my son sleeps in mommy and daddys bed

Katie - posted on 09/23/2009

Try reading this book, "On Becoming Baby Wise." There are really good ways to get your baby to sleep in their own bed. You really just have to let them cry, they do stop eventually. I know it's hard but it's best for everyone when they learn to sleep in their room. It helps teach independence and assurance that even though they can't see you you will always be there to get them in the morning. Good Luck!!

Melisa - posted on 09/22/2009

I to wasn't into the letting them cry way. My daughter was in our bed until she was two-ish. She used to start in her cot but would wake up and end up in our bed.

We made a really big deal of buying her big girl bed, took her shopping to get it and let her help choose a cover and things. then she helped set it up. And the whole time we were doing it we were telling her that she was getting a big girl bed and she was going to stay in it all night cause she was a big girl now. Just bascially brain washed her with it for the entire day and she stayed in it all night. She still woke up (and still wakes up at night) but she didnt expect to come into our bed. Oh and if this workes dont forget to make a big deal about it the next morning and for a few mornings after.

Helen - posted on 09/22/2009

I have a 19 month old son who slept in our bed every night...i say slept and he's fast alseep in his own bed for the 10 night running! We were the same as you, loved it at first and especially as my partner works away so it was convienient for me, but our relationship was starting to suffer and our sleep as we'd wake up in the middle of the night with a foot in our face! I must admit my partner did all the groundwork as i couldn't bear to hear him cry. He's taken upstairs and given a big hug and a kiss and we put a lullaby night light on, we reassure him that we're still here...(normally sat on the rocking chair) but that's the last time we look or speak to him. everytime he sat up we placed him back down in his crib and sat back. The first night Mik must have laid him back down about 20 times, but now he's asleep within 20 mins. We still stay in his room till he's asleep but it beats one of us laid at the side of him in our bed and the other one downstairs! Good luck...it's worth it in the end!! And on a plus note, our little boy prefers his bed to ours now!! x

Karen - posted on 09/21/2009

We are just in the process of getting our 13 month old to go to sleep in her own bed, it's been a long struggle for the last 5 days but last night we finally got some success. I, too cannot seem to be able to let her cry, I usually let her fall asleep with me then move her to her crib. When she wakes, which she usually does every time she turns I get up, give her soother and hold her hand till she falls asleep. After 5 days now all I have to do is give her soother now and she turns over and falls asleep. 2 nights ago she wouldn't and when she stood up in her crib I left the room till she calmed down then came in and lay her down again. She knows if she throws a fit now, I'll leave the room so she doesn't. It was only for a minute and the crying was more of a temper tantrum than a cry so I was able to handle it. I didn't bring her too my bed though. It was exhausting but is much better now.

Gevah - posted on 09/21/2009

you have to take him out of your bed at some point. i too hated to c my little girl cry every time i put her n her bed but now i get n the bed with her until she fall 2 sleep that way u have more privercy with ur husbend couse kids do get n the way and a child n ur bed can put a striane on ur marrage.

Carole - posted on 09/20/2009

my daughter is 2 1/2. I put her to sleep in our bed and I usually fall asleep holding her, then when my husband comes home from work at midnite he puts her in her bed.

I think I am the one with the problem of her sleeping in her bed. I feel that I need to take advantage and enjoy this time before she grows up and want to be independent.

since she was born i could never let her cry it out, as they say, I would cry with her, it just broke my heart.

Nicole - posted on 09/20/2009

I have a 4 yr old & an 8 month old. The 4 yr old we lay down with until she goes to sleep & she still ends up in our bed by morning. To avoid this problem with our 8 months old, I've just started letting her cry it out (she is a serious mama's girl & i never let her cry even during the day) -- surprisingly she's done very well. The first night she cried for 28 minutes, 2nd night & 3rd night for 8 min, & this is the 4th night & she cried for 4 minutes. The key is being consistent. Her bed time is now 7pm (it was very wishy-washy before). I feed her dinner at 6:15, bath & bed. If you have a set routine he will know what's coming & know to expect it every night. When he is crying, you can absolutely NOT pick him up. Ferberizing is a method where you let them cry for 5 minutes, go in pat their back, reassure them, & then leave again quickly increasing the time you are gone by 5 minutes at a time. However, with an older baby, they tend to just get more upset when you go back in (as my daughter also did), so it may be best to just leave him be. Also, do keep an ear out for changes in the crying, as this may mean he's gotten to a standing position he can't get out of, or as my daughter did (the first night only), get his legs stuck in between the crib bars. And if this does happen, simply help him get unstuck, tell him you love him, kiss him goodnight again, & leave quickly. Whatever you do, BE CONSISTENT!!! And if he wakes up in the middle of the night, same thing -- don't pick him up. Against my better judgement, I go in when my daughter awakes, pat her & leave. This usually makes her more upset, but I don't want her to think that I abandoned her. Everyone hates hearing their children cry, but for us, it was deifinitely the way to go -- she's getting a better night sleep for it too! Hope this helps & Good Luck!!!

Laura - posted on 09/20/2009

We have 5 children who have all co-slept until they were 2-3 yrs. No tears, no struggles it was all good when the change happened. Not a case of child in the bed for years. If your not ok with co-sleeping gradually change over time(a few weeks) in a peaceful manor so he experiences a natural flow of change.

