Tips on getting rid of Passy

Arlee - posted on 10/28/2010 ( 35 moms have responded )

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My 23 month daughter is dependent on her passy. I've tried cutting them, poking holes, quitting cold turkey. Nothing works. She just throws a HUGE fit and will NOT go to sleep with out it. HELP!! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

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Andrea - posted on 11/10/2010

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Oh man, I'm sorry but there is nothing worse than seeing a five year old with a passy. My kids kicked the passy after....I don't really know. It was when they were really little. I'd kick the habit asap. The longer you wait I'm sure the harder it will be. I took my kids' bottles away cold turkey. Did they cry, yes. Did they throw fits, yes. Did they have a hard time going to sleep, at first. Did my sleep suffer, yep. But it was way worth it. I just told them that they were big girls now and that babies use bottles. I think that with any kind of change, consistency is key. Don't give up.

Lynn - posted on 11/14/2010

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I know this is probably not going to be a popular response but maybe she's really not ready to do it yet and you should give her more time. We tried many times to get rid of our daughter's and we just finally got rid of it on my daugther''s 4th birthday. Believe me I hated every minute that she had that thing and honestly felt like some sort of failure b/c I couldn't get her to let go of it. But when the 4th birthday started looming ahead of us I told her that she had to get rid of it b/c she was too old and to keep her teeth looking nice. I talked the big day up for weeks and let her decide how she wanted to say goodbye (she chose the Pacifier fairy, which I have to say was awesome b/c in her mind it's not Mommy & Daddy withholding it, we just don't have it to give). We had a few tears the first couple nights and she will ask every once in awhile but always with a grin like she's telling us a big joke. :) I think I dreaded her giving it up more than she did b/c I was so concerned about the tantrums to get it back but it really could not have gone better. The lack of fight she put up really seems to show that she was ready to give it up anyway. So my advice is to let her keep it awhile longer and maybe re-visit every couple months or so. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Rachael - posted on 11/09/2010

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Oh boy. I know this situation. Everyone is different, but for us, we began by only using the paci at night. It could not leave the bed/crib. After about 4 weeks of that, we gave the paci's to the binkie fairy and said bye bye. Zipped up the backpack and away it went. The first three days were hard, but anytime he asked I reminded him we have it to the binkie fairy and we said bye bye. He would say bye bye and need extra rocking but now he's 0k without it. It's so tempting to throw it back in their mouths for some peace but try to resist. good luck! I hope this is helpful

Melissa - posted on 11/05/2010

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Really all u have to do is throw them away. Throw them all out the day the trash man comes. Dont buy any replacements. If there are no passifiers around, u will have no alternative. Your child will be fine :)
The longer u put it off, and let ur little monster win, the worse for everyone. Dont let the monster b in control. YOU are in charge of little monsters .)

Jen - posted on 11/02/2010

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Just take it away ..end of story. After a few days she will get over it.

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Andrew - posted on 11/12/2010

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Well ive told my 2 and 1/2 yr old that she has to give santa her dummys. She was a bit stubborn at first saying no she wasnt giving santa her dummys but after a couple of weeks shes come round to the idea of no dummys, i know im setting myself up a tantrum on xmas eve but i assume she wont ask for it after santa has been as she thinks hes going to take them, her nursery have been great with this idea and are even going to have the santa in the nursery take a spare dummy from her to get her gift!!! good luck with it

Ann

Meredith - posted on 11/11/2010

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Its a rough road. We didn't get my daughter off till after she was 2. Finally one day I hid them all while she was sleeping. Then everytime she asked for one I told we didn't have any and that they were yucky. She would whine a bit and sometimes cry. It took a few weeks and then she just stopped asking for it. We also tried not to mention the word in front of her.

Christina - posted on 11/11/2010

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I also threw them all away so that I would not be tempted to give in to her demands. If you are ready for them to be gone then i would recomend just throwing them away for your good:)

Christina - posted on 11/11/2010

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I personally just took them away and with in a couple of days she was completely over it, and did not need it any more. That first day is hard, but if you get through it, it is so worth it:) Mine threw a fit at bed time also, but I stood my ground and told her to go to bed. I was loving while doing this, but your child needs to know that you are in charge and she is not. You have to be stronge enough to put up with the fits for a couple of days, and she will realize that she does not need them.

