Why do parents let their kids run wild?

Karen - posted on 02/12/2010

awww just hope none of you ever have to raise a disabled child..... ever considered that the child was either autistic or had developmental problems, or ADHD... nahh your narrow minded thinking is what makes parents with disabled children cringe!!!!!
i really hope .. god forbid none of you ever have to go through what a parent with a disabled or mentally handicapped child has to....these children constantly hate crouds, they hate sitting still and they like to scream... thb none of you narrow minded people would ever cope.... this discussion proves it!!!!!!!
you all should be ashamed of yourselfs for even discussing how other parents should raise THEIR child.
I have 2 children that are disabled 2yrs and 12yrs they hate crouds and because of their delayed devolopment screamed to comunicate.... people like you who stand and stare at them,, tutting and making sniddy remarks are unbeleivable, what you think by acting like that the child will stop all your doing is making the situation worse and to top it of ive even had one scum of a mother hit my child while out... so unless you know the situation and reasons behind a childs behaviour... no one has the right to chatise or even comment on another persons child...... end of
i'm sorry if you think my post is harsh.... but reality is, life is harsh and people have to realise you should never judge a book by its cover.
thanks for reading what ive posted have a good day

Teresa - posted on 02/12/2010

Question about the parenting 'by the book' community.... how do you decide which books to choose since there are a lot of very good parenting books that contradict each other. How do you decide which is 'right'? Wouldn't it be based on your opinion and what works for YOU and your family specifically? Different does not equal wrong. ;)

Stephanie - posted on 02/12/2010

I think if you are one of those parents who think your kid is the most perfect most well behaved, you need to get a reality check. I was a HORRIBLE child. My mother couldnt get a hold on me no matter what she did. I caused ALOT of health problems for her, so as for whoever said "a respectful child grows up to be a respectful adult" or whatever. YEA OK!! I have grown up to be a very respectful adult, and I certainly wasnt on a leash as a child. If you think a kid is annoying for acting like a kid, you shouldnt be a parent. But that is MY opinion. No my kids dont run wild in stores or public places, but when they talk loudly or sing or ask a million questions, or go up to an old lady and smile at her before running away, and she smiles back, i dont think its that big of a deal. Kids will be kids. Unless they are throwing themselves on the ground kicking and screaming and swearing or going around hitting people, i dont see a problem. They are curious, they were meant to be.They didnt come with a manual, they didnt come knowing whats "acceptable". So get over it. My daughter was with myself and my dad walking through the grocery store looking for my mom yelling " naaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnny where aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrreeeee youuuuuuuuu!!!""" and i heard a lady say "shut that kid up" i looked her square in the face and said "you my dear obviously have no relationship with your children, i certainly wouldnt have been proud to call you mom". some people need to realize, children were meant to act like children, not adults. so get over it

Jackie - posted on 02/12/2010

Rebecca, no one is saying their kid is perfect all the time, what those of us who find this behavior annoying are saying is that we don't tolerate it, and certainly don't find it "cute". If my daughter (who is 13 mos old) throws a temper tantrum, she gets removed from the situation if we are out in public....immediately. End of story. We are the parents, we are in charge. She misbehaves, she leaves. We go back in when she has stopped - no one else should have to deal with that. Does this mean sometimes a second trip back later on...of course...is it convenient...of course not. But parenting isn't about convenience, she needs to learn what is and isn't acceptable.

Vicki - posted on 02/12/2010

I agree with you Tangerine, it's incrediably annoying. Even with those of us who do have kids, still who wants a kid running around screaming, running into them/cart. I just want to go the grocery store to get what i need without all the insane craziness. I can understand wanting/ needing help from a kid who is actually doing the work, but there is a difference between a kid playing around, helping with the grocery shopping, and a kid just being obnoxious.

Rebecca - posted on 02/12/2010

BTW, I noticed that one of the moms who commented here has a very young child. Controlling a 13 month old is very, very different from controlling a toddler or an older child. Again, it's not your superior parenting skills at work -- it's the age of your child.

Rebecca - posted on 02/12/2010

I think it's very easy to judge other people, but the reality is, unless you are parenting that particular child under those particular circumstances, it's not your place to judge. End of story. As for those of you who are bragging about how well behaved your children are, I'm highly doubtful of your claims. It certainly sounds like revisionist history to me. No child is perfectly behaved at all times. That's just reality. I guarantee you at some point you have been out with your child or children and someone has been thinking, "why can't that mom control her kid?." And if not, it's most likely due to the mellow disposition of your child, not your superior parenting skills.

