my son refuses to talk

Jennifer - posted on 03/08/2009

I agree with alot of you. Just wait he will talk when he is ready. My daughter is 21 months old and just recently started saying new words. Not very many but more then before. I can wait for her to talk though. Because I know she will not stop once she starts.   

Melissa - posted on 03/08/2009

 My advice would be to start off with small words or tasks and work your way up.  Such as when you are giving him his food at the table and he wants more, tell him to say more.  "Say more please"  If he wants a cup, say "cup please".  keep repeating yourself.  You may want to get his hearing checked out.  Eventhough he follows directions, he may be reading your lips.  I have known  a few families that have had this happen.  If he isn't talking by 2 1/2 then I would really be concerned!!!!

Jennifer - posted on 03/07/2009

Hi Rachael,

My son did the same thing. It scared me to the point that you are probably at. My son was also ahead in everything. Talking they say is easier for girls. It will change. My son will be 3 on the 20th and he will not be quiet. He began talking 6 or 7 months ago and he repeats everything you say and remembers and uses it in conversations later. Don't push though. When I did he would hide his face and not look at me. It makes them self concious. I hope this helps.

Jen White

Jenni - posted on 03/07/2009

I can't recall exactly when my 3 year old son really began talking but reading through the posts I do remember that he would trip up on his words because he was thinking so fast that his mouth couldn't keep up with him. Today he never stops talking. So like someone else said, be cautious about what you wish for. There isn't a moment's quiet in our house unless he's asleep.

Erin - posted on 03/07/2009

My daughter really came out of her shell when she was put in daycare with other kids.  It took a little while, but she really wanted to communicate with the other kids.  Then it was like night and day...she's a real chatter now.

Carrie - posted on 03/07/2009

I don't think he's "refusing" to talk.  Different kids develop differently.  My little guy just recently started talking a lot more (22mo now).  At 18mo he had maybe ten words and didn't use them often at all.  It sounds like your son is perfectly normal, and he's good at communication - let him develop his speech in his own time.

Joy - posted on 03/06/2009

I keep hearing stories about how people's little boys said very few words and then hit like age 2 and were suddenly able to carry on conversations.  I agree that if your doctor isn't concerned then you shouldn't be either.  My son is 16 months old, only says uh oh, dada and giggle giggle (don't know where that came from lol) and the occasional mama.  We also sign a little.  I think it's cool what Jessica Foster said about concentrating on just a few words at a time.  I do that also.  For the past 2 weeks I've been trying to get him to say banana and all done.  For banana he says nanana and he doesn't even attempt all gone.  I'm not worried though because I know he understands ME.  He goes straight for the tub and strips off his diaper when I say bath...so now we spell it unless we're putting him in the tub NOW lol.  He goes to the sink in the bathroom when we ask if he wants to brush his teeth.  When I ask him "where's your paci?" he goes and finds it.  There are countless other things we say that he understands and I think that for now, that's enough. 

Donna - posted on 03/06/2009

My daughter was very slow in talking and we all started to worry about her. She was a difficult pregnancy and I was starting to wonder if there was something really wrong. The only suggestion I can give is to put him down at night to music. Believe it or not Kathy Lee Gifford had done a lullaby DVD that my mom had found and I started to play it at night. It seemed like within a week, my daughter started talking so much more than she had been . . . I don't know why, I am not a doctor but it worked. Both of my children still have a habit of sometimes stuttering and you can see that their brains are working so much faster than they can speak. I am hoping that that improves but I encourage every mom whose child is slow in talking to play soft music with lyrics in it at night . . . try it and see what happens . . . Good luck, Donna

Nicolette - posted on 03/06/2009

My son didn't really talk for the first 2 years, it concerned me but not his pediatricians until he turned 2. Now he sees a speech therapist and is doing so well. i am pleased, some things are still questionable with him. Despite the face he can't carry on a good conversation, he can tell me the name of most of the trains from Thomas the Train and that amazes me. Give them time, then if it continues, their pediatrician will let u know if you should be worried

Heather - posted on 03/06/2009

One thing you have to remember is that boys definitely develop language skills later than girls. Signing is a great way to start & sounds like he's got that down. One thing you could try is not giving him what he wants until he says it with his words. I often say "Use your words" when my girls want something. If your dr. doesn't think he's falling behind, don't stress out!

Jessica - posted on 03/06/2009

Sometimes it helps for you to pick a couple of words to really focus on, so in addition to your normal conversation you can say your focus words more often and say those words slowly, clearly and slightly louder to emphasize them.  If he makes any vocalization in response, give him lots of praise, even if it doesn't really resemble a word.  My daughter said her first word at 14 months, only said about 10 words at 18 months and now at 22 months says well over 100 words and makes 3-4 word sentences.

Vi - posted on 03/06/2009

some kids just keep it inside till one day they come out and talk like an adult.  My older brother would'nt talk till he was two and then one day he comes to my mom with a cup in his hand and tells her "I want water". those were his first words.  My ninteen month old only says a couple dozen words yet.

Bobbie - posted on 03/06/2009

We had our sone doing bits of baby sign language early as well, and though i dont htink it delayed him tlakign overall, I do think it delayed him learning to speak about the thigns we had signs for (please, thank you, drink, food, more, etc). He is nearly 20 months old and, though he has picked up many words in the last two to three months, he still signs for Thank you.

When he signs we dont' correct him or tell him that it is wrong, we just say it bakc to him in words and ask him once if he can say thank you with hism mouth...he tries over the last couple of weeks is getting better as remembering to do it on his own.

I woudl suggest that you allow your son to keep using his signs and signals. He clearly understand the meaning of the actions he's preforming and understands directions when you give them...so he isnt behind in developing that cognitive function.

Continue to use the correct words even when he uses signals (use the same words everytime - not potty one time and pee-pee the next), and eventually he'll follow along.

Be careful what you wihs for though! My son had very few words at 18 months, and now her repeats new words daily after only hearing them once or twice! A blessing and reminder to be VERY carefulabout what words we choose.