What made you decide whether or not to have a third child?

Rene - posted on 08/17/2010 ( 57 moms have responded )

13

14

1

I am really struggling with this. I have two boys ages 2 and 8 and I would like to have one more in some ways, but do not want anymore in other ways. I just want to know what was the factor in making your decision final to have more or not. Thank you in advance, I think your perspective may clear some things up for me!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Maggie - posted on 08/27/2010

818

24

47

having a baby just because you might regret NOT having one is a silly reason to bring a human person into the world. As you already know kids are hard work, they require constant attention for at LEAST a year. They're expensive - even if you have another boy and can use the handed down clothes and toys there's still school costs, food costs, any extracurricular classes or activities. There's the cost of splitting your time between the three children instead of two, the loss of sleep, and starting over at the very beginning.
My main reason was not wanting to start over at the beginning. Sure, babies are cuddly and soft and they smell so nice BUT they also need you to do everything for them. My kids have just gotten to the age where they're FUN - they talk and walk and play and have their own ideas. It might be a "selfish" reason but do you really want to give up every free moment you have (and some you don't!) just so you won't regret not having another baby? Do you want your (current) children to have to deal with you using most of your time to care for a newborn?
This might not be a pretty comment but think about it - it's the truth.

Mary - posted on 09/04/2010

1

15

0

I think my decision on having a 3rd child wasn't tough to think about. I guess because of our life style, and our personalities. When my husband and I make love we pray before we made love and if it was god's will than let it be. I love all my children. You will see if you choose to have a 3rd child, he or she will be different from the others. Only moms and dads know which child is good at this and that. and what their weaknesses are too. But it I do realize it looks like its a big decision you cant take back. So listen to your heart. What does it feel when you think of another child. If its finances that you worry about. Trust me there will always be enough for the 3rd child. Just be true to yourself and come into agreement with your husband. I bet whatever you decide it will be the best for you and your family. Children do bring happiness to your lives and they keep you young.

Kathleen - posted on 08/20/2010

138

4

21

This is obviously a very personal decision. We have five children (20, 17, 5, 3, and 2). Yes they all have the same father. I can honestly say that the younger 3 are more than I bargained for at times BUT I would not trade them for the world.
Yes, the noise level can be deafening.
Yes, they fight over who gets to do what and how often they get to do it
Yes, three cost a bit more...and I mean a bit.
I have learned to look for resale shops for baby clothes. I go to garage sales. I accept clothes out grown by my nieces and nephews.
I cook all our meals. I do not buy processed foods as these are expensive. We seldom go out to eat.
I am currently struggling with potty training the younger two but will get it done so diapers/pull-ups are still a big expense.
Regarding the hotel thing - when they say four they mean four adults - until the kids are over 12 they don't even count. We have never been charged extra and always ask for crib and fold-away bed and extra towles and soaps....
Middle child syndrome is only bad if you allow the middle child to make it so.
I am rambling.....I think what I am trying to say is that you need to decide what your goals are as a family. All children are a blessing from God. To have more is to accept a gift that keeps on giving. Just remember that even the best gifts require continued maintenance. This should not keep you from having more but will help you to enter into the decision with a better sense of what you are getting into.

Maggie - posted on 08/12/2012

818

24

47

Congratulations! We also ended up having a third. She was NOT planned and it was a huge shock. We now have two boys and a girl. While I did not want a third child (my first comment 2 years ago said as much) I love this baby so much and she has brought my husband and I closer than ever. It is very hard to start over with a baby, though. My boys are six and four this year! I hope your pregnancy is an easy one and that your baby is healthy!

Pauline - posted on 07/09/2012

3

0

0

i am expecting my second daughter and couldnt imagine doing it another time. i mean i am so excited to have another but both my hubby and I agree two is the right number for us. the financial burden alone is enough for us to make this decision but also taking care of three young children seems like it would be way too stressful for us.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

57 Comments

View replies by

Laura - posted on 08/28/2012

11

40

1

I am the same way!!! I have a medical condition so I will be having a hysterectomy in a 1-3 years. So I have to decide here pretty fast. I know that if I give away all the baby stuff I will not go back to it. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a almost 1 year old. I know they will all be close in age (not a bad thing) but it also makes it a lot harder too..

