Jennifer - posted on 11/03/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )
growing up i was very close to a girl named angela. we went to school together and basically shared families. in highschool we joined different crowds and stopped spending time together. she has recently reappeared in my life, after 5 years of no contact, with a new fiance. i welcomed her back with open arms as did my family.
she and her new fiance had a fight and i stepped in and sent him an email that said to consider this decision seriously. that i would rather see her happy and single than married and miserable. advised him not to tell her about this email to make it seem as if he had figured all this out on his own. i also told him if he ever needed someone to talk to that he could call me - gave her the same offer. he responded with appreciation and gratitude for my love and respect for angela and my overall concern with their happiness.
last week they broke up again and he called at midnight. we talked for an hour about what had been said and done. i offered my wisdom and advice as i do for many of my friends. i advised him that if he wanted to make it work he should start back at grown zero and build the relationship back up. once he was sure there could be a steady and healthy relationship between them to consider marriage. when i got off the phone with him i immedantly called angela, concerned for her emotional state after this rough break-up. told her he had called and that i thought she could use a friend. this was my apparent mistake.
she took my friendship with her fiance to mean that i had ill intentions. (i am happily married to a wonderful man and would never dream of cheating on him not to mention with the fiance of a friend.)
so she has since accused me a taking her fiance away, having an affair with him, and ruining her relationship. mind you they broke up before he called me and we only talked once. her idea of cheating is doing anything with someone of the opposite sex that you would normally do with your spouse/fiance/boy-girl friend and trying to hide it. i never asked him to hide any interactions other than that first email and even then said that if he had already or wanted to tell her that it was fine with me.
now they have both removed me from their friend list on facebook and i have been made out to be the bad guy. the fact that they have since both removed me from their friend list leads me to believe that they are trying to work things out but i do not know. neither of them will have any contact with me.
please lend my your wisdom, insite, and advice concerning this matter for i am lost in the translation. my husband is the only one who will stand my be and say that i did nothing wrong except try to save a realtionship for a friend.