When a Doctor says to you "Your son is going to have 2 times the injuries then a normal child"

Sheri - posted on 01/11/2010 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Is that Ok? She said that because in the exam room, My son, Michael, was climbing on the chairs, and that exam table, running, spinning until he fall (on his own doing). Also that Afternoon, Michael fall and hit his left eye/high cheekbone on his Thomas the Train Table. By the time we got to the appt my son cheekbone has a huge bump, badly bruised, and a little cut.

Should I be worried about when my son gets older and he everytime he get a bruise, cut, or bump that Social Services is going to be called on me, even though he did it himself (fall, sport or accidents, etc)????

Or does every doctor say that to worry you?

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Heather - posted on 01/21/2010

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My drs have told me a child should have 15-20 bruise cut what ever at any time any les the child is not active enough any more something may be wrong . My 3yr old Lilli is like your son andhas been dianosed as having ADHD and been put on adderall. we have had less booboos in the the week of meds then before. And I know how you fell Lilli goes o the er and all the drs and nurses say hi Lilli

Kylie - posted on 01/17/2010

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WTF!!! all those mums who have perfect children who don't hurt themselves BS!!!!!
You can't stand over your kids and watch them all the time, how will they get the confidence to survive in this world.
I don't know how social services work, But I assume if you let the doctors know when and how he hurt himself, keep a log and let any other carers know, what more can you do. I think it would only become a problem if you try to hide it.

Melissa - posted on 01/17/2010

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she's an idiot.. my daughter was walking at 9 months and used to pile stuff up so she could climb onto the washer and then jump off of it.. it used to scare me.. but she is 5 now and has settled down a little bit since she started prek. dont worry.. you have a very energenic boy and thats good..but he will keep you on your toes which is good for you..you will get plenty of exercise chasing him.

Tina - posted on 01/16/2010

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Your son sounds like a healthy active boy.If your not harming yoiur child I wouldnt worry.But I would find him a new dr.That was just rude.

Jen - posted on 01/16/2010

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I would find a new doctor, she sounds judgmental to the extreme and her comment obviously made you uncomfortable. So, I think the best remedy is a new doc.

Cassandra - posted on 01/15/2010

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I would have taken it as if she was joking b/c he was so active and climbing everything. I said the same thing (still do sometimes) about my son b/c he's so active and always climbing things. He tried to climb my mom's entertainment center when he was only 10 months old..we have a picture lol and he wasn't even walking!!

Meggon - posted on 01/15/2010

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Any child will fall down and bruise. You need to find a new doctor if possible. My daughter had soo many bumps and bruises and falling off things in not unusual to have that happen. I made sure she didn't hurt her self and need an ER visit. Boys will be boys and careless at times. I dont have a boy but am currently trying for a boy ( but never know though, i could get a girl) but from friends and all, Boys have a tendency to not pay attention. If you notice him spinning and he falls to close or notices he is spinning close to something and could hurt himself.. Move him to a location more suitable for him to continue spinning or playing... Boys will be boys. :D

Eileen - posted on 01/15/2010

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I have 3 boys and they are all different.14 yr was scared to try didnt get hurt much but then came my 8 yr old who is climb jump crawl type 12 stitches later,broken wrist cuts and briuses to many to count,and now my 3yr who is a combination of both. Yes boys will be boys but unless the dr is in your house see how he is how can she say that..

I was afriad of someone calling because of my middle child always had a bruise till he actually broke his wrist in front of his dr running out the door at the library.Well that was when he was 3 and since they say oh now what did he do know instead of how did this happen.

Crystal - posted on 01/15/2010

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We went to the doctor today and we've been to the park for 9 days in a row. He has 2 lumps on his forehead, one on the back of his head, a split lip, a scratch on his cheek, a bruise on his chin, and a slide burn on his neck. lol. I get funny looks at the grocery store but the doctor just said "hes all boy isn't he."

Jodie - posted on 01/14/2010

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Hey Everyone, We have a three year old boy and to date he has lost one of his front teeth (just after he turned one), then a few months later he was messing around on his toddler bed and fell on the corner of it and split his eye open and had to have glue to close it, then last september two weeks before i was due with his brother he went running to his bedroom and fell into the corner of the door frame and split his head open!! Our doctors are very very good and just keep telling me he is just a three year old boy and this is what boys do and not to worry. My only fear is as he gets older is he going to start breaking bones, but hey guess we just cross that bridge when we get to it....He is just a very active little boy and does not stop for anything. I don't think you should worry just let them be kids and deal with the situations as they arrise!

