Communities

Toddler Moms

All Communities > Toddler Moms > Teaching a 2 year old to stand up for herself.

Teaching a 2 year old to stand up for herself.

Laura - posted on 08/22/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

48

8

My daughter will be 2 in four days. I am wondering if anyone has any advice for how to help my child stand up for herself. She has a heart of gold, and not a mean bone in her body. She gets bullied by other kids constantly. She is not in daycare, but I do try and socialize her. And it seems almost every kid she is around is always mean to her. Like when a child comes up to her and takes her toy she was playing with, she just stands there (sometimes falls to the floor) and cries. Obviously, I don't want to teach her to hit them, (she has NEVER hit another child before) or to be hateful and yank the toy back from them, but I just have no idea how to teach her to stand her ground in these situations. I hate seeing her get bullied all the time, and I feel like I've got to do something to help her! I thought about karate classes (for the confidence aspect) but unfortunately around here they don't start child in karate until 4 years of age. Any advice???

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

1 Comment

View replies by

Jaiy - posted on 08/24/2010

68

5

The problem with that age group is that the majority of the time, the other kids aren't trying to be mean or bully her. They just see the toy, want it, so they take it. Most of the fights kids get into are based more on them trying to make themselves understood and getting frustrated when it doesn't work out the way they want it to.

Example: My son went through a brief phase where he was pushing other kids. he wans't trying to be mean, he just wanted to see what would happen. When he pushed an adult, they didn't fall, but if he pushed someone his age they fell. One boy pushed back, another one cried, and a third one just got up and pretended it hadn't happened. However, once we explained to him that he was hurting people, he got very upset and stopped doing it.

At 2, children are little sponges and they model behavior off what they see and how adults react to it. I'd stay close to your daughter when she's playing and try to intervene before things happen, handling the situation as you want her to handle it. Say "no, she had it first. When she's done, you can play with it." If they give the toy up and let her have it, smile at them and say "thank you." or have her say "thank you." If they start to push or hit gently say "no pushing" or "no hitting" and if you think the other child's behavior is too agressive or too out of line, let the other parents know. It doesn't have to be confrentational. A simple, "I'm wasn't sure if you'd noticed, but..." Because the other parents really might not have noticed the behavior and may be willing to work with you to stop it.

Want to find out the opinions of this community?

Add Poll