Megan - posted on 07/09/2012

52

1

8

My husband and I have decided no more children after our 2nd mostly because I also have two step daughters and four is a huge task, even when two of them do not live here fulltime. I also had a terrible time during my last pregnancy and pretty sure my body would not be able to handle another one. Im sure as my daughter gets bigger I will still think about another one. I had one sister when I was growing up and we have always been pretty close. My husband on the other hand has a brother and a sister and they barely talk to one another. Not saying this is always the case thats just how it was in our families. Now I am raising my nephew so we ended up with a 3rd baby anyhow lol by the way three carseats will also fit in my pt cruiser

Rene - posted on 07/09/2012

13

14

1

Thank all you guys, so many good responses! Well my husband and I debated about this for a while and he finally said that he was not willing to get "fixed" and lets just see what happens. Well a few months later, I got pregnant! We are expecting our third beg. of Feb, so I am 10 weeks along! Very happy this happened, as long as this baby is healthy I am for sure done having children and feel very good about that. I just knew that there was another person I had to meet to complete our family. I just wanted to give you all an update :)

Jacqueline - posted on 07/08/2012

9

26

0

For me, this was always a very easy question to answer. I felt that if I could not say with all my heart...we are done.... than i wasnt fulfilled yet. After 4 children my husband said no more but then agreed that if we did nothing to encourage getting pregnant, ex. fertility like we always needed, and it just happened naturally, then it was Gods will and meant to be. When my eldest was 10, I also had a 9 year old and 5 year old twins.....we got pregnant one more time. Then in my heart and because of my age and health..... I knew that we were done. And its funny to be answering this question, its so timely because just the other day I had to have a hysterectomy, so my time for bearing children has come to an end, but I am happy even though it does of course feel a little bittersweet. Good luck in your decision. Sometimes the best thing to do, is just see what happens. Jacqueline

Aimee - posted on 07/06/2012

2

34

0

I am having the same problem. I have an 11 and 4 yr old, both boys. I would really love to have a girl, but my husband thinks hes done. This is all great advice. Its definalty helping me figure out my final decision.

Pam - posted on 09/01/2010

9

16

1

I have 3 kids, girl 5 boy 21/2 and girl 6 mo! I LOVE IT! My third was a huge surprise after 2 fertility babies and I cannot tell you the joy I have in my heart havign 3 beautiful kids, yes, you often endup drivng a van but so whatI rock it out baby! Yes, sometimes it's tough splitting your time by 3 but the love between my kids is amazing and inspires me every day. I really wanted a 3rd but never thought I caould get so lucky. I couldn't but I was BLESSSED! She's a gift from a powerful GOD!

Bethany - posted on 08/31/2010

8

21

0

I am 26 and have two children. Madison who is 3 and Noah who is not quite 1. My husband and I have dabbled in the idea of having another baby. But we know that for us it's not the right time at the moment. I am just about finished up with school. I have 5 classes left....I would like to be able to find a job and work for a couple of years before we have anymore children. But then again a couple of years from now we may say our family is complete. For us it's just a go with the flow type of thing nothing is planned but it's in the back of our heads that maybe one more is in store for us!

Amanda - posted on 08/30/2010

2

11

0

I have a 9 and 3 yo girls and i am struggling with the same issue. my current take on it (i go back and forth) is that life is too short not to fill it with kids. and i really want a boy!

Janessa - posted on 08/30/2010

289

10

0

For us we always knew we were going to have a bigger family, and as we added each child I had to look at the kind of Mother I was and if my children were still getting the love they needed. Your personality and what a third child would do to that probably is a big factor. Are your concerns more with how you would handle it, or financial concerns. There really are a lot of factors here, but it really is an individual couple's decision. How does your husband feel about it? What are the cons against having a third? Are they less important than the pros? I know I didn't give much advice, but really this has to be what you feel is best for your family. We have 3 and plan to have more. That has always been the case for us. My husband comes from a family of 7 and loved it, and I come from a family of just me and my brother and always thought it would be cool to have more. But just like I don't want people to judge me for having more children I would never think that everyone should be like us, sometimes less for that couple is better, especially if one spouse prefers that. The relationship is the most important. Anyways, sorry I'm rambling. Good-luck

Doreen - posted on 08/30/2010

1

10

0

Hi

I've got 3 boys (19, 17, 2) and is not one day sorry about that. I love them to bits and each one have his special space in my hart and the house hold. The older two absolutely adores the younges and at the same time teaching them to wait a bit before they have any kids. Fanancialy it is not easy but you ALWAYS make a plan but an absolute pleasure.

