Kimberlee - posted on 07/13/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )
My darling 18 month old is very active and lately doesnt sleep all that well. My husband leaves around 7am and doesnt return home till around 8pm. We move abroad and are currently away from family and friends. He is a wonderful father, but he doesnt help with her. He will play for a while when he gets home, but that is all. He is very tired and usually doesnt wantt to talk either, so, when I tell him something that has happened with us during the day, he wont listen or turns his back on me or interrupts me.. In the last 17 months, I have gone out alone 3 times. My little one still sleeps in bed at night with me, since we move so much, its hard for me to put her in a new dark room by herself. I feel she will feel more protected and I wont have to worry about her, if she is with me. I do put her in her crib (that is beside the bed) initially and then if I hear her, I put her in bed.
I happen to be overly tired lately and was worried I had something wrong. Got all my test back (full blood, pap, urine, etc) and just had high white blood cell count. My doctor said I was in perfect health, and it could just be a bit of depression. he said i should go and talk to someone, that my insurance covers it, but I have no one to leave my daughter with. I feel like such a failure...Haley, my daughter is very active and I feel guilty if I dont pay attention to her at every moment. She has free roam of the house and is very sweet, following me around everywhere, doing chores in the morning. She is always in the kitchen with me when Im cooking (which I love to do), playing with pots and pans...we have playdooh sessions and dancing sessions, we go to the beach, to the store, parks, walks.... but I still dont feel it is enough. I feel guilty all of the time and to make matters worse, she has started throwing tantrums (which I deal with quietly, letting her stop when she is ready, all the while giving a look of dissapproval), hitting, kicking and has become very hyper and very clingy..I feel that maybe I am not paying enough attention to her, and I just dont know how to balance everything out. I have always been fiercy independent, traveling around alone, but now I miss my family and friends and truly believe it takes more than one person to raise a child...Any insight or words of sanity?