Potty Training Help Please!!!!!

Jaime - posted on 08/18/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 3 and a half years old. We have introduced thepotty a million times. She has gone every now and then, but is now totally refusing. We have done everything, rewards, charts, movies, books...you name it, we did it. Her preschool requires that she wear underwear to school. She goes to school in underwear, holds it for 3 hours and then screams for a diaper. She will hold it for hours and hours. Her pediatrician told us to back off and not even mention potty at all, but I need the help of some good moms. Any advice?

Thanks,



Jaime

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Steffi - posted on 08/21/2009

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What really worked for my now almost 3.5 yr old son: Take a piece of paper and write his name on it. Then you will hang it in his bathroom, next to where his potty chair is. ( This will be his SPECIAL potty chart!) Let him/her pick out some cool stickers, possibly with their favourite TV characters, etc. on it! Every time he makes a "pee-pee" in the potty, he/she will get to put ONE sticker on that potty chart. Every time he makes a "poop" he/she will get to put TWO stickers on it.......once they have 10 stickers on that chart, they will get to pick a SPECIAL PRICE out of a little price box (could be candy, small toy, etc.). This really helped my little boy and it will also help them with counting their numbers :0) I would also let my son pick out some "Spidey and Batman" undies, which he would get to wear, once his pants would stay DRY!!! At first he always asked for his diapers/pull-ups that he wanted back on.....but you will have to be very strict and maybe one weekend take the time and let him run around the house naked or even in underwear........my son hated the fact that the "pee-pee" ran down his legs! Another thing that he really enjoys doing: put some cheerios or fruit loops in the potty and let him "aim" on it to try to sink it! He really LOVES doing that LOL

Hope, some of these tips might help:0) HANG IN THERE! Eventually your little one will figure it out....it just takes a LOT of patience! GOOD LUCK!!!

Allison - posted on 08/18/2009

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My son is 20 months and I just introduced the potty yesterday. Read the book "Potty Wise." This is a great series that I started when he was a newborn and they haven't failed me yet! Good luck!

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Louise - posted on 08/22/2009

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i am having the exact promblem with my daughter at the moment, I have been trying to potty train her for ages, this week has been my fifth time of trying and a emotional week as i have just given up again today. I thought i might back off a bit, maybe it is too much pressure for her. It is a worry and hard work all i seemed to be doing was going on at her to use the potty and she was just getting upset by it all. I have to say sometimes i wonder if mums get too much pressure off other mums because their child is out of nappies and yours is not. Perhaps you should take the pressure off for a bit, I know it is so difficult i must admit i did not realise it was going to be this hard.

Jessica - posted on 08/22/2009

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Honestly your doctor is right. Just relax and don't push. It will happen. Each child is different. I have 4 kids. One potty trained at 18 months. One at 3 1/2 and one at 2 1/2 and then my youngest is just now becoming interested in she is 20months. They will do it on their own time. You can talk to her about it at this age she should be able to reason a bit. You can read books about potty training. There is a book Called Princess and the Potty it's cute.

The thing that stinks the most is preschools refusing kids that aren't potty trained. I know when I worked in daycare we wouldn't move a child up to the 4&5 year old room till they were trained. But that can be pushed. It's not really far no two children are a like. Not every child hits their milestones at the average age. That's ok. And when they refuse a child because of that it's saying it's not ok. And that really bothers me.

Cheryl - posted on 08/22/2009

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I used the therat that Santa and the Easter bunny on my son....they only bring chocolate and presents to big boys who poop and pee on the potty. That helped. Has she watched you go potty? I know that might sound weird but a visual may help.