Sarah - posted on 08/29/2010

27

8

1

Hi i have 3 boys aged 4years,2.5years and 8 weeks. Our decision to have a third was that our first 2 were boys and we wanted to try for a girl. We ended up with another boy but i love them all so much. It is very at times with 3 but they are quite young so are quite a handful at times. If u want another one i say go for it. Hope you get the info your after

Roni - posted on 08/28/2010

18

18

1

I have Two wonderful children and still feel that our family is not complete without at least one more! I love my kids and fill completely loved but am sure that we are going to have atleast one more. Two is just not enough for us but it really matters how you feel and if you feel complete with two or if you feel one more could be in your future!

Linda - posted on 08/28/2010

1

20

0

i have a 6 yr old little boy and a 5 yr old little girl. i love them both more than anything but am not having a 3rd child. I had problems with both pregnancies and both were born premature. I was told I couldn't have children so i am blessed to have them both. When I get baby fever, I babysit for a friend or go visit my neices and nephews. You will know what is right for you and your situation. good luck and God bless.

Annaleigh - posted on 08/27/2010

113

19

14

well...when the NuvaRing failed we really didn't have a choice. I'm holding my breath on Mirena, lol. (my first 2 were pill babies)

Melanie - posted on 08/27/2010

1

46

0

Go for it, I have 3 children and it is great, just be careful, I went to have my second and found out I was having twins, so go child 2 and 3 in one go. They are very close, and my daughter is 11. The third will make a great play mate for your 2 yrs old.

Rosemary - posted on 08/27/2010

1

3

0

Hi Rene i have 3 kids two boys aged 9 and 3 and my little girl aged 2 i decided to have my third because i wanted a little girl and didnt want to look back when it was to late and be sorry i hadnt at least tried. it has worked out great for me like you there was nearly six years between my boys but my 2 youngest are similar in age and are great buddies it is so much fun to see them play together.

Elstress - posted on 08/27/2010

1

0

0

I feel life is short and like my friend KeyShe says enjoy it.I feel like three is not going to make a difference than two. Children are a gift and they are blessings, Send me a picture of the new baby.
http://giftsbykeyshe.blogspot.com

Alisha - posted on 08/27/2010

84

13

14

We are contemplating this same issue. We have a soon to be 3 year old and shortly after that my son will turn 5! So we are thinking if we are going to have a third we should have one sooner so there isn't such an age difference. I don't want one just to have a little baby again (even though that's a fun stage) I want another so my kids have another sibling. Ideally I would have 4 or 5 but I know my husband and I would go crazy with that many!!! I really think 3 may not be that much harder then having 2. I mean I already get stressed at things like trips to the store and getting two kids in and out of car seats but really what's one more lol By the way I drive a Honda Accord and I can fit three carseat all across. I have fit an infant carseat between my two toddler carseats and also another toddler carseat in the middle. I agree with everyone else though when they say can you afford it? My opinion though is you don't want to regret not having another baby when it's to late! Also, if you wait to long then that child is like a separate family from your other children. Good luck with your decision and I think a lot of people out there are in your same boat!

Melody - posted on 08/27/2010

6

15

0

That's a hard topic because it's so individualized. My husband and I were older when we married (I was 34 and he was 41). Because of a couple of things that happened just before and shortly after we were married, we had to put off having children for a while. Our daughter was born 2 months before I turned 38. I wanted to have another one right away because I knew my age was a factor. My husband did not want any more children. I struggled for 2-3 years because I felt this tugging at my heart to have another child. But I knew if my husband's heart wasn't in it 100%, it didn't matter how badly I wanted one more. Long story short: our daughter is now 5 and for us, having one child was the best decision. Financially, emotionally, etc. But I would not be telling the truth if I said that the thought of having another baby doesn't appeal to me. My heart aches sometimes because I just loved being pregnant, giving birth, and being the Mom to a newborn. In talking with a lot of friends, I think this is something that doesn't go away. As women, I think that's what we are created to do, so it's natural. Look at the couple who has 19 kids and is wanting yet another one. YIKES! I think had we had another baby, I would have wanted another one. Hopefully this made some sense. I think this is a decision you and your husband have to be in dialog about and in prayer about. Make a pro and con list. My husband is a stock broker/finance guy and the big thing to him was being able to afford to have another one.

