My poor little boy I feel so bad for what I did tonight :(

Ellen - posted on 07/16/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Oh my God I can't believe what just happened. I always put my 2.5 yr old and 9 mo old to sleep at the same time by lying down in the middle of them but tonight the baby just wouldn't settle and kept screaming and trying to get out of bed. So my toddler gets fed up, lightning fast, gets up and hits her! I tell him 'no, what a terrible thing to do, you don't hit others' but the baby keeps screaming so after a while the toddler hits her again, and I lose it and throw him off her into his bed but by accident he hits his head on the wall, hard, and starts screaming too. :( I feel SOOOO bad. I shouldn't have used force at all but after 30 mins of unsuccesfull putting them to sleep and baby screaming, I'd had it! I didn't mean for him to hit his head, I only meant to separate them because I was afraid he was going to attack her, he was right on top of her but poor little guy, I shouldn't have thrown him like that. Any tips on what to do in the future, other mommies?? I normally would have walked away when I knew I was reaching my limit but bedtime was already way past and I didn't want to let my toddler control the situation by letting him stay up, too (he loves that). Finally handed off the baby to my husband and had a talk with my son about how you don't hit others and how I was sorry I only meant to separate him, and sorry he hit his head by accident in the process and he was fine after and didn't appear too hurt, went to bed. My husband by the way is willing to help with all of this but the kids don't accept him as the person to tuck them in, never have, they just scream and don't let eachother sleep up and it isn't worth it ... thanks for listening and for any tips on how to make bedtimes easier.

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Amy - posted on 07/16/2012

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First of all try to move past the mommy guilt! You know it wasn't the best way to handle it and I'm sure you will never do it again. My husband used to work nights so I used to have to do bed time myself and I know how frustrating it can be. First of all can you adjust the bedtimes so you aren't doing it at the same time. Maybe try to put the 9 month old to bed a half an hour earlier and then the push the bedtime back for the 2 year old a half an hour later. My kids didn't share a room so I would put the youngest in the crib and usually she would self settle but some nights I would bounce back and forth. I simply told my son that he would have to stay in his bed and I would be back as soon as I got her settled. Some nights he stayed up waiting for me some nights he fell asleep on his own.

Otherwise I think you have to get your husband involved. Your kids probably want you because you are the primary care giver but if he's willing to help then I would let him. Currently my husband puts my daughter to bed (she wants him) and I put my son to bed-he originally wanted his father but over time he's adjusted and will let me put him to bed, he doesn't really have a choice. I would definitely try and separate them so they stop keeping each other up. The first few nights whichever child is with your husband is probably going to scream but as a mom you need to relinquish some of the responsibility and let him help. Even if it means your husband lays with your older one in your bed and then moves him to the room they share together. I know how stubborn 2 year olds can be so it might be easier if you husband lays with the youngest or rocks him while you put the 2 year old to bed.

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Cheyenne - posted on 07/18/2012

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It's ok to feel guilty. It was an accident. I know exactly what you are going through. I have 3 little ones and their dad works night shifts 7 pm to 7 am. Bedtime is the hardest for me. My 4 1/2 yer old (he will be 5 next week) an my newly turned 4 year old fight with each other at night time. My 5 1/2 year old goes to sleep on her own but the younger two wants mommy to be with them. They have to share a room and it gets tough. They fight, scream, hit, bite each other. It took some time but I have it now where I sit on the floor between their beds until try fall asleep. What you had happen was an accident. I hope you will be able to work out a solution to your situation that works best for you. Good luck!

Sam - posted on 07/16/2012

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Ellen try not to leave the mommy guilt bring you down too much. It was an accident and you were only trying to protect your little girl yes it's unfortunate your little guy was hurt in the prrocess but he may have unintentionally hurt your 9 month a lot worse had you not intervened. Maybe you could try putting your 9 month to bed before your 2.5 yr old ? Or try getting dad involved in bedtime so slowly over time your role some nights is minimal and the kids accept bedtime with dad.xx

S. - posted on 07/16/2012

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If the two start to make a habit of playing you up on bed time have your hb sit with u or just out side the door, knowing you have his support right there if you need it will really help. It did with me when I was going through a hard time putting my little ones to bed.

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