safety if you left her with him/them...that is the legal position...and if there is no custody order, then he legally has as much right to the child as you do unfortunately...he now has physical possession as well - the only thing you can do is get a lawyer and go through the courts....you have an uphill battle I am sorry to say...

Allison - posted on 07/14/2011

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yes but right now unless she has paper work saying otherwise or her state has a statute saying she instantly has all custodial rights its not an abuduction case. its a custody dispute according to most states.

Jessi - posted on 07/10/2011

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they cant keep her from u. U tell the cops that the law: parental kidnapping prevention act was made to allow parents rights! the cop legally cant keep u from it. and if they do get their name and sue their ass!

Janet - posted on 07/10/2011

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I really feel for you, my ex kept my eldest daughter after a contact weekend and I haven't seen her since Easter, I got a court order for her return but he didn't comply I am doing everything I can to get her back. Good luck and don't give up hope x

Janet - posted on 07/10/2011

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I really feel for you, my ex kept my eldest daughter after a contact weekend and I haven't seen her since Easter, I got a court order for her return but he didn't comply I am doing everything I can to get her back. Good luck and don't give up hope x

Esteth - posted on 03/28/2011

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its been two years since u posted this and was wondering and hoping ur daughter is fine and did u get sole custody i hope everything is alright

Leeann - posted on 03/28/2011

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Get a lawyer go down to the courts and file for emergency custody tell them about what you told us. they should go ahead and give you sole custody...that is if you dont already have that. then you go down to the police station tell them again what he has done. and show them the order. another thing you can do after doing that is going to the National Center For Missing Children. they should help. once you have all this set up get on the air. radio tv anything that will get you out there and your daughters name and picture. i'm praying for you and i hope that you get your daughter back.

Michelle - posted on 01/17/2010

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I would definitely tell the police that he's threatened your daughter before and that you were trying to leave him. It's best to be as open as possible with the police in these situations so that they can help you. If they still won't, for some reason, get a lawyer and call social services and anyone you can think of that can help you.
I'll be praying for you and for your daughter. Good luck.

Jessica - posted on 01/17/2010

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a friend of mine went through this and as ridiculous as it is, the only thing you can do is get a lawyer, wait for the court date, and prey. i wish you the best of luck and my heart aches for you...

Tanya - posted on 01/17/2010

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Unfortunately unless you have been granted sole custody by the family court he has just as much legal right to have her in his custody as you do. You MUST obtain sole custody by the court for the police to be able to help in any way. This does take some time but the sooner you start the proceedings the faster you can have her returned to you. You can have an emergency hearing called but it all has to be done through the courts.

Crystal - posted on 01/15/2010

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Go to a different police station and say an ex-BOYFRIEND took her. say you dont know who her father is and they will have to look. It would have to turn into a missing child report. Good Luck. I really hope to hear when everything is ok.

Alicia - posted on 01/12/2010

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omg i have no idea of what u r going through, we will keep u and ur daughter n our prayers and i hope that u get ur baby girl back soon, and her daddy gets his sorry ass thrown in jail.

Jacki - posted on 01/12/2010

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Does he have any kind of custody? Law enforcement can't do much of anything unless he is EXPLICITLY violating a custody agreement. Otherwise, yeah it has to be delicately handled through the court system; Get the best lawyer you can.. money can be paid back. Hopefully this has been worked out for you bynow, otherwise I've been going through similar stuff for the past two years so if you need any advice msg me.

Lisa - posted on 01/12/2010

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Wondering what happened now that I've read nearly each post on here... Do you have her? Is she safe now?

Wulan - posted on 12/13/2009

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I was randomly reading this note, and I felt so sorry for you and for you daughter. I can't do much, but I do believe in prayer and miracles. Believe that God sees every single thing on earth, and He surely see your heart and what you've been going thru. I'm keeping you and your daughter in my prayer. Don't give up and discourage. He's the one who gave you a child and He will sure taking care and keeping an eye on ur daughter and bring her back to you someway somehow. :)

Tanya - posted on 12/12/2009

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i dont know how the law works in other countries but here in Australia if a bio parent takes the child there is nothing the other bio parent can do unless they go through the family courts and fight for the child. That there can cost anywhere from $25,000 and take up to 2 or 3 years :(

How ever i've already planned in my head that if my daughter's bio father ever did this i would rally my partner, his friends, all my brothers and there friends and just walk right into my ex's house and take my daughter back!

I'm really sorry to hear what you are going threw, it's been my worst nightmare since i left my daughter's father. He was a violent junkie and threatened many things upon us as well like killing his own daughter. But once he got passed the break up things got better.