Amy - posted on 08/27/2010

1

16

0

We recently had baby #3, I struggled for a while as well on this. I knew I wanted a third, but just didn't know how soon. My oldest is 5, middle 3, and baby is almost 1 now. It was hard in the beginning, but you get a routine figured out and now I am sooo glad we had baby when we did. She has been an absolute joy in our home. And we CAN fit 3 car seats in the back of our Subaru outback. I take the kiddos everywhere with me. I am even considering #4...

[deleted account]

It was the deal from the beginning of our children talks...if we had a boy and a girl we were done! If we had two boys or two girls we would have a third! I am now pregnant with boy #2 and we are already talking about when to have #3!!

Melanie - posted on 08/26/2010

1

18

0

I have 2 kids ages 5 and almost 3. Older boy and little girl. My husband says we are done because we have our perfect family and money is tight but I just don't have that FINAL word in my vocabulary yet. I have one sister and she lives out of state so I rarely see her and I hate it. I figure the more kids you have the better chance you have of them sticking around for eachother. The one major thing that keeps me from wanting a 3rd is that while my pregnancies weren't too bad I had 2 c-sections and the recovery was a bare. Apparently I wasn't built to have natural births and my pelvis still has pains even almost 3 years later. I think my body would appreciate me being done so if we end up wanting a third we may adopt. I'm going to wait until my kids are in school and school activities (My oldest is just about to start K)...my friends with older kids say that keeps you so busy and you will know if you want more then if you are still in doubt.

Megan - posted on 08/25/2010

5

29

0

I have two children -- a 2-yr-old girl and a 4-yr-old boy. Frankly, my daughter, for all the joy she brings us, is a bit of a handful! She's brilliant but channels her smarts into mischief and stubbornness. Also, when she was a baby, she was collicky, and those were the roughest 5 months of my life. My son was easy, and if we'd had another child like him, I MIIIIIIGHT be convinced to have a third. However, with my daughter needing so much attention, I worry I wouldn't be able to devote enough focus and attention to a third child. HOWEVER... having one, two, three or more kids is a very personal decision that every person needs to make for himself or herself. One person's challenge is another's dream, and vice versa. I wish you luck in determining what's really in your heart. :)

April - posted on 08/25/2010

29

5

1

Women never regret the children they do have, only the ones they dont. I would LOVE to have three children... if your partner is happy to do it, then why not?

Mindy - posted on 08/23/2010

45

11

3

I have two boys. the oldest being 12 and youngest 16 months. I totally thought I only wanted one. I thought I couldn't possibly love anyone more then I love my first and it just wouldn't be fair to a new child and I didn't want to deprive my oldest of any attention but definately wanted a sibling and the more I thought about it I realized I didn't want him to be alone in the world. He needed family to enjoy special occassions with, so we had the 2nd. and I love him just as much as the 1st. I couldn't even imagine life without him. I've thought about a 3rd just so that we could try for a girl. but I have several friends with 3 children and I totally see the difference in time and money. I want don't want to deprive my children in any way. whether it be emotionally or financially. So we opt not to have a 3rd. not to mention the middle child syndrome. However, I believe all children are blessings and I know whatever you decide will be right for you. Good luck!

Kasee - posted on 08/22/2010

8

1

0

i have 3 kids 2 boys and one girl my oldest is 7 and i have a four and a two year old if financially your not in a good place i would recommend not to do it as far as middle child syndrome i havent had to deal with that yet only you can make the decision of if you want another child or not

Amanda - posted on 08/22/2010

257

17

15

In my case i didn't really have a choice. It was made for me. My kids were both 9 and 11 when i conceived my third. I was on the pill but had an infection and was taking antibiotics. Silly me, i forgot that antibiotics lower the effectiveness of the pill and we didn't "double up" on protection. Ended up with another baby in 2008. I love her like crazy but she certainly wasn't planned. Just gave birth to #4 sunday last weekend (so he's 6 days old). He was also very much unplanned. Well, by me anyway. My fiance still maintains that it was his goal to get me pregnant, even despite the fact that i'd said i was done. This time around i'm getting fixed to avoid another such occurrence (he seems determined to see a 3rd baby between the 2 of us, which would make me a mother of 5). No thank you!

