My son is almost 4 and will not poop in the potty. He asks for a diaper everytime and will not poop on himself! He will just hold it. He screams and crys for any lenght of time while we make him sit on the potty. Any suggestions!

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Jacquie - posted on 02/05/2009

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Hi.  My son was a late potty trainer.  I prefer to call it potty awareness :-)  At 3 1/2 he still would not poo in the toilet.  Here is what I did.  You can laugh if you want to.



 



His favourite  program was Buzby the bee from the Hermi DVD series.  So I printed a picture on Buzby and stuck it on the wall next to the toilet.  My son was in total rebellion of the word "poo-poo" to we changed it to "Stinker".  In a very sing-song manner I told him that Buzby had brought him a special "stinker catcher" to use - a new toilet seat.  The next day, when I saw he needed the toilet I told him that Buzby was going to take the "stinker catcher" away again if he did not use it.  He did not want that, so promptly climbed on and had his first motion in the toilet.  Big celebrations!  There after he was thrilled to receive a gold star to stick on his Buzby picture every time he did number 2 in the loo.



 



Well there's my 2 cents worth.  Hope it helps, or at least gives you a giggle.



 



Also, my son often says that it's too hard to push, so I give him something everyfew days to help.  He felt more "safe" to use a nappy originally.

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Monica - posted on 02/05/2009

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THANK YOU EVERYONE!  THE STORIES WERE FUNNY AND HELPFUL.  Corrigan pooped a big poop in the potty this evening.  WE had tried everything under the sun.  Today while he was at preschool i went to the store and bought several things he had mentioned wanting lately.  A jump rope, a kite, and a Dinaco Blue helicopter (Lightning Mcqueen) .  At dinner time he went and tried to poop.  We had one tiny ball of success!!! WE were very excited and proud and he got the jumprope.  About 15 minutes later he was really hurting and went to try again- he really wanted the helicopter.  He did it- got his helicopter- made several excited phone calls and then went to Granny's to spend the night! 

Karen - posted on 02/05/2009

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I JUST went through this with our 3 1/2 yr old girl.  She simply didn't want to do it.  Screamed and scratched me when I put her on the potty.  She said she was scared.  So I started 3 months before Christmas telling her that 3 1/2 yr olds don't go poo in a diaper anymore.  All of your friends are going poo poo in the potty and when you're 3 1/2 you will have to do it too.  I told her that for 3 months.  "Do you remember what happens at Christmas?"  And she'd said happily, I go poo poo in the potty.  I really had no faith in this, but as Christmas got closer, I noticed that she would go into the bathroom by herself and I could hear her pushing, but then she would come out and ask for a diaper.  But I knew she was trying.  And a couple days after Christmas she did it for the first time and she got a popsicle (which she never gets) and we made a huge deal out of it.  It's been a month and she's now quite good at it.  Only once did we have to give her a stool softner because she started holding it.  But as soon as things were moving again, she's doing great again.  She will go all by herself and then hunt someone down to look at her poo poos.  But then that's her personality.  She doesn't take change well so I guess she needed lots of time to get used to the idea.

Jacqueline - posted on 02/04/2009

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Hi, my 2.5 year old did the same thing for about 2 weeks while we were potty training.  I found that keeping the topic "light" helped.  If she saw that I was upset at all, it didn't help her figure it out.  Also, we sang songs, read books while we waited, then once she had gone #2, we rewarded her with stickers.  Stickers is the bribe that works for her, but you'll have to find out what your son's currency is!  Good luck!

Jade - posted on 02/04/2009

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my daughter had this problem and my health advisor told me its very commen and that some kids cant get used to doing it because its like losing a part of them(!). I just used to tell ruby big girls and boys poo on the toilet and when she did one we made a huge fuss of her and bought her a present for being a big girl.

Monica - posted on 02/04/2009

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Nothing has worked.  He wears underware all the time even to bed and has no accidents.  He just asks for a diaper everytime to poop in.  We have tried every reward and incentive under the sun.  I have decided to buy no more diapers.  Our daughter is potty training now and I will just buy pull ups.  We have always had diapers for her so he knows the diapers are in the house.  Thanks for the advice.

Helene - posted on 02/04/2009

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We had something a little similar with my son ( who was 4 1/2) just before he sarted school this fall and we were at our wits end . He would not poop on the toilet and kept doing it in his pants. What we did was encouraged him to do it for himself and set rewards. He enjoyed the paise and it worked for us. Now he will sit on the toilet and do it for himself. Best way forward is to put him in normal pants get rid of the dippers altogether and it works wonders.

[deleted account]

Have you tried... when he asks for a pull up to poop in tell him if he tries to poop on the potty you will give him m&m's or a cookie or maybe strawberry milk. Something he doesnt get very offten but really likes?

Monica - posted on 02/03/2009

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We have tried the reward plan.  Everything that he really wants when whe offer it as a reward for pooping in the potty he decides he doesn't want it anymore.  He didn't start peeing on the potty  until about a year ago but when he was ready he just did it.  He only had a couple accidents and wears underware to bed everynight.  He just can't get it into his head that he can poop in the toilet!

[deleted account]

Quoting Tracie:

Our daughter did the same thing. She would even go get the pull up and change herself when she had to go. My pediatrician recommended finding a reward that she really wants - stickers, special toy, whatever. We took her to the toy store, let her pick out something she really wanted, and then explained that when she went poopy in the potty she could have the toy. It was a battle at first, but after about 3 days she relinquished control, and got her new toy. She hasn't had an issue since. Of course, now we've moved on to getting rid of the pull ups at night. We're using the bribery/reward system again, but have elevated our reward to a quarter for each night she is dry. She gets to take the money she's earned and go to the dollar store. What can I say? She's a girl and likes to shop! Good luck!!!



That is how I got my 2 girls to poop on the potty. But we went to the dollar store a bought 5-6 toys and stickers and every time they went poop on the potty the got to pick something out of the bucket.

[deleted account]

Our daughter did the same thing. She would even go get the pull up and change herself when she had to go. My pediatrician recommended finding a reward that she really wants - stickers, special toy, whatever. We took her to the toy store, let her pick out something she really wanted, and then explained that when she went poopy in the potty she could have the toy. It was a battle at first, but after about 3 days she relinquished control, and got her new toy. She hasn't had an issue since. Of course, now we've moved on to getting rid of the pull ups at night. We're using the bribery/reward system again, but have elevated our reward to a quarter for each night she is dry. She gets to take the money she's earned and go to the dollar store. What can I say? She's a girl and likes to shop! Good luck!!!

Emily - posted on 02/03/2009

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my little boy used to screm when we put him on the potty an refused to do it!! I put his poo from a nappy in his potty to show him thts where it goes, after tht i put a nappy in his potty!! on days when he rfused to sit him on the toilet we told him he cud use the big by toilet an my boyfriend took him to the toilet with him a few times!

Kim - posted on 02/03/2009

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I just read about this in the parenting magazine. I really can't remember exactly what was said, but I know they said to talk with your doctor ASAP!!! They can end up with embarressing issues down the road. It will weaken thier colon and they can lose control! I would talk to your doctor ASAP!!!!

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