I really hope u get ur child back soon what a horrible thing to be going threw so close to xmas :( :( :( my heart, my thoughts and best wishes are with u! Keep us up dated please!

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Do he have legal custody of your child? Why arent you allowed to see your child? How if you showed the law the birth certificate how and why and why not is the court helping you....

Heidi - posted on 12/12/2009

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go to the media too...get your story out there...time is of the essence!!! Also make sure to file for divorce and get an order of protection...file kidnapping charges and contact the amber alert system. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Be vigilant and continue to tell your story to everyone who will listen...ask to speak to supervisors and supervisors of supervisors until something is done to keep your daughter safe. you must be worried sick and going out of your mind. Remember you are not alone through this and that your friends family and community can be vital in helping you through this process. I will keep you in my prayers...please let us know what happens in you situation and if she is ok.

[deleted account]

I don't know about laws in your state, but I know in other states you can get a Order of Protection for any threats or physical harm he has caused you or your child. You will have an initial hearing for the order on the day you apply for it and tell them what happened with him taking your daughter...you can request her as part of the order of protection so that he can't come near her also until the matter is resolved. I have heard the aspect that whomever has the child in their physical custody is at better odds for getting legal custody...but that isn't necessarily the case if you can show there was violence and threats. A lot of states have a courthouse facilitator who is either free or low cost ($20 in the county that I used to live in) for people who are representing themselves...that person cannot represent you, but can make sure you have the correct paperwork and that it is filled out correctly. I know that when I got a order of protection for my daughter (she was 8 and came home with bruises and welts from a visit with her biological father who had just shown back up in her life) there was also a separate domestic violence division in the court office that helped look out for the needs of people in those situations. Good luck.

Marc_christina - posted on 12/11/2009

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First off let me start off by saying I feel your pain. My name is Marc and I went through the exact same thing with my first borns mother. Unfortunately what I am about to tell you is not the best news. The way the laws are set up really do not protect the children, you see the courts require that you establish paternity, meaning one or both of the parents need to go to the court house and establish paternal rights. I know this sounds strange given the fact that you carried this child in your belly for 9 mos, but thats the way the courts rule it. I can tell you that the first person to file is usually the luckier one. In my case it has been 10 yrs since I have seen my daughter. I was the unlucky one. So I encourage you to please visit your local court house right away... dont let my story be yours.Please please please go right away and establish paternity, doing that will get you faster results,until then you both have the ability to take the child wherever you want and it will not be considered kidnapping...hence the importance of paternity. I hope this was helpful to you for I feel it is truly your only option.

Veronica - posted on 12/11/2009

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GET A LAWYER!!! I dont know where you live but I have medicad and public ass. and both under my duaghters name and i have custody of her because of that. I am the legal parent if you have something like that then he cant just up and take her. Your supporting her ya know. I would talk to the chief of police and go get a lawyer right away. he cant just kidnap her like that, you are her mother.

Corrie - posted on 12/11/2009

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My mother went through a similar situation when my youngest brother was three. She was told be the authorities that because he is the biological father it was child stealing and not kidnapping. The only thing I can recommend is to get a lawyer and document EVERYTHING. Any phone conversations you have with him. Any contact at all. Be persistent with Child Services and the Police. If you have any kind of paperwork stating that the child lives with you, take it to the authorities. If anyone else heard the threats against your child have them write up a statement to that fact. The more documentation the better your chances of getting her back. Hang in there.

Adella - posted on 12/11/2009

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Do you have custody? if so, file charges and he'll got straight to jail and you'll get her back...if not file for custody then do it...as long as niether one of you have custody he can do whatever he wants when it comes to taking her and whatever...my sons' biological fater did the SAME EXACT thing and this is what the police and the lawyers all told me so i will pass the info. on down to you. good luck...i got all 3 of mine now and he has NO visitation or custody WHAT SO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! and if he comes to take them i can call the cops and he will go straight to prison from child abduction and kidnapping....just make sure you keep a copy of the custody order near you at ALL times...again...good luck!!

DEE "BURR" - posted on 12/11/2009

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WHY WOULD YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO TAKE HER TO HIM TO BEGIN WITH,IF HE ALREADY MADE TREATS TO HURT HER, I WOULD NEVER ALLOW MY BABIES TO GO WITH ANYONE,LET ALONE IF THEY WERE PREVIOUS THREATEND... BUT, I DO KNOW AS A MOM, YOU MUST BE HEARTBROKEN, AND VERY SCARED.I WOULD TRACK HIM DOWN, FIND ANYONE WHO MAY KNOW HIM, WAIT IT OUT WHEN I DID FIND HIM, GO IN AND SNEAK HER OUT AN RUN, AND MOVE FAR AWAY, GO TO COURT FILL A INJUCTION ON HIM SO HE CANT GET HER BACK,

Jessica - posted on 12/11/2009

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Sorry to Hear... if there is no custody order in place then its not considered kidnapping, he has just as much right to the child as you do. Thats what i have been told by the courts. the best thing is to get a lawyer and file and emergency petition for custody. each state is different so make sure you follow all guidelines and good lcuk!