Tarla - posted on 08/21/2010

2

35

0

I have a 2.5 yr old boy and 1.5 year old girl and am in the same boat, do we or don't we?? I have talked to numerous friends about it and asked there opinions. I have been told from experience don't rush into the decision quickly as you most likely will regret it if you don't. My friends that are done after 2 said they knew immediately that they were done having kids and I have never been able to say I am 100% sure I am done. And I have another gf that said her husband didn't want a 3rd because of the extra work with a 3rd, the vehicle and travelling issues etc. and she made a valid point that none of those are good reasons on deciding not to have a 3rd. I think you have to look at your particular family and see if that is what YOU want.

Margaret - posted on 08/21/2010

5

20

0

I always wanted 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls. I had my daughter, Melzora, Oct. 2002. I had my son, Isaiah, about 17 months later in March 2004. My husband asked me if I wanted anymore after each of them. I said, without hesitation, "Yes." with my daughter. I had a long labor and it was painful but I knew I wanted more than one! But when he asked me after my son I said in a serious voice "No." His labor scared me more than my daughters. It's not good to be exhausted during labor! I had both of them with no pain meds. All planned that way. But it's not easy. Anyway I said "no" for years. (but we never did anything to prevent pregnancy.) But I really wanted 4 children! So the last time we decided to try again we ended up getting pregnant with TWINS! So I got 2 boys and my 2 girls! I was so amazed. I did get "fixed" so now I'm done. I loved being pregnant and had good pregnancies. Even my twin pregnancy wasn't much different from my single pregnancies (except harder to breathe at times.) I don't regret having any of my babies. But boy when my husband and I saw the 2 heads on the ultrasound at 20 weeks that sure changed things! We definitely had to get a bigger car, etc. I have a double hernia so I may have had troubles with other later pregnancies. I also was afraid I would have twins again. It's so much more work with twins! But so worth it! So I know God knew what he was doing giving me twins so I would have my 4. My twins will be 3 in December. I do miss being pregnant and nursing. It is you and your husband's choice. Don't worry what anyone else says.

Tiffany - posted on 08/21/2010

75

18

12

I have 3 girls age 12yrs, 11yrs, and 2yrs. I'm often asked why I chose to hav a 3rd child. My reply is always the same. I love children and the issues people have with having more children didn't bother me. No mater the number of children you have there is going to be problems arise, but even with the age difference I've never regreted my decision. I would do 100 times over if I had it do over again. Then again this a decision you and your husband have to make because there are good reasons to having another child and good reasons not too. I would have another if I could.

Kirsten - posted on 08/21/2010

8

48

1

I have two children also 2 and 5 a boy and a girl. My last delivery was my son and it was a really bad experience I think about having another all the time but then I remember "The Delivery". Other factors that have deterred me and DH is the fact that we have 1 of each, and right now we are really content we are actually getting our lives back to normal and I feel between working full time the time I do have with my two children why would I want to lesson that with another. I am absolutely content with what god has given me and if I was to get pregnant again its god telling me its right. I had gotten preggo with the first two on birth control and they are 3 years a part so far we have made it 2 years and no preggos!

Candace - posted on 08/21/2010

27

85

6

I have 3-Gavin(boy age 4 1/2), Copeland (boy age 3 in Sept) and Peytan (GIRL age 8 months).....do I have to explain my reasoning that came true with our decision to try for a 3rd:)....Good luck...if you do choose to have a 3rd, the first couple of weeks are hectic, but once you get over the "new addition" phase that goes along with having another child, it's pretty much the sames as having 2:)

Good luck:)

Cheryl - posted on 08/21/2010

54

12

1

I am 23 and i have a two and half year old and a little girl on the way..she is due in 9 weeks. My husband and I have been married four years, I had ecclmpsia with my son and we knew having a second kid would be risky, but we did it anyway..I have been blessed not to have any complications. But because I am high risk for complications, and because of the economy I am having my tubes ties when my next kid comes out. I look at it this way, they sell family four packs of tickets, and you never hear much of a family five pack, so it will be easier for me to just have a girl and a boy. Im just glad my doc has decided to tie my tubes, a lot of friends my age she won't do it. But she saw all the complications I had with my son.

