What am I supposed to say to my 3yr old when he says

Laura - posted on 06/03/2012

N OTHING...just wondered why you called it MAN-hood,,," IT IS LITTLE-BOY HOOD, yes? well,i am a mom of 7,and a Naturopathic Dr.,and child and family counsellor.,,,,,,,.but just as a caring mom,i say,that .

We must not project adult sexuallity onto innocent little kids,,,they have no awareness of that,,,,,,things as erections and handling-feeling is just because we all have nerves,,,some one TOLD us that feeling good is BAD,,,but when you really think about it,,,makes no sense at all,,,it is just the ugly.nutsy, nasty programming or our still Victorian social paradigm,

....that we moms need to UN-BURDEN OUR-SELVES of that ignorant load,,,,and lets not repeat the ignorance of our parents and grandparents,,

.....,and with the new EYE of true perspective and understanding...see the beauty of creation,and the beauty IN our children....kids need to be treated with respect,and allowed to be creative and FREE,yes?,,

.......so,telling them that some of their body parts are nasty and UN-acceptable, saddles them with GREAT ANXIETY shame, and guilt that they may carry the rest of their lives,,,,so why don't we moms tell them that such is normal and natural,and to NEVER be ashamed...?

June - posted on 08/07/2010

I tell my son If he doesnt stop playing it will fall off lol so far its working. Try that my luv xxx

Nancy - posted on 08/06/2010

It is a natural thing for them to explore. My daughter still does it and I just tell her not o give herself any boo boo's. I was told once to tell them to stop and what not can give them a complex about it. I dont know if that is true but I didnt want to take a chance. It is normal so I wouldnt worry about it too much.

Vegemite - posted on 08/05/2010

It's not just a sexual thing and figuring himself out it's also a natural part of hygiene and should be encouraged when he is in the bath. It is also natures way of slowly separating the foreskin from the head of the penis if he hasn't been circumcised. It's normal and have told my boy it's only to be done in the bath or while he's alone

Kristin - posted on 08/05/2010

i wouldnt worry about it so much, I think they are curious and its normal...wouldnt you touch it if you had something hanging off you? lol. Hes still figuring himself out. If hes still doing it while hes dressed i would just let him know thats for when hes alone but do it in a way that doesnt make him feel ashamed.

Carina - posted on 08/05/2010

i agree with most the other posts. it is a natural thing and you shouldn't stop them or tell them that it is bad, just let them know that it is a private thing that you should only do in your room. My daughter will be 4 in a month and she touches herself right now too. i just let her know to do that in her room. it's just a phase in life that all kids go through and they will stop. so don't worry about it.

Lisa - posted on 08/05/2010

Be honest. Tell him that you know it feels good, but that is something that is done in private, not in front of others. My daughter will touch herself and while she doesn't do it in public, she will do it in the bathtub or when using the potty chair. We remind her that is something she is done in private.

Emma - posted on 08/04/2010

i just try to ignore it they soon stop!

Sally - posted on 08/04/2010

My daughter is doing the same since she has started wearing panties and not pull ups. My older daughter never did it at all. My other daughter complains about her doing it. I am not sure how to handle it either.

Amanda - posted on 08/04/2010

yeah I just told him if you want to touch it go to your room or the bathroom and do it in private other then that just remind him if you see him doing it. ignore it while he's in the bath because generally that's a private session and maybe even use it as an opportunity to tell him only you are allowed to touch your privates if anyone else touches you you come tell mummy or daddy. thats what I did with my boys.

Wendy - posted on 08/04/2010

I have 3 boys. This is very normal. I have to remind my 6 year old frequently that he needs to go into his room by himself if he wants to do that. Sometimes it's literally just something for him to fidget with; but in any case, I have no problems with it as long as it's done in private in his room.

Maggie - posted on 08/04/2010

I've told both my boys that it's ok to touch and explore in their room or the bathroom where they have privacy. It's not polite to play with their (insert whatever word you use for it here) in front of other people.

Selinna - posted on 08/04/2010

My daughter is 3, and she does the same thing. We have taught her, that it's a private thing, that she's only aloud to do that in her room. Plus, reminding her to wash her hands!

Karen - posted on 08/03/2010

I am just leaving it and not making a big deal of it at this stage. Sometimes if I feel he is getting a bit carried away I 'll say something like 'you'll break your winkie off if you keep playing with it' and he laughs his head off. I don't want to make him too aware sexually by making an issue of it - I have seen that create over-awareness of sexual differences in young boys and am trying to avoid having to give him too much information before I feel he is emotionally ready for it.

Nicole - posted on 08/03/2010

Your new catch phrase should be "Touching private parts is for private spaces"
Private spaces = his own room in bed and the bathroom (including in the tub).

There is nothing wrong with his interest. This is very normal developmental behaviour. Now you just need to help him learn when it is appropriate and not appropriate to explore himself.

Kymberli - posted on 08/03/2010

It doesn't bother me to see my son playing with his wienie but I do think, if he is at school or someone elses home they may not like it. Hopefully it won't extend outside the home but encouraging him to do it in private is probably best.

Maggie - posted on 08/03/2010

It's a completly natural thing to do. As long as he's not exposing himself then you don't really need to do anything about it. If it makes you or other people uncomfortable then I'd have to agree with some of the other moms and tell him to do that in his room or the bathroom.

Kymberli - posted on 08/03/2010

I have three boys and one girl and they have all done it. My oldest is 14 yrs (boy) and my youngest is 3 yrs (girl). Once the diaper was gone they all seemed to find something that they forgot about (at least until it was bath time). The older boys grew out of the touching. I do have a 5.5 yr old (boy) that does it some but since he hasn't gotten older he hasn't done it as much. I think they are just proud of what they can do to it too. My son told me once with a huge smile on his face" Look at my wienie" I asked him if he had to go potty, he said no, then I said he could do that in his room. We don't want to see your wienie. He would stop because he didn't want to go in his room. Never as a punishment, just for privacy. Usually I found him playing with it while watching TV. His hands weren't doing anything else, LOL. My daughter doesn't touch as much unless she is naked but she talks about hers a lot. Just as a reference that she has a vagina, so she is a girl. She is the only girl so maybe she figures she might grow one of those "things".

ANIA - posted on 08/03/2010

I have 2.5 year old girl who also in exploring her girl parts. I also tell her to do it in private. You don't want to scold him, it could have bad results later on. It is very natural for kids to explore and compare. There is no sexuality in it the way we see it.

Quilty - posted on 08/02/2010

I told my son that I knew that it felt good to touch his penis, but that it was private thing, and not to do it in front of other people.

Jodi-ann - posted on 08/02/2010

I think maybe its just a phase because they get an erection so easily and also just out of curiosity...i have a girl but my nephew use to do that...

Eronne - posted on 08/02/2010

My gosh, let him enjoy it. There is absolutely nothing, short of really messing him up, that you can do to stop it. And really why would you. It's his body, he's experimenting and it feels good. By all means explain to him that it is private and he shouldn't touch himself in front of other people but in his room or his bath....you want him to grow up to be a normal guy. They all do it..3, 33, or 73 - guys are all fascinated with their plumbing.

JADE - posted on 08/02/2010

That is very normal, actually. My daughter kept doing that when i remove the daiper, but i kept telling her firmly that she's not allowed to do that and i even slapped her hand a few times, and she actually stopped doing it. I don't know if that was the right way going about it, but it made her stop. She even says herself, "Don't touch it, Mommy, don't touch my "snuifie." I guess people deal differently with that phase, but like i said in a previous post, they do outgrow these phases. Not that men ever stopped fondling their jewels in public, hehehe! Good luck and take care!

Tricia - posted on 08/01/2010

I agree with everyone else........it's natural for children to be curious about themselves. We tell our 2 yr old the same thing.....if you want to touch it do it when you are alone and make sure you wash you hands.......we don't want potty germs all over the house. She gets it for the most part sometimes we will catch her and in those cases we take her to wash her hands and tell her only when your alone we don't want to see your "hoo-hoo" as we call it.

Jennifer - posted on 08/01/2010

My 3 year old does the same thing. I have been telling him that it a very private thing to do and we don't do it in places where people can see us. I usually tell him to wait until he is alone.

Teresa - posted on 08/01/2010

Just tell him it's only to do in private and to wash his hands so he doesn't spread pee germs everywhere.

Jane - posted on 08/01/2010

tell him it's something he does when he's alone. all kids are aware of themselves early and enjoy the physical feeling of themselves as does anyone. they're no different than us, they just need some guidelines on where is appropriate.

i went thru numerous highchairs for our oldest daughter until i could find one that she can't grind against - the only reason it bothered me is b/c she wouldn't eat her meals, she spent her time grinding instead. she still grinds in her carseat. as our pediatrician said, "well, if you could do it all day, wouldn't you?" lol!

Amanda - posted on 08/01/2010

Why can he only touch his penis only when he is going potty? Why not teach him that it is a perfectly normal thing to touch ones self, but to do it in his bedroom? That this time is only for private time. Teaching him its wrong to touch oneself except when pee'ing can cause major sexual issues later in life. I know its a long way away from that, but dont you want your son to have a very good sexual view of his own body. There is should be no shame when it comes to body parts, for both boys and girls.

Carisa - posted on 08/01/2010

I only have girls, but my sisters both have boys. They taught them that it was okay to touch themselves, but it was a private thing to do and he should only do it in his bedroom when he is alone.