Shayla L. - posted on 12/10/2009

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What city and state do you live in? Every state has different laws and all police officers are not correct on matters of the law. I have just won a custody battle waged accross two different states and won without an attorney when the other party had one. Do not give up yet. You are a mother. Fight. Just post the location information and that will help me answer you. Until then what about a private investigator... they can help more than you know.

Ashley - posted on 12/10/2009

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I couldn't imagine being in a situation like this. I would go to great ends to get my child back! I would look into hiring a lawyer, sounds like this will get nasty...one question...why would you let her father keep her after he has threatened to hurt and/or kill her?! Just curious! Well good luck! I hope you get her back and she is safe & sound!

Karen - posted on 12/10/2009

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I just want to say don't lose hope. Your story should strike a cord with anyone who has a child. You've probably already done the lawyer thing and cops try the media with someone like Dr. Phil maybe.

Carrie - posted on 12/10/2009

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This is awful and i really hope you get your daughter back asap and safe, what a horrible man, he has no rights just bacause it was his sperm, he is not on the birth certificate a dna test should not be enough to allow a man to kidnap a child!! i cannot believe that no one is helping you and all think it is ok for him to kidnap her and his awful parents too,i am so sorry for your situation and really hope it does get sorted and as soon as it does you need to go to the highestperson you can with a huge complint as this is not acceptable behaviour on any of their parts especially the people who are supposed to be there to help. Don't giveup keep going on and on until you get her back, is there no one you know that can help you get her then when you have her back get custody sorted and i think move away from that place
Good luckxx

Edith - posted on 12/09/2009

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wow that's horrible sry 2 hear this. but u need 2 go 2 the police station make a kidnapping charge on the father n who ever helped him. then go 2 the courts w/ the report n file 4 full custody. but u need a lawyer ASAP! the lawyer can do all the proper filing 2 the courts. again sry i wish u the best n keep u in my prayers.

Tammy - posted on 12/09/2009

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Look for a women's aid in crisis center in your area and go talk to them. They have attorneys that can help and even places to stay. My daughter went there when she was being abused by her husband. They got a restraining order in place and helped her get legal custody of thier son. Also, make the police make a report and give you a report number. They may not do much about it but by having it in place to take to court with you. File for legal custody right away before he does. In many states, father has as much rights as the mother and they can take the child the same as you can and file for legal custody before you can. They do not have to notify you but they do have to post it in a newspaper where you live but he can lie about what city so you will never know about the hearing.

Look online for other groups in your area that maybe able to help you and if you can afford it, get an attorney to help you. Good luck, my heart goes out to you.

Emilie - posted on 12/09/2009

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You should take out a restraining order, if he has ever threatened you or the child they will approve. My ex husbands brother just went through this. The kids mother was crazy, he went to a lawyer and explained the situation, and he was granted an emergency Restaining order and custody order.

Nikki - posted on 12/09/2009

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i am not sure where you live but in ky i have been told that a father cant just take the child unless the court gave him the right atherization so plaese i mean i live in kentucky and me and my dauthters father are together so please just talk to anyone that will listion maybe your friends will have someone that can help you i just dont understand why is there a costidy cattle going on right now or does the father think somethings going on i mean or is he just a jerk and takeing him cuz he wanted to ?

Brittany - posted on 12/09/2009

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what state do you live in? because we are in missouri. and my husbands name is not on the birth certificate which legally means he has no rights but the police would not get involved and the birth mother doesnt really care about the baby so she doesnt fight it. i truly hope you can find a way to get her back soon. maybe you can start calling lawyers and hopefully find one that can work with you and let you make payments (that is what our lawyer did) and you can get the papers filed before you have all the money. I wish you the best of luck. Please update everyone on how everything goes!