Tonya - posted on 08/20/2010

29

16

2

I have a 4 yr old son and 3 yr old daughter. My husband and I decided not to have more due to my age. I started pretty late having children and did not want to have a risky pregnancy, especially since I struggled with gestational diabetes when pregnant with my daughter. I'm finally starting to have a sense of freedom. My children can now do certain things on their own and don't need me as much as they used to. That means more mommy and daddy time too. I'm no longer changing diapers because both kids are potty trained. We can do more fun things together as a family that we couldn't do before.



There's so many reasons as to why not have more children, but there's many reasons for having more. Whatever you and your husband decide, I wish you the best!

Emma - posted on 08/20/2010

567

51

45

hi i have a 3 year old and twin girls aged 8 mnths so as you can gather was only planning for 2 not 3!lol! one word expense!lol! wouldnt swap them for the world but you not only have to think of basics they need like clothes food etc but then you got day trips where you then triple the amount of money you would norm spend plus when they want to join clubs like dancing etc they cost more with 3! i did not think of this expense when i only had the one thought it would be fine with 3 but you only realise when you have that amount of children so even though i would love more to be fair to the ones i have got i wont have anymore! yea you get by but do you want to just get by or do you want to be able to give the children you have nice things?! i have to go and buy 3 outfits as couldnt buy for 1 child without buying for the others it wouldnt be fair! hope this helps!

Katie - posted on 08/20/2010

187

31

36

I'm in a similar position. I have 2 daughters, one aged 4 and a half and one almost 2. I would like another but I wonder how we'd cope with a third; especially financially.

Taya - posted on 08/19/2010

57

41

9

I have 2 boys aged 5 and 4 and always knew i wanted moer children, my problem was finding the right man LOL. Now that i did (took an 8 year friendship and turned it into a 2 year marriage) we are now expecting a 3rd baby boy this Christmas Day.
I love being a Mum, and i wouldnt change it for the world. Mind you even my 5 year old asked me the other day, "What i want to be when i grow up?" I said but i am already grown. Hes like ok, but what do you wanna be and my response was Being a mum. Most rewarding job i could have ever asked for.

Amanda - posted on 08/19/2010

103

37

18

Well. My husband and I agreed on 2. (I wanted more.) I had put my mind to that, until I overheard my husband telling a friend at a kid's birthday party that we were going to try for a girl (we had 2 boys). News to me! But I was OK with that.

Serena - posted on 08/19/2010

453

10

55

I like to think God decided for us to have a third child. I have two boys and though I really wanted a girl, after I found out my younger boy was going to be a boy, I put away that thought forever. We talked about once our son was born, he was going to get a vasectomy. He had it scheduled actually but something came up at his work and he had to reschedule. The next month, I find out I'm pregnant with my third. To make a long story short, we finally got our girl but I am stressed to the bone raising two babies and a toddler. My oldest is almost 4 and my younger two are 9 months apart 13 mos and 4 mos. There are days where I just cry because I feel so overwhelmed (my husband isn't home most of the week due to work) but now that she is here, I couldn't imagine life without her.
Its a hard decision, are you ready to wake up in the middle of the night again? Are you ready to potty train again, etc.? Good luck with your decision, you'll make the right one :)

Lisa - posted on 08/19/2010

708

9

99

We had a boy and a girl and decided that was perfect. Bab#3 (due in January) was conceived on birth control so I guess God decided we needed 3.

Shana - posted on 08/18/2010

144

46

18

I have 4 boys, only my 2nd was "planned"....#3 was a "should we - shouldnt we - wow we are" baby :) but #4 arrived after failed contraception so I guess he was meant to be....and after that drs still will not do any "permant" contraception because I might want a girl one day (I must have missed the part where we select the gender the last couple of times LOL)
My advice would be look at your home n car first do they need to be upgraded to accomdate another baby - they can be painful expenses that are over looked until bubba is on the way!
But I must admit given a prefference even numbes do seem to work better...one (or two in my case) for mum and the same for dad....3 (and I am guessing 5) while is wonderful just seemed a little uhm...unbalanced i guess....my hubby just says said the perfect family is one where the kids dont outnumber the parents LOL

Vegemite - posted on 08/18/2010

916

0

15

Hi i have two boys aged 2 and 1. I figure i have my hands full with two and we are a happy little family of four so why change what's already the best thing I've ever had. That's why I know I won't be planning any more.