Laura
Mom to 5 ages 18, 9, 7 ,5 and 1
Business owner Country Moose Kids http://www.countrymoosekids.com

Jacqueline - posted on 09/20/2009

I read her a book called Mommy I Want to Sleep In Your Bed, by Harriet Ziefert. I got it at the library plus I also explained to her that since she wasn't a little baby anymore not wearing diapers, etc she was WAAAAY too big for rocking to sleep and now that I got new living room furniture she is also too big to sleep on my lap. We just established a new nighttime routine. I put her in her bed, tell her a story then tell her to close her eyes,and kiss her goodnight. Then I sit in a chair near her, not next to her, just sitting in silence and no eye contact and in about 5 minutes she's asleep. The TV and being in my arms was what was waking her . She needed to fall asleep on her own . She became to dependent on me for being there 24/7 it was driving me coo-coo.

Angela - posted on 09/20/2009

AHHH I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS I KNOW ITS HARD BUT STOP IT WHILE YOUR AHEAD IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT THIS IS WHAT I DID LAY YOUR SON DAWN IN HIS ROOM AND SIT NEXT TO THE BED SAY GOODNIGHT TO HIM AND SIT THERE QUITE EVERYTIME HE TRYS TO TALK TO YOU JUST SAY GOODNIGHT DO THIS EVERYNIGHT AND SLOWLY WORK YOU WAY OUT OF HIS ROOM AND EVENTUALLY HE WILL BE IN HIS BED BY HIMSELF I READ THIS FROM A NANNY BOOK AND IT WORKED!!

Heather - posted on 09/20/2009

My son slept in bed with us until he was 18 months old. We really wanted our own bed back, so I completely understand what it is like to crave your own space! I put him in his crib & laid on the floor in front of the crib until he fell asleep. He cried for 45 minutes until he fell asleep. The next night took 30 minutes, and the time just lessened every night after that. He woke up in the middle of the night a few times, and cried for 10-20 minutes before going back to sleep. It took five days before he didn't fuss at bedtime. It is very hard, but in the end it is worth it because everyone gets a better night's sleep. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Tina - posted on 09/19/2009

My kid slept in our bed/room until he was 8 months old. Then I put him in his room and it was hard he did cry for about 20 minutes for a couple nights but now he's almost two and he sleeps in his own bed and falls asleep on his own. Another idea is to get him really tired then put him in his crib.

Crystal - posted on 09/19/2009

it will be tuff but let him cry!! he will give in... it may take awhile but dont lose hope.

Holli - posted on 09/19/2009

Just let him cry it out, he'll be used to it after about a week.

Lorelei - posted on 09/19/2009

This is something he is going to have to learn, and now is better than later. Put him in his own bed and close the door. You are going to have to let him cry it out. Plain and simple, there may be days where he will cry for 20 minutes and there are days where he will cry for 2 hours, but DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT give in, because all that hard work goes down the tubes. Best of luck to you dear and I hope it works out.

Stacy - posted on 09/18/2009

hi,my 2 1/2 year old sleeps in bed as well.we let him fall asleep inbetween then we take him to his bed.we can do this several times a night.but i cant let him just cry since he shares a room with our 15 month ols son as well.so im hoping one of these days he just stays.we did move him to a twin bed so maybe try a toddler bed instead of a crib.good luck i know how it is having feet kick you all night.

Vicky - posted on 09/18/2009

i agree with Megan - let him cry he'll get used to it! and please do it now!! it'll only get harder the longer you leave it! if he was 2 he'd make it 10 times harder! good luck ;-)

Magan - posted on 09/18/2009

My son slept in our bed until he was about 13 months old. We decided it was time. We put him to sleep and the put him in his bed. The first night he cried for 45 minutes and went back to sleep, the next night 10 minutes and after that it was smooth sailing. I hate letting my son cry, but there are few other ways to really teach them to get used to their own beds. It's hard but you can do it and I pray it works out well for you!

Karina - posted on 09/17/2009

My daughter sleeps in my room, correction, it has become her room, every night. I got her used to sleeping on her own crib, which is great, but I have to let her sleep for at least an hour before I can go back in! Any little noise and she'll wake up and want to sleep with mommy instead. At first, it was hard because she would cry and I would want to go back in the room, but I just let her cry it out for a little and she started getting used to it. You just have to be consistent and know that it's ok if you go back in to check on them. Slowly they become more independent and you may even find that your baby gets up laughing or entertaining himself 'til he goes back to sleep, it's really cute. Sometimes my daughter still gets up and wants to sleep with me, which is ok with me, but most nights she'll go right to sleep, while mommy and daddy hang out in the living room.

Jenni - posted on 09/17/2009

I put my kiddo to bed with my dad until he falls asleep then put him in his bed try that. Works for me maybe it will work for you

Heather - posted on 09/17/2009

My son slept in the bed with us until last week. He's almost 2 and in a toddler bed. We lay down with him until he falls asleep and if he gets up in the middle of the night we let him get in bed with us. He doesn't cry and we're all getting some sleep. When he was 1 we tried to put him in his own bed and he wasn't ready. We'd move him over to the side and put a pillow by him while we WATCHED TV:)

Maggie - posted on 09/17/2009

Our 3 year old still does the same thing sometimes. Our one year old ALWAYS does. Try laying with him until he falls asleep then putting him back in his bed. Or if you can lay in his bed until he falls asleep. If he's in a toddler bed you can sit next to him, maybe hold his hand until he falls back asleep. We did this with our three year old and he (mostly) sleeps in his own bed now. Good Luck!

Karla - posted on 09/17/2009

sometimes my son will come into our room and want to sleep..but i take him back to his bed and lay with him until hes asleep...i dont know if your son has a bed of his own or how old he is but maybe this could work...its hard to hear your child cry..its just breaks my heart everytime..but ive come to realize thats hes fine:)...good luck to you!