Adrianna - posted on 11/10/2010

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Aj was 2 yrs old and my husband and i decided 2 just take it but everytime my husband was gone i kept sneaky it too him and finally we just took it and he cried for 3 days but eventually he forgot about it they say it usually takes 2 weeks some kids shorter u just have 2 do it

Nicole - posted on 11/10/2010

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My daughter only used them at night, and nap (and sometimes long drives). She was about 2- 21/2 when we got rid of them. She threw a fit when she knew we still had them around. We tried the whole "you're a big girl, try going to bed without it" - and that didn't go over well. So after a couple trials and failures with that her and I put them in an envelope and put on the front "To: a baby that needs one" she helped me put it in the mailbox and put the flag up (when she wasn't looking I went out and got it before the mailman came). And from then on whenever she asked for it I'd say remember we gave it to a baby that needs one. And she understood it was no longer there and it was the mailman's fault for taking it, and not mine! :) She still struggled a couple nights, but not as much as I would have expected. That's what worked for me, hope it helps.

[deleted account]

We limited his paci / binky to sleep times only.

Around 19 months, they were looking tired, so I replaced them all. The new ones were a slightly different colour than the old ones, and had that "new" taste to boot. He took one, tried it, and said no. I asked if he was sure, and he nodded yes. I offered the new ones again at the next nap, and he didn't want it. I was super worried about whether or not he would fall asleep at night without them. We had a week of restless nights, where it would take him over an hour to fall asleep. We compensated and gave him a few additional "friends" to hug to sleep instead - an extra teddy bear or two.

Good luck!

Tara - posted on 11/09/2010

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Hi Arlee, I have a 24month old daughter who was very attached to her paci. A week after her second birthday my husband and i decided it had to go. She was getting very attached and we needed to get rid of it before it got worse. She only got it at bedtime and naptime and wouldnt sleep without it. She would wake in the middle of the night and start crying because she couldnt find it. It was getting exhausting.
So we chose a friday night which we were going to take it away and we did. After bathtime i had her walk around the house and her room and find all of her paci's. Everytime she found one I would ask her to take it to the trash ( every one she had to suck on one last time before throwing it in). Then she would throw it away and go look for more until we found them all. When bedtime came I and she asked for it I reminded her that paci was trash now. I had to go back in there and remind her several times but she finally fell asleep. It took about 2 weeks before she stopped asking for it. Now she sleep through the night without waking and no longer asks for it. I tried cutting them and poking hole too. Neither of those worked. Hope this helps you. Keep in mind you have to give it about 2 weeks and I know it seems like a long time but trust me it is so nice now that it is over. Good luck

Nicole - posted on 11/08/2010

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i wish i was able to offer my advice here but i wouldnt know how. my son who turned two in august, stopped taking the paci at like 3months old, we dont know what it was, but everytime we gave it to him he gagged himself and wouldnt take it, so we washed it off and tried again. and again he gagged himself, so from then on he wouldnt take it.

[deleted account]

I haven't read the other replies, so I'm sorry if I repeat, but this is what we are doing. Our youngest is turning 2 in Februsary, so waht I have done is I only let her have her paci if she goes to bed. In the morning it gets left in her bed and she gets it when she goes down for nap and bed at night. If she wants it in between those times, she has to get into bed. We're on day 4 and yesterday was the first day she didn't crawl into bed to suck on her paci. She basically ignored it all day! Today was the same and I am being optomisticaly hopeful! :)

Good luck!

DEANNA - posted on 11/08/2010

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just take if from her if she crys it'll be ok cause my oldest had a fit but i didnt give in so dont give yes the crying will get on ur nevre but dont give in

Karen - posted on 11/08/2010

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oh yeah, my kids also had loveys (those doll/blanket thingies), so she got to keep that (in the bed only) for her comfort item.

Karen - posted on 11/08/2010

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Start out by just having ONE paci that stays in the bed/crib. No having it anywhere else. My 22mo old daughter "sneaks" it out of bed sometimes, but I tell her to put it back and she does. Then, when you are both ready, (talk it up for a few months first), let HER BE A PART of giving it up--any of these will work: trade for a new toy, give to another baby, put it under the pillow for the paci fairy, ....



For my first daughter, leading up to her 3rd bday I knew she was ready, so SHE GOT TO CHOOSE a baby to give her paci to (we knew a few people with babies or pregnant). On the morning after her bday we pulled out wrapping tissue and SHE wrapped it up and put it in a gift bag. She only ever asked for it again once or twice ever and it was no big deal. Oh yeah, when she went from 2 to 1 pacis, we gave away the old ones (same way--gift) and got her a new *special* one (it was all fancy with a kitty cat picture on it) that was just for her bed.



BTW, since you've tried before, give in for a while and let her be happy with it...she is still young. Then when you do tackle the issue again, be FIRM--she has seen you take them away before and she got them back, so be STRONG mommy! Hopefully it will only last a few nights, tops.