Cindy - posted on 08/21/2009

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we had my son potty trained by 15 months he is now 3 and doing great we started by making him sit on the potty every 30 mins it was a pain and a big hassle but it worked for us and my 16 month old daughter has taken to the potty already also but she is alot more stubborn so we give her a book to look at and it seems to work the book gives her something else to think about then the potty. oh yeah i also realized that both my children hated the little potty chairs they had to use the big potty with the little seat

Tammy - posted on 08/21/2009

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Find out what motivates her then use that as a reward. For my son, it was candy, so what I did was go out and buy a bag of smarties, and get a tupperware dish, unwrap each individual pack and he got one each time he went potty - because it was the "smart" thing to do. Corny...maybe but it caught on with him. If she has accidents, help her clean up, but don't scold, it will only set your training back. Instead use the reward to motivate her to want to go.

Amber - posted on 08/21/2009

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I fully appreciate this problem. My daughter was all of 3 and a half years old before the potty thing caught on. She was showing all the signs of readiness - she knew when she needed to go, she was fascinated by the potty, and would even sit for up to an hour just hanging out on the potty, but she wouldn't or couldn't actually go. It finally just clicked for her personally one day, and she's been really good since then. I have to say, to me, it gives me hope. I know my daughter is really smart, and she's physically developed and not behind, but sometimes they are just individual and stubborn enough to do things on their own schedule. Good luck!

KRYSTAL - posted on 08/21/2009

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Jamie,

I know it can be frustrating. I am going thru the potty-training tug of war with my 2 yr old daughter who will be 3 in Oct. What we have done is everytime I go to the bathroom, I make sure she is with me, she is at the stage where she wants to copy everything I do. So I tell her that mommy is a big-girl because she goes potty and wears big-girl underwear. I have also told her that once she starts wearing big-girl underwear that she will get a swing-set outside, I know it's bribing, but everytime she goes to the bathroom on the potty she says I want a swing, and I keep telling her...remember you have to wear big-girl underwear all the time and go potty every day! Don't give up, she will get there! :)

Julia - posted on 08/21/2009

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Get rid of diapers altogether. She will have a few accidents but when she realizes she will not be able to have a diaper on it will end. Good Luck!

Anita - posted on 08/20/2009

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Jaime...if your lil one still wants nappies (diaper) on her then let her wear it...what u can do though is put on some panties for her b4 u put on a diaper...(go shopping and let her choose the panties)...putting on some panties b4 the nappy helps kids feel less comfortabel after doing a poo or wee becos it doesnt draw the mositure fully away from the skin and allows them to be more aware of how it really feels and it might just do the trick...this is really the only advice i can give...doesnt hurt to try...*shrugs*

Ronke - posted on 08/20/2009

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Jaime try promising her treats if she doesn't wet her self. that worked for my 3yr old

Jessica - posted on 08/20/2009

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I'm trying to bride my son (who will be 3 in December) into going to the potty with a piece of candy from the candy dish even if he "attempts" to go. The candy dish is still full....lol. He seems to enjoy having a dirty diaper on, and I have to chase him down just to pry the thing off of him. I honestly think he just has that defiant streak in him, terrible two's I guess you could say. It was extremely hard for me to stop breastfeeding, so it's no wonder this is taking awhile as well. But, he is still young and I guess he will do it when he decides it's *cool* to do. I haven't tried a book yet...if only there was one involving cars and the potty, I would be set. :) Thanks for all the tips.

Jeanine - posted on 08/19/2009

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hang in there I know our 2 daughters will get it eventually. Love the sigh effect at the end!LOL. Thanks for friending me back! this site is awesome. I'm glad I read your post. I honestly thought it was going to be another mom with a boy poty problem. I feel all I read are about girls who got it faster at age2 than their brothers etc. I never come across a a little girl past the age of 3. I have been trying to take away her TV she loves to watch because she gets sooooo engrossed in it that she's too lazy or concerned she'll miss something to go to the potty even if I put it right under her nose. I know the feeling guilty part for sure! Well enjoy the time you have with her before you intoduce another! Gosh I feel like I am pulled in two. It was so much easier with one but I would never want just one anyway! We love them dearly! Don't we. It just makes it that much harder! I'll write to you on your FB page from now on. This is fun

Jaime - posted on 08/19/2009

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I feel your pain!!!!! We have been trying since she was 2. She goes to gymnastics and she wears a diaper. The only thing we can do is try. I have tried taking things away, but that doesn't work and if she is struggeling with it, I feel guilty. She is my ony child so far, we will be trying soon. I have heard that when kids have a younger sibling they can regress. sigh.....

