My daughter still wants to sleep with me

Belinda Jane - posted on 10/12/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My little girl Mia is 3 years and 5 months old .. I put her to sleep in her bed but still to this day I wake to find her next to me. She has trouble falling asleep without me next to her. Any ideas??

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Christy - posted on 10/18/2009

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I know people will hate this but if you daughter wants to sleep with you, let her. She's almost 3 and my husband works nights so it's not like she is in the way. I did some research and read up on it and found several articles that said there is no proof that it's detrimental to her development in any way. Apparently it's quite the norm in a lot of european countries. Do what works for you and don't stress about how old she is or how long it takes.

Jen - posted on 03/09/2012

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I mean if she wants to sleep with you i don't see an issue unless its cutting into loving time with hubby ;)

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Gloria - posted on 05/09/2012

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i just shut the door also ! my son is 2 years and 3 months and he continues to want to sleep with us, i simply close his door and he quiets down in less than 2 minutes. only problem is he wakes up during the night to come to our room and i give in then

Kathy - posted on 05/08/2012

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We love co-sleeping with our twins toddler. When hubby and I want to have some private time together all we have to do is move next room or upstairs where we the twins can't hear us:-)

Abimbola - posted on 03/09/2012

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I totally agree with Christy...it has no effects watsoevr on d kid, my baby is 2yr 2months + n she still falls asleep beside me evrynyt n sometimes day time...we r rili close n even tho her lil brother wwill be here in a few months I don't think d transition will be a problem

BethAnn - posted on 10/17/2009

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i guess i must be the mean mommy!...i dont even use the baby gate method...i simply shut her door. She is 20months old and has her routine of dinner,bath,saying "night night" to the house :) then book(s) and while book is being read a sippy cup of milk. she has her 'night night' cd that i will play after book is done and leave a dim lamp on and walk out and shut the door. She stays in her bed and by the time the cd is over, she is out. before i go to bed i check on her, turn off her lamp and shut the door behind me. She rarely wakes up in the night and if she does, she will call for me or daddy and we reassure her and play her cd again and she goes back to sleep usually within half an hour. Now we have not always been this lucky but sticking with this routine and refusing to let her sleep in our bed got us these results on about 3 months....illness usually disrupts this process but we try and stick to it so we can transition back easily once she isnt sick anymore

Shannon - posted on 10/16/2009

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My son is 2 and we use the baby gate method as well. I did not do that with my 4 year old and I'm regretting it because I'm still putting her back in her own bed every single night. My father in law suggested locking my door so she can't get in or locking her door so she can't get out but I'm not sure who that would traumatize more, me or her so we continue to put her back in her bed any time we wake up and find her in bed with us.

Aisha - posted on 10/16/2009

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I guess my method is a little meaner than the others posted. When my daughter (2) transfered to a bed I followed similar methods as when she was in a crib. She has a baby gate in her doorway. When she comes to the gate calling for me I respond and put her back in bed...and so on and so on. For instance, last night it took less than 20 min., tonight it took an hour. She has her bedtime ritual, bath, story, prayer, etc. Then bed. Illness, change in routine and she has to be "retrained", but it does work. Make sure her room is inviting (nightlight, music, etc.). My daughter helps us get her room ready for bedtime by turning off the light, choosing her stuffed animals to go to bed with. Just be consistent. And prepare her by telling her this is what you are going to do in advance. The other moms suggested doing this gradually and that maybe best considering she isn't used to it.

Good luck, hope this helps!!!

Melissa - posted on 10/16/2009

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I would tell my daughter that I had to go get ready for bed and when I get done she can get in bed with me. Usually by the time I was ready, she had fallen asleep!

Tracy - posted on 10/14/2009

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you could also tell her before she goes back to sleep, that you need to go to the bathroom or something, and sneak away and see what happens after that. she may fall asleep while waiting for you to get back. but definitely put her back in her bed when she climbs in with you. stuffed animals or a favorite toy next to her...good luck

KAREN - posted on 10/12/2009

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Well, the best way to do this is to wean (spelling?) her off. Each night, when you crawls in bed with you bring her back to her bed and you can stay with her for a little while. For a week or two, until she falls asleep, then for awhile but leave before she falls asleep. Tell her when you are bringing her back that you will stay with her for a little bit (then rub her back or something) and then you are going back to sleep. Every week or two, try it for a little bit less time until she gets used to falling asleep by herself. Does she has something that she can comfort herself with? If not, find a favorite blankie or stuffed animal that she can keep with her to help with that.

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