Heidi - posted on 11/06/2010

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my little girl was 2 1/2 when i started taking it away during the day. by 3 she hand the pacifier to and she said dont need it. my youngest never would take one but then he was breast feed.

Lauren - posted on 11/06/2010

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Just throw them away, and DON'T look back. do not give in. it's the same as with the bottle. my first daughter LOVED her bottle but one day I was just got sick of washing all those parts and thought 18 months was a good time for her to move on to the cup. I just took her over to the trash and we threw them away, we then took the trash bag out to the trash can outside and said "bye bye" then when she started to whine for it I just told her "we threw them away, no more, all gone!" then handed her a cup. you could try replacing it with something else like a blanket or soft toy. Yes, there will be screaming and tears but i GUARANTEE it will soon pass. don't give up, and don't even mention the word "passy"

when I see a three year old child with a pacifier in her mouth ::shakes head:: I automatically think poorly of the parents. if you can't take control now, I feel sorry for them when the reach the teen years.

Sarah - posted on 11/05/2010

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My daughter was about 2 when I got rid of her pacifier, she was sooo attached to it and had to have it every time she went to sleep. I started off not giving her the pacifier before bed at night, cold turkey, she would cry for a bit, but she would calm down and go to sleep without it if she woke up during the night I would give it to her, and she would have her pacifier at nap time. I did that for about a week, then the next week, if she woke up in the middle of the night I wouldnt give the pacifier to her, and I did that for a couple of weeks and let her get used to sleeping through the night without the pacifier (she would still have it at nap time). Then I just put her down for her nap and didn't give her the pacifier and she went to bed just fine, I hope this helps!

Tanya - posted on 11/04/2010

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first i took it down to naps and nighttime. the first week was a little rough during the day, but he got over it. when she wakes up, just say "okay, let me have your paci...you don't need it during the day." then, after a few days, my son just started automatically handing it to me when i went in to get him up. after about a month or so, i noticed he wasn't even sucking on it when i went in, so i just told him one day at nap "you're a big boy now, you don't need it." he whined a little for the first day or two, but then it was over! good luck! and weening doesn't help and you just have to go cold turkey, it'll be over in a week!

Jasmine - posted on 11/04/2010

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i got my daughter off at about 1 and a half
i just took it off her and never gave it back
and she cryed didnt sleep u
just have to keep strong and not give
in as hard as it may seem but it need to be done
nothing worse than a 4yr old child walking around with a dummy

Hesti - posted on 11/03/2010

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You've tried and didn't follow through... sorry to say but thats probably where you went wrong, our kids are really too quick to learn to make that mistake. My daughter was also very dependant on hers and her being the youngest probably had me feel more sorry for her and letting her keep it longer than necessary... when she was about 2 I made the 'only at bed and nap time' - rule and eventually when she was 3 I realized that its ridiculous to let her keep on using it. One evening I cut the front part off and told her unfortunately it happened in the dishwasher and she put it in her mouth a little bit but didn't like it and just took it to bed with her, also threw a huge fit and refused to sleep, but lets face it, how long can they actually keep that up? You are the adult and need to remain in control of the situation, which I chose to do with lots of extra hugs and cuddles and encouragement. Took 2 nights of tantrums and about a week after another fit about wanting it back and then she got over it. She does sleep with a special blanket and a soft toy, so that can also help to soothe things over.
I think the most important thing however is to follow through once you made the decision. Enduring the tantrums are tough but necessary. I love Renee and Remy's suggestions as well, it helps to have an event on hand to distract them. Maybe give up your efforts for a month or so - whilst still talking about it being time to give up the paci and how she's become mommy's big girl and boosting her for big girl accomplishments, then use Christmas (if you celebrate it) as a distracting event.
It was hard but it really is worth the effort, when faced with these issues I try to keep reminding myself that my job as her parent is first to do whats best for her and not necessarily to do everything to keep her happy.
Good luck!

Amber - posted on 11/02/2010

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my daughter just turned 3 and i told her she had to get rid of them> so i made her actually throw them all away herself and it was so funny cause each one she had to get one last use out of it then she just tossed it. her first night was rough but i just let her pitch her fit and kept telling her she is not getting it back and here we are on day 5 and we havent heard a word about it she is doing great

Delia - posted on 11/02/2010

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U need to be patient...My son is 3 and only been off his for like 3 weeks now
it was hard...but it will come to an end...u just have to pay special attention to the signs. My boy has recently started potting over night and since then ....he has become more grownup...thats when i saw the opportunity, he threw fits...once or twice.....but i stuck it out...was HARD!!!!!!!!!! but now.....its guud...was all for the gr8ter guud! trust me ur patience is gonne be put to the test soooo bad!