Shandy - posted on 08/18/2010

22

28

1

see I have always waned three since I knew were babies came from my youngest son almost stopped that for me because he was a naturel no pain killer birth he was born at 11 pounds but even though it hurt so bad to have I still want three I just want to wait untill he gets a little older

Amber - posted on 08/18/2010

13

6

1

It is not an easy Choice, I have a 3 year old boy and a 1 year old boy and now pg with baby number 3 and i am only 23, i am not ready for a third child but we took all precautions not to get pg and i still ended up pg birth control and condom failed imgine that guess it was just meant to be. And now we are having to look into a bigger place and a bigger vechile it is stressful i wish i would have waited a little longer but you know things happen they only make you stronger, if you think you are ready then go for it.

Amanda - posted on 08/18/2010

4

31

0

I think that your decision should be based on how you and your family feel about having another baby, if you can afford it, and how it will affect you. I also have 2 children, ages 3 1/2 and 20 months, and we constantly struggle with the choice, it is not an easy one to make. I have been told from many women that when you are done you know, so you just need to look in your heart and see where it is leading you, pray on it and trust in whatever decision you make. I would like to add that there are alot of hotels that now offer rooms for more, my family just went on vacation with another and we got a hotel from for 7 and it cost very little more than a regular room...just wanted to throw that out, idk if all hotels do this or not. The middle child thing, I worry about that myself when we talk of having another one, but I honestly feel that if that child is still shown the same amount of love and attention as all the other then it will not feel useless and unloved, I see no reason for any child to feel that way unless they are treated that way....I come from a 3 child family, where we have had our disagreements and the whole "why does he get it when I don't thing" but never was love from our parents doubted. I think your are going to have that anytime, I already get it when my little one wants to do what her big sister does. It all comes down what you feel is best for your family, but never worry that you wont have enough love for another one, your heart grows ♥

Cindy - posted on 08/18/2010

31

40

3

Oh- I also want to mention that we have an Oldsmobile Alero & we can fit 3 carseats in the back w/o an issue.

Cindy - posted on 08/18/2010

31

40

3

In 2009 my grandfather's cancer got pretty bad & my grandmother's family came to visit (she is one of 12). We happened to be having a joint birthday party for my two sons the same day. I had a list a mile long of things to do & everyone jumped in to help. That made me decide that I wanted another child-- so my older two would have another sibling.

I am 10 years older than my brother, so I am essentially an only child. I did not like growing up w/o a sibling, so I wanted my children to be closer in age.

Jaiy - posted on 08/18/2010

68

5

20

I just had my second child and was considering a third in the future. My boss has three and discouraged it for the following reasons:

1. Unless you're a single mother, you'll have to get a van. You can't fit three car seats in a normal car.

2. Hotel rooms will only allow you four people per room. So, at five people, when you get a hotel room, you now have to either get two rooms, or smuggle a child in and pray you don't get caught.

3. Middle child syndrome. When one is older and one is younger, there's an obvious baby and a big boy/girl. The one caught in the middle may feel useless and less loved, regardless of whether that's true.

These are only a few of the things we talked about, but ones that were significant for me. If we have a third, it will be much further in the future and probably be through adoption.

Bonnie - posted on 08/18/2010

4,813

22

257

Rene I am going through the same thing as you. I have 2 boys and almost everyday I think of the possibility of a third and I just can't completely decide. It's hard to decide because they are small (ages 2 and 4), but I don't want a huge age gap either.
The way I look at it is, I would regret not having a third, but once that baby is here I would never regret having him or her.

Patricia - posted on 08/18/2010

6

21

1

I have two kids aged 5 and 3. I am now aged 42. If I were 6 years younger, I would probably have a third, and perhaps even a fourth. Never sure that three is the best idea (middle child syndrome - but admit I don't know much about it!) If you and your husband want a third and you feel up to it and financially stable - go for it. I always feel you will never regret your decision - you will just love the next one so very much. But you might regret not having a third! Good luck with your decision

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms