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Visitation Rights For My 2 Year Old

Nicole - posted on 12/07/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My ex and I went to court and the court has ordered him to pay child support. He was highly upset so he decided to file a motion saying that I do not let him see our child. There was an instance where I did not let him take her but only because hise father asked that I not take her to his house.

I've ALWAYS let him get her except for those two times. When he texted me about it, I said the reason she couldnt go was because he was handling his responsibilities like a man (financially) and that he needed to step up to the plate before he can see her. I know it was wrong to say that but I was fed up (because he wasn't helping AT ALL).

Anyway, I said all this to say, can I go to jail for those two incidents that I did not let him get her? And also, I NEVER said he couldn't see her, I said he couldn't pick her up. I offered him to come to my house or I offered him to meet me somewhere neutral for him to see her so I never kept him AWAY from her.

With him filing that motion they surely can't throw me in jail?? Especially since he was ordered to pay child support for over a year and he never paid and they didn't lock him up. I'm in the state of Virginia, if that helps. Thanks!

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Nicole - posted on 12/08/2011

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Thanks Teresa! I am all for my daughter :-)

Teresa - posted on 12/07/2011

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I think a visitation schedule in writing is a great idea. Nothing wrong w/ going against the schedule occasionally as long as you both agree, but something set in writing gives you both protection.

The only time I 'withheld' my kids from my ex was when our visitation schedule stated that I would allow 'reasonable visitation'. Well, I asked my kids counselor AND legal aid if what I was doing seemed reasonable and they both agreed, but my ex tried to use that against me. Didn't work, but that's when we the judge came up w/ more specific visitations.

Hang in there!!

Nicole - posted on 12/07/2011

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Thanks Jenni and Teresa. We now have visitation set up where both parties agree apon when she goes with him so I filed for visitation to be spelled out, that way he can't take me to court and just SAY I didn't allow him to see her. If it's spelled out that he is to get her...this day, this day and this day I will be covered but as of now it's only ordered that we agree apon when she goes with him.

Thanks again ladies!

Teresa - posted on 12/07/2011

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I don't know the specific laws in Virginia, but they won't throw you in jail for just those 2 times. They will probably set up a visitation schedule if he doesn't already have one. You can not withhold access just because he doesn't pay though. Child support and visitation are (in most places, at least) two entirely seperate issues. I know it's a very frustrating situation.

Jenni - posted on 12/07/2011

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I highly doubt it. I have never heard of anyone going to jail for denying visitations. Does he currently have court ordered scheduled visitations, or rather during the you denied him?

Really, he's just wasting his and your time and money (if you have lawyers). At least in my region there is little that can be done to force one parent to allow access, let alone send them to jail for denying access on two occasions.

But I wouldn't deny him for anything that is between the two of you in the future, ie: child support arrangements. The courts tend to favour the relationship between child and parents over monetary payments. Impeding that relationship for any reason short of abuse is not looked favourably upon by the courts. And IF at any point he tries to file for custody it can be held against you if you continually deny access.

There are certain extenuating circumstances when you can with hold a visitation. They're usually delineated in your court papers. Like the child being ill.

Like I said, it's unheard of for a parent to be thrown in jail for denying access. (Especially since it only happened two times, the notion that they would imprison someone for that is a bit out there). I have heard of parents being thrown in jail for not paying child support however.

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