Tine - posted on 11/02/2010

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My daughter still breastfeeds to sleep at nearly 2, and will do until she is ready to leave this need behind. This simple fact is why your daughter still needs her dummy - toddlers are innately programmed to have a comfort sucking need. It truly is a need, and to use sneaky methods to try to 'wean' them off either the breast or whatever they use as a substitute is just not a great option, because the need is still there. She will grow out of it if you just give her time. Try giving her lots and lots of loving attention, especially at bedtime. Try hugging her to sleep, so her need foor comfort and reassurance is met. I really think that if you use tricks to get rid of the pacifier then her need for comfort sucking will resurface in another shape, perhaps as thumb sucking, or another habit, or as emotional neediness in another form.

Anne - posted on 11/01/2010

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We just took them away...every single one of them. We had crying fits for 3 nights then after that there were no problems. You have to be consistant. She has probably learnt now that if she screams and cries hard enough and long enough when you do take them away, that you will eventually give them back. Be strong! Be consistant and don't give them back. She will cope. Has she got a favourite bed time doll or toy she could focus on instead? Maybe that might help...

Merri - posted on 10/31/2010

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Our son gave his away to santa last year..he traded it for a new train set. He got to pick one thing that santa would definalty bring and in exchange we left his binky out right next to the cookies we left for santa. He woke up a couple of time that night and we went over that santa came and took it but left toys. When he got up in the morning his new toys distracted him then when he wanted it again we just went over how he had new toys and santa took the binky..it was a couple of days but soon enough he was fine

Kristi - posted on 10/31/2010

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With my son, we told him that there was a "binky fairy" (we obviously called the paci "binky" lol) that came around to all little boys and girls that didn't need their binkies anymore and took them to the little babies that did need them but couldn't buy them. I made it work kind of like the tooth fairy. We took all of his binkies and put them in a grocery bag, then hung them from a tree in our back yard for the binky fairy to come get. The next morning, in the bag in the tree, three were a few "big boy" toys waiting on him, and a thank you note from the binky fairy. He was proud of himself because he felt like he was helping less fortunate children; and the toys in the binky's place was also a big help. Good luck!

Jody - posted on 10/30/2010

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My daughter was hooked on hers but I just took it away and she never got it back. She threw her fits and cried for it but I never gave it back. the fits are hard to handle but they will stop. I just kept telling her she was a big girl and didnt need one anymore.

Remy - posted on 10/30/2010

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My son was attached to his. We had to have one in each room, I had one in each of my purses and at all his granparents houses. If we got caught without it we literally had hell to pay.lol. one night i had a talk with him. I told him that there were little babies all over the world who really needed passies and that he was beginning to be a big boy and didnt need it antmore. he was almost two. so i got him to agree that when he had his second birthday, if he wanted cake and icecream and gifts he had to give his passies awy to the needy little babies. so on his birthday we put all his passies in a big envelope and we walked to th corner, on the way i reminded him of our agreement and i let him close the envelope and hw put it in the mailbox to send it to the other babies.(smile)...it worked. Every time he started to get crazy we had a talk about his birthday, the cake , the gifts and he was ok.before night hit everybody that came over, when daddy got home, when he saw his sisters, we told them how much of a big boy he was to send his passies to the babies...he actually felt good about it..he was proud and that was it.

[deleted account]

hide them all! i took nat's paci away from her so she would start talking which has not helped but she babbles a lot more instead of sitting around with it in her mouth. i take it away from everything BUT nap and bedtimes. she can still have the pleasure of having it but not during awake hours.... i finally got passed all the fits i take it away in the morning and she cries and whines and i just let her til she forgets about it. if she sees one i hide it. if she finds one i take it and hide that one too. its all about getting passed the dependance on the paci. i dont know about taking it away with bedtime cause my daughter will not sleep without it. try taking it away slowly.

[deleted account]

This is how I solved this problem in the past. I put the passy in a place they couldn't see it, but they knew it was there. I would encourage them to try not to use it, but if they insisted I would get it out for them and they could have it. I would wait until we were doing something that would help keep their mind off the passy and put it away in the same spot. After doing that for a couple of weeks, they see they still have control over their passy, and calm down over the issue. After that point I would then encourage them to lay down without it, but if they needed it, I would go get it for them. After doing that for a week or more, they start to go longer without needing the passy when laying down. Over time and with encouragment they do eventually stop asking for the passy. It doesn't help if they see others with passies during this process, they tend to get gelous, but never acted on it or asked for their's. This is how I have weaned many children at 2 yrs old off of passies and bottles. I used to keep up to ten 2yr olds for a living.

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