Esther - posted on 01/14/2010

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ITA, your doc appears not to have children themselves.

I actually found it a very unprofessional thing to say!



Your doc would have been better off to say that Arnica is extremely helpful for the treatment of knocks, bumps and bruises. Try a health shop. I ALWAYS have a supply in our house. Need to with 4 boys.

Brittany - posted on 01/14/2010

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Get a second opinion! It seems that your doctor is insensitive and has no manners. She should have asked you more questions before making a comment like that and drawing conclusions. maybe you can get him toys that are specifically designed for climbing that way you don't have to worry about climbing on things that he shouldn't be. I have the same issue with my son being a climber. He lovesto climb on the counter height dining table. I have to be super vigilant and alert as to what he is doing because he gets into everything!!! Kids are going to get hurt that's what they do... prevent what you can and document what you can't. I would suggest that if it doesn't absolutely need to be treated don't take him to the doctor. Every bump or bruise does not require the attention of a Dr. Broken bone and stitches obviously need it. I would have SS called on me if I took my son in for every accident he has ever had. I have never had a Dr. say that to me and it doesn't seem a supportive thing to say. Don't worry about it, just help him to realize that running inside is a no-no and give him plenty of time to run around outside or in a certain area of the house.

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2010

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I dont think that its like that at all Boys will be boys! That doesnt mean that we shouldnt be more careful Or teach them to U cant really keep and eye on the them every sec of the day My son has gotten hurt alot and it almost gives me heart attack everytime U cant worry about this too much everyone has their share of bumps & falls in life I personally was very worried about this also But it seems that if u child proof or observe your child very well U can seem to resolve or lessen the falls along the way

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2010

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well although it loks bad. What they look for is consistency- what happened & is it consistent with his injuries so you will be fine. He's a child & is going to get hurt at some point in time. Although I wouldn't let my child run around an exam room & spin on a chair. Encourage him to play with a toy while sitting in a chair if possible.

Alissa - posted on 01/14/2010

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;My kids are highly active and they get hurt all the time. It sounds to me like you Doctor is trying to tell you your son is over active wich is not true. Kids do that kind of stuff all the time. Trust me. Keeping a log is a great idea though just incase.

Kathleen - posted on 01/13/2010

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no, he just said it with dry humor, he's an active kid, more curious. my daughter is the same way, they just get into more.

Ann - posted on 01/13/2010

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My daughter is 2 1/2. I am constantly on top of her; she is not left unattended any where ever because she is the same exact way. My mother thought I was crazy for keeping her playpen (pack 'n' play) out still for cases when I had to do something or go some where in the house w/out her. That is until she helped us after my surgery. At the park, my mom bent down to pick up the cup my daughter dropped. By the time she stood up, my daughter had picked a wild mushroom & was about to bite it. My mother finally saw that we simply could not take our eyes off of her even for a moment. She's impulsive, pays no attention, & gets into everything. She's an extremely smart child & completely understands that certain things are dangerous. That doesn't stop her from running w/out looking & tripping, or jumping in her crib till she falls & gets hurt. I worked with children her age for years, & have never seen a child like her. She just doesn' stop until she's asleep. It's extremely stressful & exhausting. Whether you're attentive enough or not (as another mother said) I wouldn't know. However, I certainly wouldn't make any assumptions. As I said, I'm on top of our daughter all day every day; she still gets hurt. I'd ask the dr. exactly what that comment meant.

[deleted account]

I would want to know why the doctor said that. Your boy sounds like a normal, very active toddler....

I was a very accident prone child and constantly had bruises etc... My mom was always worried about what people would think, but she was very attentive. It was just me. I'm STILL accident prone at 33 and will notice a bruise sometimes and have no clue how I got it.

All 3 of my kids are very active and climb just about everything. They, thankfully, are NOT accident prone like I am and we don't have very many serious injuries around here.