Jeanine - posted on 08/19/2009

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i just friended you Jaime. I was going to ask you if you have another baby younger than her? I was told, and also can understand that being a problem ,but she is now 6 months old. Shouldn't that be over? Also to those people who tell us they will be potty trained before they are 16 or hit college can go you know where!LOL I feel like my little one is never going to get there and I know she know's wet or dry and where pee pee and poopey goes. She goes sometimes on her own and usually now when she is watching TV she totally wets her pants!!!! So I have finally taken all TV out for now until she can learn to take herself more consistently. She starts preschool this sept 8 and theyluckly don't require potty trained children or else we would be in trouble. I would like to put her in dancing since she loves to sing and dance but I can't imagine being embarrassed with that situation.

We have been stuggling with this since she was 2 actually introduced the potty at 18 months. We are gettting no where! UGU! I can't be anymore patient!

Jaime - posted on 08/19/2009

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Thanks Jeanine!!! It SO helps to not be the only one out there!!! My daughter has regressed also. She was doing it on and off and then NOT at all!!!! I dont know what to do. My pediatrician says, "it's not like she will be in diapers when she is 16!" But I don't want her in diapers at all, nevermind at age 4...or omg later?? Jeanine, friend me if you dont mind so we can chat and vent!!!!!!

Jaime

Jaime - posted on 08/19/2009

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Some people say it is a control thing, I believe that somewhat. Let him be completley naked, or maybe take Emily's advice throwing skittles in the potty? My daughter is just TERRIFIED of it. She literally wears undies to school and holds it the whole 3 hours until I oick her up. I thought giving up the bottle or pacifier would be hard, but this is the hardest!! Good luck Stephanie!! Let me know how he does!!



Jaime

Jeanine - posted on 08/19/2009

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oh my god finally someone who is in my exact shoes! Sorry I can't help since my daughter turned 3 in June, she had it 2 weeks before and then about 6 weeks later completely regressed! How hard was that! Yeh HARD! I am soooooo frustrated with the people who say when they get it they get it and to just be patient when they're ready they'll do it etc! Well I think we have regressed more than we've gone forward! I can't stand reminding her has I think she should learn to know the feeling and I can't remind her forever! I am sorry I am no help and am just venting but KIT with me if you don't mind and let me know if something works and I will do the same. Good luck but I can tell you this I hear you loud and clear!

Stephanie - posted on 08/19/2009

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im having a nightmare with my son. he's 3 in september and starts pre-school in january and they to require him to be nappy free. people keep telling me not to worry and he will pick it up when he is ready but instead of holding his wee when he has no nappy on he will pee on the floor. he knows when he is nappy free tho so is he just doin this to test my nerves?

Jaime - posted on 08/18/2009

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Thanks Emily! I asked the pediatrician about bladder/urinary tract infections as I myself have problems with kidney stones, etc and he said it would not cause it. Although I wouldn't know how to let a girl aim for the skittles...lol. But, will try. I am desperate! Thanks for taking the time to write!

jaime

Emily - posted on 08/18/2009

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Try throwing sittles in the toilet! Give her something to aim for! they make pretty rainbow streaks in the water, then she can eat some if she goes! (the ones left in the bag, of course. Ha! ) Also, When I was young, I had a HUGE history of bldder infections b/c my urethra was too small. It often hurt to go to the bathroom unless there was somthing "like a diaper" agaist me. Not to freak you out, but make sure she does not have a bladder infection. If she is capable of holding her bladder for hours, I would bet she's ok, but if I remember correctly, I think that can actually cause urinary tract infections. I'm no doctor, but I would guess that is why your doctor told you to back off with the potty training for now. Hope this helps.

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