what can i do in court to win my custody battle?! i have done everything possible.

Jessie - posted on 04/18/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I "lost" my first hearing (judge only). They found my son better suited w/his father. I couldn't believe it. I still don't. He is almost 9mths old now. At that time he was only 3mths old! This is the baby I fought tooth and nail to keep alive and healthy during my whole pregnancy, while he went out and cheated (and caught an std) btw. He did everything but support me during my pregnancy...I never asked for a thing from him! Then one day as I am leaving the baby's follow up dr appt...I was served w/papers from his "dad"! I couldn't believe what was happening, and I had to show up in court one week later and fight for my son! I lost (due to poor representation). I'm a wonderful mother. I'm a hardworker. I'm a loving wife (now), at the time of court I was engaged. I filed an appeal immediately. Now we have a trial by a jury and I'm hoping that the verdict gets overturned. PLEASE someone give me some advise. Are my chances good this time? I cannot think what my life will be like if he is awarded custody for good. My baby boy isn't even 1yr old yet! He is my pride and joy. He is my life. He is the only thing that brings me peace when life is so cruel. I don't touch drugs...never have. Im not an alcoholic. I'm not knocking anyone who has recovered and lost their kids due to a drug/alcohol addiction, but for Pete's sake here...I honestly didn't do anything wrong. I went to court as a single mom...engaged to a guy who was not my child's father. I wasn't working...hell, I was still on maternity leave!!! They awarded him custody of my infant son and ordered me to pay him child support! He is now on his 7th girlfriend since court...all of his women have held and cuddled my son (trying to be the soon to be stepmom type). His own 10yr old daughter has seen every one of the women and has witnessed her own father have them stay the night. He does this with my son there too. It pisses me off so bad, because for some reason the judge must have hated my attorney...but she took my son from me and put him in this environment! My husband works for the federal government in law enforcement. He is a VERY good judge of character and would never have married me had he not think that I'm not only a good mother to my son, but a wonderful mother to his son as well. I was the one who potty-trained him. I'm the one who puts him to bed at night next to me after 8 back to back episodes of spongebob. I'm the one who bathes him in grape bubble bath with my son on my hip b/c he refuses to take a bath if he thinks the baby is sleeping. Those are my boys. They are my world...I feel so lost now. I can't think, eat, sleep, or work. I just had back surgery and I can't even remember to take my meds b/c the only thing on my brain is "what do I do next to win my son". I don't even remember the last time my husband and I had a conversation that didn't revolve around the court case only. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. His first word is "mama", he just learned to crawl this week! And just an fyi...the babysitter is someone of horrific judgement. Her own daughter was molested, and she forgave the man who did it...and not only that, she allows that monster in her home! This is the woman who watches my baby. This is the woman that the court allowed to keep him more hours in the day than his own mother! I could understand if I had a questionable past...but I'm just a normal woman, who made a bad call, slept w/a guy, decided to keep my baby...and in the end...did I get a reward, or even a simple thank you from the jerk? nope...I got served with papers while he planned a scheme behind my back for 3 months. All the while, I was still trying to be his friend. He kicked me and his newborn son out. He drove us to my car at the walmart parking lot when I was discharged from the hospital. I drove to my best friend's house with our baby...he left us with NOTHING but the clothes on our back! Not even a damn pamper! My sis took us in...and as I tried getting my life on track so my son and I could make it in this world...this man who is way too fortunate to be his father stabbed my open wounds and took my son, because he had way too much money to lose and didn't want to get "stuck" paying child support. I never asked him for anything...I don't know what to do in June. My case is coming up, and it's my chance to shine. Will someone give me some helpful advice? I have hired expensive attorneys, and all the works...I need some "real" advice from "real" moms and anyone with a heart who may know what I'm going through...I'm not a number...I'm my son's mommy, and his livelyhood rests in society's hands and I feel hopeless at times.

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Michelle - posted on 04/18/2010

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first of all, a good lawyer is a start make sure you are all on the same page with what you want. Second the fact that you are now married will be in your favor as they like to keep kids in two parent households and siblings together. Make sure your lawyer knows about all the girlfriends and the circumstances surrounding the child care the more ammo your lawyer has the better prepared they can be. good luck to you

Heather - posted on 04/18/2010

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Have you asked people to come in and testify on your behalf.Where is the friend that took you in when he kicked you out? Have you documentated every single thing down to he smallest rash and I know this may be going as low ashe has but has he left any ex who would be willing to testify on your behalf about the women coming and going in his life.If he judge is good they will see that with all the women in his life it is a very unstable enviroment for your son I dont have much advice but I hope that this helps you out even if its just a little bit

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