Nicole - posted on 04/03/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )
I am a mom of a 3 year old girl and I babysit my girlfriend's son a few mornings a week in my home. My girlfriend has decided that her preferred method of potty training, which started this Monday was to leave him naked from the waist down. We did not employ this method when training our daughter. We used pull-ups and then panties. She learned quickly and with few accidents.
That said, I am NOT questioning her method, frankly it's not my place. I genuinely place no judgements on her preferred technique. My issue is that she fully expected me to also have him naked from the waist down while I sit him in my home. I stated that he be in pull-ups until he can demonstrate that he can somewhat consistently use the potty in my house. I will fully support the training by way of asking his if he needs to go encouraging him to take a moment to sit and try etc. the only difference being he'll be wearing a pull-up.
- A little back story- He's always had issues with anyone but his mom changing him. He will hide when he does his business and when you ask if he need to be changed he'll completely deny he's gone no matter how gentle and non-threatening I am about it all he still gets super traumatized when being changed. This has been going on for the 2 years I've watched him. He even reacts this way with his dad, grandparents etc. It's not exclusive to my home. In fact because I've been caring for him for so long he's actually *slightly* better with me 7 out of 10 times.
So knowing this I had always anticipated that when training started there would be some qualms about using the potty here. I had also assumed that knowing his history she'd have spent more than 2 days training him before sending him to my home.
She's stated that my insistence that he be in pull-ups is going to break the training consistency and impede his potty training progress. I told her she's right and that I happen to agree. I also told her perhaps she should take a week or so to train him in her home if this is her desired method of training but I simply can not risk him hiding to pee or poop in my house without a pull-up on. she responded that she can't spend a whole week on this.
How can I resolve this conflict? I feel I've been direct about my needs and boundaries as a caregiver and she feels I'm not being supportive.