Screaming kids

Charity - posted on 12/31/2012

I know somewhat of what you are going through-except my son is 12 and daughter is 4. They could not get along for nothing, My son has some problems-Mood disorder, Anxiety disorder, and ODD so you can imagine my problems. LOL!!!!! When I go out with my mom I sometimes can't understand why she is having such a problem with how my 4 year old was acting out, I thought well she was acting pretty good but then I realized that she is not with us all the time when she shows out or misbehaves. Anyway, my 12 year old he had this thing where he would always pick with her to get her crying however he could. So now that he's doing better with the new medicine that they have him on-I'm really seeing how she has gotten out of hand in the last yr or more since I went back to school. When I went back to school mom started letting her watch TV which changed her attitude a lot. Anyway, I understand exactly what you are going through but I noticed that if I took away her TV or put her to bed/timeout that it does help a little bit. But, she has gotten a little worse about wanting to pick and go on. It's like a zoo sometimes at my house. LOL!!!!! Consistency is the main thing about having control over these little fellows. Which I am still trying to get under control. It's just hard being a single mom.

Angela - posted on 12/30/2012

Chantelize,
What time of the day do you find your two boys behaving this way? It sound like the 1 year old may be following the 4 yr old when he screams. Although squealing is a one year old's behavior. When does the 1year squeal, is it after his brother has or just to get his way? If its to get his way, sit him down where he is squealing and get on his level and tell him to use his words (if he is speaking words). If he is nonverbal you could teach him sign language. Explain to him why you sat him down and what it is that you need for him to do. Do this if he squeals because he hears older brother doing it.

Your four year old should be using his words at this age to communicate what he needs or wants. So do the same for him by sitting him down get on his level and tell him what you need from him. Do you have a time out place? If this is your form of discipline. Explain to him why you have sat him down and what you need from him.

Chantelize said your four is sneaky, what is he doing? Do this after you have gave a warning to them both. Timeout is one minute per year of age.

When you ask your four year old to do something and he gives you that reply, take him into the area where you need him to do it. Tell him again what you need of him and if he does not. Tell him he will stay there until it is done. Follow through because if you let him go before he is finish, he is never going to listen when you ask him to do something. Try to stay calm even when they are having their tantrum (screaming or squealing) because they need to hear you clearly without screaming what you need to do. When you scream it teaches them to scream back, children pick up on everything their parents do around them.

Chantelize - posted on 01/11/2010

Quoting tarsha:

my boys are the same and were mis behaving alot..until i decided this year is gonna be different, i have 4 boys 6 1/2, 5, 3 and 6months..my husband and i decided not to smack them anymore and to cut out the yelling at them and talk to them and explain things to them, its hard sometimes but its make our house a lot calmer (even though its been like 5 days) lol...its mostly our 3 yr old that screams and we try and say to him use ur inside voice..and kids pick up on the nag nag nag voice..lol so try and get down to his level..1 more thing star charts are good and keep things positive..
but in the end boys will be boys......good luck

Hi  I only have two , you have 4 I am taking my hat off for you I do not know how you do that. . .

keep sanity

Chantelize - posted on 01/11/2010

Quoting Sheila:

wow. i cant say id be much help, but its good to know im not alone, my sons are 3 and 5 and it sounds like you just desdribed my life..i thought i must be doing something wrong for them to act like they do, i guess its just another step to growing up :-)

Hi  Thanks but I really do hope they get over this growing step fast, Good luck to you too

Chantelize - posted on 01/11/2010

Quoting Jennifer:

Don't offer then any attention when they do this, ignore them. go into another room. If that doesn't work put them into their rooms and shut their doors. It may sound bad, but you want to get the idea across that you are mommy and it needs to stop. Sometimes ignoring can work. Some kids just do it for attention and when they get the attention, like scolding,etc... they keep doing it.

Currently this is what I am doing and mostly when I check they fell asleep, I can also say then I am so tried myself, they tend to drive me crasy

Chantelize - posted on 01/11/2010

I really hope that this growing up step is over fast I am tired

Melanie - posted on 01/08/2010

I send my child to her room upstairs to throw her fit. When she is done, she may come down stairs and have a converstaion with me without wining and crying and screaming. i tell her everytime she comes down stairs i do not respond to screaming or crying. go upstairs and get it out of your system and when you are calmed down them come talk to me. until then don't come down. there were times she was up there for a good 1/2hr. so be it. it's okay for them to show their emotion but they need to learn how to calm down by themselves and that is not how you get attention. you need to be very consistent. everytime they scream send them. everytime they cry, try to calm them down and see why they are crying. if it was because they didn't get their way, explain to them why and try to calm them down and hug them but if they do not stop and you know they are doing it for attention send them to their room until they calm down. my daughter expresses herself when she is upset but she no longer screams, throws herself down. when she crys she's taught herself how to calm down so her and i can talk about it. you must be patient and not give in. do not go into their room while they are throwing their fit. just let them be. when you hear no more screaming then go up there and hug them and let them know you love them and they need to just calm down instead of screaming. just explain to them that is not how you get attention or the things you want.

Justine - posted on 01/07/2010

I have 2 boys the same age too.I am often stuck in your same shoes but I find that a day full of routine and structured mommy play tends to keep the beasts at baby. If I am trying to cook dinner I offer crayons and coloring books or play doh. If I want to watch TV it usually works best to sit on the floor and maybe bust out the lego's. It's busy and non stop, your doing great make sure you take the time out to just sit watch and laugh!!!

Kelly - posted on 01/07/2010

I have two boys the same age and they both fight, scream and taunt each other and will not listen but they can also be very loving toward each other. I have heard that brothers that fight at a young age are often best mates when they grow up! Here's hoping anyway.

Cynthia - posted on 01/06/2010

Hi! I have a 4 old girl - hallie - I've tryed all of that, also; but I find that stopping what ever I'm doing and do what she wants it some times works, they just want time with themself by themself (mom individually) or play a game togther as a family, talking to each at a time .

Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2010

Don't offer then any attention when they do this, ignore them. go into another room. If that doesn't work put them into their rooms and shut their doors. It may sound bad, but you want to get the idea across that you are mommy and it needs to stop. Sometimes ignoring can work. Some kids just do it for attention and when they get the attention, like scolding,etc... they keep doing it.

Tarsha - posted on 01/06/2010

my boys are the same and were mis behaving alot..until i decided this year is gonna be different, i have 4 boys 6 1/2, 5, 3 and 6months..my husband and i decided not to smack them anymore and to cut out the yelling at them and talk to them and explain things to them, its hard sometimes but its make our house a lot calmer (even though its been like 5 days) lol...its mostly our 3 yr old that screams and we try and say to him use ur inside voice..and kids pick up on the nag nag nag voice..lol so try and get down to his level..1 more thing star charts are good and keep things positive..

but in the end boys will be boys......good luck

Janet - posted on 01/06/2010

Some days its just no fun at all being a mom. The one thing I would try is turning on the music when they start screaming. Turn the music loud enough to drown out the screams. If they scream louder than turn the music louder, and you could take it a step farther and dance around while the music plays. Also you could play it up by telling them you like the way they sing to your music, and that it sounds lovely! It sounds a little crazy, but I don't think you have anything to lose by trying it. Good luck

Sheila - posted on 01/05/2010

wow. i cant say id be much help, but its good to know im not alone, my sons are 3 and 5 and it sounds like you just desdribed my life..i thought i must be doing something wrong for them to act like they do, i guess its just another step to growing up :-)