Struggling to discipline my 3yr old daughter!

Estelle - posted on 03/16/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have 2 girl,one 4 yrs an a 3 yr old. The 3 yr old is really giving me a hard time, she ignores me all he time, always running away when i talk to her and is VERY VERY cheecky an talks back. Have tried almost everything, punished her by putting her in room, then she climbs thru the window and play outside, smacking her bums, took away fun stuff like favorite toys, watching cartoons, but nothing seems to help. If i talk in a soft voice she just ignores me, whether its talkingto her coz she did sumthing wrong or just trying to chat with her, wanting to have a conversation an when i loose it and yell at her she runs away... Any advise from anyone on how to make this better.... Please, i love my lil girl so much an dont wan to fight with her all the time....

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Sarah - posted on 03/17/2012

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When you are talking to her make sure you are right by her, down at her level, and having her look at you. Sometimes even holding her hand helps to keep her attention on you. At 3 yrs old keep your conversations short and simple. Instead of putting her in her room have a time out spot where you can see her, but is away from her toys, and where she can't see the TV. Also if you take something away make it something that is immedient. For example: If she throws a toy then that is the toy she loses right then and there. NOT: If she throws a toy you tell her that she does not get that toy she wanted at the store. You also need to be consistant.

Deidre - posted on 03/17/2012

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I am a single parent of 3 growing boys ages 13, 6, and 4. They are active as well. My youngest has become some what of an attention monster LOL. What I found that helped was a couple of things. One, I must MAKE the time to have one on one with each. Which is exhausting at times, but really pays off in the end. No Attitude problems as a whole. Number two, I have to orchestrate structured activities in order for the house to run smoothly without everybody running around acting crazy. And trust me, with 3 boys this happens more often than I'd like. I must make a conscience decision to start up a game of Shoots and Ladders, Dominoes, Match Maker, Hide and Seek, Writing Words, Math Concepts, Craft Time, Freeze Dance, Hop Scotch, Tic Tac Toe, And Imagination Story Telling. The house is nice and quiet and mommy is happy. They get their quality time with me and I am creating Happy Memories for my kids.



Ps, Ethan also climbed out his bedroom window last summer. He was down the street looking for kids to play with!! His brother, 18 months older, just watched him do it!!! Ethan was smart enough to throw a pillow out to the ground for a soft landing too!! I made it clear to them both that it was CLEARLY against the rules to climb out of the window. I also gave them a lecture on watching out for each other and coming to me when things get out of hand. Darius has a bad habit of encouraging Ethan to do things like searching for mommy's candy stash. Then when mommy catches them Darius tries to blame Ethan. After all, Ethan is the one who actually DID the act. I have become accustomed NOW to include Darius in the punishment. He knows better and is capable of preventing some really hairy situations. This is a good habit to instill in them now, so when they are older and are tweens, they will know to have each others back.



As far as the charts go, I'm sure there are many ways to utilize them. I would show them the stickers first. Kids love stickers! They will be excited right away. Ask them if they like them or if they want any? When they say yes, let them know just how they are able to earn them.

You get 1 sticker if you get yourself dressed without whining

You get 1 sticker for NOT yelling at your sister

You get 1 sticker when ever you use a polite word like please, thank you, yes mam

When you have 20 stickers by Friday then we can go to.....



I hope that helps, happy happy joy joy :)

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Rebekah - posted on 03/19/2012

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Bring the positive back into discipline - this will work out both of your benefits. Praise her for the things you see that you like - this will encourage her to want to do that more. If she starts to do something that is dangerous, definitely stop her - instead of taking something away, how about a time-in. Sit her down with you, talk about why that is dangerous and how it would make mommy really sad if she got lost or taken away because she left the house and mommy didn't know it. I only do time out for a toy - in other words if a certain toy makes my son misbehave that toy goes to time out and gets reprimanded and will be able to come out and play again some other time - sometimes I make him earn it back. A reward chart is FABulous - especially since you have 3 children that would benefit from it. Check out super nanny's website for some great reward chart ideas. Basically, anytime someone does a behavior that you want, reward that child - when a behavior is done that you don't like, don't reward, follow through with a consequence that you will do "every single" time. When the chart gets full reward with something special - ice cream, stickers, cookies, movie night with popcorn, whatever you can think of.

Kourtney - posted on 03/18/2012

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We do timeout. Started when my girl was 18months, now she is listening 98% of the time (will be 4 in Aug). It was hard at first to keep putting back when she ran out, hearing her cry, etc. but after a week or so she started staying.Going to do it in a year when our second gets a bit bigger

Estelle - posted on 03/17/2012

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My windows is very low, about enkle high from the floor. No i havent tried a reward chart as im not sur how to work it. I come from a house with very stricked parents and i think my problem is that im trying to hard not to be like my parents, but i dont know now to disipline her without being soo stricked... Any tips on how o work the chart????

Katherine - posted on 03/17/2012

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She climbs out the window!? Wow, that's really dangerous. You need to get some control back for sure.



Try a rewards chart with her. It's more positive. Not everyone get's as frustrated and everyone wins. Make sure you never take stickers away or yell at her for bad behavior.

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