Suzanne - posted on 12/09/2009

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omg francis i'm so sorry to hear of this, you must be at yoour whits end hun, I don't know much about this but can only give u advice on what may help you. I would contact a lawyer, womans aid and also police and social services. contact all his family. contact the police and tell them you need a protection arrest order, they say a protection order from the police can keep them away from you but the don't the only way the can arrest him is if they have an restraining order to arrest you can apply for this throught the police, does your little one attend nursery or school i would also inform them that you need all the help you can get and if he has the little one and takes them to school you would like for you and you alone to pick her up, i would also if you know where she is ask the police to take you to his house too take her out as she is not safe and nr you. Honestly i wish you all the best hun and hope it all works out for you, please let me know the outcme of this good luck :P



oh i meant to say when was she born because if you check the law it doesn't matter if he is her biological father to have rights to her, i'm not sure what date it started that they had half the right if i'm not mistake it was only maybe about four years ago so check all your legal rights and check his out to, the police might be able to help you with this but i know a lawyer most deffo will

Francis - posted on 12/09/2009

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Apparently I live in the most retarted state in the world, because they are telling me that he has rights to her, when he is not even on her birth certificate. I am the only one on her birth certificate all he has to prove that he is her father is a DNA test and apparently that is enough. I haven't seen her or heard from her in going on 48 hours I am so worried about her and i want her home. Going up to the courthouse today to see if i can get the courts to grant me emergency sole custody papers for sarrah so that i can go and retrieve her once i find her. However i am broke so i can not afford a lawyers, so i am hopeing the courts will work, because legal aid said that they had a conflict of interest and wouldn't help me.

Helen - posted on 12/09/2009

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im so sorry huni how awful police an solicitors first an wen i never get the help i need i treatnen whom ever ie police that them refusing to help will make me spred this is local papers ect always works as police dont like bad pulbliciam xxxx

Sarah - posted on 12/09/2009

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OMG, i cant imagine what you are going through. I hope you get her back, and she is safe and sound. My heart goes out to you

Nikilah - posted on 12/09/2009

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my heart goes out to you and the best of luck to get her back safe and sound!!! i dont actually know what you do but just keep at the police and the court systems, they will have to get sick of seeing you and eventually help you, good luck!!!

Louise - posted on 12/09/2009

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My sons father snatched him from me in the street after i left him for being violent ..I went straight to a solicitor when this happened to me. I got a residency order and that meant my child could not be taken from me, or be taken out of the Country. As for the threats ( i had these too) I got an injunction against the father!! It took a couple of days but i got my son back. The police accomponied by my solicitor handed the papers saying my son had to be returned to me immediately or the father would be arrested. I had to go along too to take my son from him. Very traumatic but better for the child. It can be done and if you cant afford it, you will be entitled to help with the costs!! I really hope this helps . Best of luck to you at this difficult time xx

Brittany - posted on 12/09/2009

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you need to go to the courts and file an order of protection. i cant remember what exactly it is called but go in and tell them you are in fear of her safety and they should grant you custody. we have been in a similar situation only it was us taking the child to keep him safe. even if you do that you will still have to get a lawyer. if there is no custody established then he has the legal right to withold her from you...and the cops are not going to get involved. like i said, we went through this and it is a mess. we are finally going to court next month. i wish you the best of luck! i will keep you and your daughter in my prayers!

Chloe - posted on 12/09/2009

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iam so sorry, you need to get on to the cops to get her back asap, if your scared for her safetytell him that her father has tolded you that he will kill her befor.
if you dont know were she is try posting a thing on facebook and get everyone to post in on there wall to fine her. all my love you will get her back xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Nikki - posted on 12/08/2009

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OMG!!! i am so sorry i agree with the other girls and what they have said u need to call a lawyer and go and talk to a police officer. if he just took her bc he wanted to or i really am not understanding what happend cuz where i live a father has no rights for the child unless its been throgh the court systom so if my babys daddy dicides one day to take her from me all i have to do is call the police and they will get him for kidnapping i wish i could help you if you need me just add me into your circle and i will talk to u and try and help you as i get more information

Brandy - posted on 12/08/2009

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Have you told the police about the threat towards the child? If so, I would call and talk to another police officer, tell them what happened and why you are worried for your child's safety. I don't know about where you live but where I live, if one parent is scared for the safety of the child, they can send police to pick up the child.

Jina - posted on 12/08/2009

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1) is there a custody order or other legal document in place?

If not, go file a petition for you to have legal custody until the court decides custody.

2) have you contacted local authorities in regards to the threat?

That's all I can say other than call a lawyer...

Andrea - posted on 12/08/2009

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Get a lawyer NOW...

I would be tell the cops everything and seeking a lawyer ASAP.. They have kidnapped your daughter even if he is the father... So seek HELP right away.. I would be contacting anyone and every one that has heard or seen him say these things or done anything.. that is the best i can offer.. hope it helps... BEST WISHES and Take Care.. start call ASAP...

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