Carolynne - posted on 02/11/2010

Im saying this and being impartial as I have worked as a Middle School Guidance Counselor... Some parents whose children (in your opinion are running wild) don't always see it the way you do... Others, are embarrassed, but don't really know how to control their child or maybe something is going on (autistic etc). There are many reasons why things happen and some of them are because the parents just don't care, have the patience or energy to control them. Everyone has their own parenting style and even the best of parents may have something they do that bothers someone else. Circle of Moms is a safe place to vent, ask for advice, and be who you are and who I am unsupermom... Lord knows I have my days--- remember yes, there are parents who just dont care--but there are those times we dont know the circumstances...... So lets be fair and every is entitled to their opinion as long as we are respectful in our deliveries.. hugsssssss
They dont understand:
mother riding on a city bus
Kids are yelling kicking up a fuss
Everybody's staring not knowing what she's going through
Somebody said don't you even care?
Do you let 'em do that everywhere?
She slowly turned around, looked up and stared
She said Please forgive them
But they've been up all night
Their father struggled but he finally lost his fight
He went to heaven
In the middle of the night
So please forgive my children
(they dont understand)
Everybody's busy with their own situation
Everybody's lost in their own little world
Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true
(They don't understand)
Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
Maybe we should stop and take a little time
Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through

Rachel - posted on 02/10/2010

If my kids ran wild i would be so embarrased, there is a time and place for being a lunatic.... the supermarket, mall etc isn't it. I have 3 kids my husband works away so it's me, myself and I. My kids have been brought up to know time and place and there are ways and means of discouraging rampant behaviour without screaming, yelling and violence. I had for a year n half two 4 year olds, 2 almost 2 year olds and was pregnant ( 2 kids a friends) i took them shopping, to town the doctors with no difficulties using their inside voices, clear communication and zero tolerance to nonsense and NO BRIBERY because they knew how to behave BEFORE we left home. It is a parents responsibilty to make sure that the public are also safe not just there precious monsters. I am a 31 year old mother of 3 so not some fuddy duddy old bag.

Pooja - posted on 02/10/2010

I agree with Ms.Isbel completely. Well mannered children are the ones that grow up to be responsible and kind teenagers.They need to know when to go crazy and when have to respect certain boundaries.Who better to tell them then their parents. Who dosent like a kid who smiles back or waves at u r kid, says thank you, hi or excuse me or shares...



It is responsible and well mannered and parents that are sensitive and aware of other people convenience and safety of their kids at all times that mould their kids to be responsible and caring individuals



I dont think it takes much to tell u r kid Hey go ahead have fun why do u care where u r or what others think.Just do u r thing...

Jackie - posted on 02/10/2010

Not calling you out, just trying to make a point that I don't understand what all the hype is. Am I happy at all with what was implied about my parenting ideas...OBVIOUSLY not. But I took care of that by responding to her comments...and if I was that offended by it I just wouldn't have made anymore comments on this conversation, I would have stepped out.

I don't know, I just don't agree with their being "babysitters" on an adult online community forum I guess.

Jackie - posted on 02/10/2010

Kristen, I haven't seen a single thing in this conversation (both what I have said AND what has been said to me) that should even come close to considering shutting down this conversation. This is exactly what my post earlier today was about when I said if this is a debating community, we need to be able to debate or its not worth making posts.

Kristen - posted on 02/10/2010

Hey guys, come on, let's not get heated here. If you're getting upset, step back and make sure you've read whats upsetting you correctly. Ok, i know this is a loaded subject for many parents, but let's keep it cool on here. Believe me, I go on post and it drives me crazy to see kids under 4 completely by themselves and their parents come wandering up after awhile. Completely unsupervised kids is NEVER ok, but parents who take no responsibility for their kids is almost worse. Anyway....let's just keep the tempers at bay...we moderators don't want to have to shut down conversations.

Jackie - posted on 02/10/2010

Time out! Again, the post about "by the book" babies was directed at one specific person, and if you notice the quotes....IT'S A FREAKIN SAYING PEOPLE. That just happens to be the title that was chosen for the community name! It has nothing to do with being anal and everything to do with doing what is right...but again, its just a name.