Kristina - posted on 01/13/2010

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It is the opposite in my case. I have a very active little guy who will get small injuries every so often. But then we have had a couple major injuries, where he was left with a cut or bad bruise. I asked the my Dr. the last time at his apt. if he was getting too hurt. She said "no" that he was a normal kid,all kids get hurt once in a while and that unless a major injuries are happening often" a injury on top of an injury" that I had nothing to worry about. A week ago my husband took our 2 1/2 yr old in to get an x-ray of his foot, he had been limping for three days. So I called the Dr. she wanted to see him right away. The time they were at the office I kept thinking Oh no he is going to come home with a cast. I am going to look like the worst mom ever!!! Luckily nothing was wrong, two days later he had a big bruise on his big toe, so he must of just bumped his toe and it hurt when he walked.....he is totally walking fine now. I would look for another Dr. A Dr. especially your child's Dr. should be someone you trust and feel you can talk to about all concerns and ask any Question. If you are not comfortable than it is time to find someone else. I have heard that ones Dr. is having a relationship like being married.

Amy - posted on 01/13/2010

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I would point-blank ask the doctor why she said that. Then, you can decide whether or not too worry and about what. It doesn't sound like she is very professional. Perhaps you should try to find a different pediatrician.

Rikki - posted on 01/12/2010

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My initial response was one of ..."how dare that doctor"... but after reading Esther's response, she's right. Maybe you should ask the doctor for clarification! What made the doctor make that comment .. but I would question in a tone that says I'm concerned and want to learn as opposed to how dare you kind of tone.

Felicia - posted on 01/12/2010

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It just sounds like a normal little boy to me, I wouldn't worry if I were you!

Christine - posted on 01/12/2010

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my little monster lives in a "child proof" house, the only days we dont have at least one bump to the head is when she's sick and cant stop sleeping, half the time she dosnt even tell us she hurt herself we just see a bruise on her head a few hour later, at the end of a active week you can actualy see the different layers of marks for each day. some times no matter how well you supervise or how safe youve made your house kids will hurt themselves. your worry about social workers is sound though, if your having to get your son looked at then its probably a good idea to document what happen and maybe if someone else was there who can be a witness to the more serious bumps if someone dose come around asking questions. they take children away for almost nothing these days so good parents need to always be careful not to give them a reason, good luck hun, and they can fall from alot higher when there bigger so start trying to teach him that heights hurt

Jennifer - posted on 01/12/2010

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Pretty sure he's just a normal kid. Kids climb, kids run, kids explore and kids get hurt. Some more than others. If the doctor didn't have a good reason for saying this, I would personally find out why he would say such a thing or find a new doctor. Doctors DON'T know everything and most definitely don't know every child. When I was a kid I got hurt allllll the time. My 3.5 year old gets hurt a lot as well and did lots when she was a little toddler. I never let her climb on things because she was so clumsy, my youngest however, climbs everything and rarely gets hurt. You may need to child proof a little more (blocking off the kitchen so he can't climb on the chairs and such). Try not to let him climb things that will end up hurting him. It won't be easy though! Good luck to you. He will be fine :)

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My mom was and is a wonderful mom. She would never dream of physically harming me or any other child. When I was almost 2, I flipped head first over my tricycle handlebars and cut open my lip. I had to have stiches. A few weeks after those came out, I tripped over my toy wagon and my lip busted open again. Back in the hospital for more stitches. Social services were all over my mom. I was just a clumsy kid. If I were you, I'd do my best to kid proof my house and watch my son closely to make sure his injuries stay at a minimum. He sounds like an active normal boy.

Esther - posted on 01/12/2010

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I don't know Sheri. My doctor has never said any such thing to me and I've never heard anyone else's doctor say any such thing either. If you have to worry about Social Services being called on you, then maybe you should consider if there is some merrit to your doctor's concerns. Maybe you aren't being quite as attentive as you need to be to your son to prevent injuries. Maybe you should have a conversation with your doctor to find out exactly what he/she was talking about. what his/her concerns are, what his/her suggestions are for what you could do to be a better parent. There is room for improvement with all of us. I don't think a doctor would just make such a remark out of thin air. They are not idiots. They know kids get cuts & bruises from time to time, but something in this situation must be different for your doctor to feel the need to say something about it.

Sheila - posted on 01/11/2010

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I'm afraid I don't have much respect for doctors after my GP's inefficiency could have killed me and certainly caused me a great deal of unnecessary suffering!
I would continue to let your child play and do everything you can to protect him but I'm afraid this is how he will learn.
I would keep your own personal log of your son's injuries and how you treat them for your own use. Sx

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