Please help my son is going thru a mean hitting phase?

Alisa - posted on 09/28/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is goin g to be 3 at the end of oct. But lately he has been going thru a huge mean phase. He bounces & punches his older silblings. And then does same to me & says I sadi sorry mom, but then turns around a laughs about it. Im trying so hard not to lose my pateint & spank him, but Im at my wits end. Please help & any advice would be great.

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Helen - posted on 10/01/2011

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my 2 year old went through a phase of biting me a while back. I tried everything - time out, telling off, ignoring etc, all backed up by dad also telling him off etc.

The only thing that worked was me biting him back. I hated doing it, but it worked. I didn't just do it - I warned him, told him I didn't want him to bite because it hurt, and if he did it again then I would bite him back.

Each and every child is different, as is every parent/child relationship and this approach may not be the right one for everyone, and I would certainly say if you are going to go down this route to make sure it is the only option left untried before doing it, and I would also say that the warning is important and make sure you don't do it when you are angry - it has to be a calculated response not a reactive one. I cried for hours afterwards!

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Cassie - posted on 10/01/2011

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@ Helen .. My nephew went threw the biting stage also and my sister did the same thing you did. She explained that it hurt and that she will bite him the next time he bites her well he didnt believe her so he bite her real hard it drew blood and she bit him back. and since then he has not bit anyone. Some people may think omg thats aweful but i call it a lesson learned. You gotta do what you gotta do it may sound mean but when you have done everything in the book to stop them from biting and it dont work sometimes you just have to show them that it hurts

Nikole - posted on 10/01/2011

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My son is five and actually went through that phase and it reared its head again recently. There is a book called "Hands are not for Hurting" and there is every spin off including words, feet, etc. My son likes the books and asks me to read them to him-that might help! On a punishment note, spanking my son is a last resort because he is a masochist! :) He laughs when you spank him so we took away privileges and toys and any movie that might be remotely "violent"-you know "Kung Fu Panda" :). That worked immediately because the only thing left for him was educational toys! Another thing that works is timeouts in a closed door room-he hates being away from everything and everyone fun! He might be trying to get attention, but when he hits you and you respond he is getting his way-so removing him from the situation might be your best bet! Just like most phases, this too shall pass, but you definitely cannot leave it unchecked because it will carry over to the classroom when he goes!

Cassie - posted on 10/01/2011

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My daughter turned 2 years old in aug and i am dealing with the same thing. My daughter hits me and throws things when she gets mad. I have made a game out of it. When she gets mad and goes to hit me i raise my hand real fast and say HIGH FIVE ! She looks at me funny and then gives me a high five and she forgets about hitting me until she gets mad again lol. But sometimes it dont always work. When she does hit me I put her in the high chair strap her in and walk away. She hates that ! She will scream and throw a big fit and i explain that she does not hit mommy hitting is bad and when she is done throwing her fit i get her out of the high chair. The hitting is slowing getting better it takes time for a child to realize that they are doing wrong out of anger. I hope this helps. Best of luck to you!!

Georgina - posted on 09/30/2011

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my daughter went threw the same thing always hitting me and my other daughter and just trying to break anything she could. she's now 3 1/2 and still dose it sometimes but i found that some of her moods and the way she was acting was because of what she was watching on TV, she only watches kids programs but if you sit and watch some of them yourself you can see they are not as nice as they look. so now i make sure i know what she watches and the violence has reduced. don't know if this will help but it worked for me so good luck

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