I was given all the freedom in the world, with high expectations as to good behavior and manners, especially in public and around other adults. And amazingly enough, even with these rules and expectations I loved my childhood, what a shocker. I wouldn't change one single thing about it...I always have and still have a VERY close relationship with my parents.

My daughter has plenty of fun, she laughs constantly. She goes outside anytime the weather permits, she plays and explores frequently, just in appropriate settings. I love my daughter more than anything in this world.

So who do YOU think you are to tell me that i'm a horrible parent and make my daughter miserable because as she grows up she will be expected to behave. I have NEVER told her she cant speak, and I have NEVER sheltered her from anything...nor will I. I don't "lock my daughter up" as you are implying...its quite simple really, there are certain behaviors that are expected when we are in public (which is all the time thank you very much!). There is nothing wrong with expectations and rules, and if you do it correctly it doesn't make your child miserable at all. I have seen plenty of very bad outcomes by people who think their kids shouldn't have any kind of rules they have to follow.

Jackie - posted on 02/10/2010

Trust me I know there are varying degrees of kids "running around". I just personally don't think that is the right venue for a kid to be roaming alone at all...even if they are close by. You may think what he does is harmless, but Im not exagerting when I say I can't count the number of times one of these "Roamers" has popped out from behind something unexpectedly as I am trying to move my cart through the store and they have almost gotten really hurt. I walk fast, if I little kid, (esp as young as yours) got hit with a cart like that - it would hurt. Its dangerous. And if I am in a rush and need to hurry through wal-mart or wherever (as is often the case), I shouldn't feel like I have to keep an eye out for someone else's kids. That's just not the place for them to be anywhere but in a cart or holding moms/dads hand.

Believe me I let my daughter explore on her own...but she does it at play areas designated for that in malls, at playgrounds, in our backyard etc...places where she is not getting in someone else's way.

And I wasn't commenting on anyone's parenting style that is in this forum, I was telling one single person of a community I thought they might like, and to do that I wanted to describe the type of community that it was. That post was specifically stated directly to Tang.

April - posted on 02/10/2010

I am a parent to my son AND a friend. Either way, i'm not trying to argue your beliefs and i respect how you want to raise your children. Everyone is different and has different ways of doing things. I will say though i don't let my kid run through the store and demolish things and he's not running around like a maniac like you're thinking. I have seen children that run around like lunatics in the store and scream and make huge messes. I even saw a kid remove a fire extinguisher from walmart and use it...i was pregnant when this happened and had to leave the store. Now, that's what i think about when i think of kids running around doing whatever they want. But, then again, my son is only 15 months old ....he's not doing any harm yet at this age running through a store...he doesnt go very far from me before he runs right back. And i sure don't let my kid make the decisions...ha ha, if i did then he'd be running around naked with a bottle hanging out of his mouth all day...and that sure doesnt happen

Jackie - posted on 02/10/2010

Tang there is a community called "by the book" babies that you might want to consider joining. We are a bunch of moms who follow the guidelines set by professionals in raising our kids.....we don't do things the easy or convenient way, and we dont let our kids make the decisions, we do them the best way for our children. We are parents, not friends to them. Not sure your thoughts on the rest of your raising of your kids, but based on this post you def. share our feelings on some things.

Jackie - posted on 02/10/2010

I'm with Tang on this one....I def. don't find those kids charming, they make me cringe. More than once they have almost gotten hurt by barely missing being hit by a grocery cart, they are always in my way when I am trying to move through the store b/c they dont' pay attention, and just last week I had one of these very kids bothering my daughter and no matter how may times i moved my stroller away he kept getting in her face. Children need to behave when they are in public. If you want to let them run free and explore thats great, but there are placed to do that like playgrounds etc.

April - posted on 02/10/2010

Hmmm. i let my kid run around wild...he's a kid...that's what they do. I mean, don't get me wrong..i don't let him out of my sight and i don't let him go to the grocery store and rip things off the shelves or anything. But as long as i can see him, the store isnt packed full of people and he's not doing anything to hurt himself or get us kicked out of the store i see nothing wrong with letting him run around. All the people that my son have ran up to seem to enjoy the company of a cute curly haired little boy saying hi. And, i think it is cute when a little kid comes running up to me and says hi or tugs at my pant leg. It's even more funny when they think it's their parents leg they are tugging at until they look up and realize it's not...such a confused little face they get. ha ha. Either way, i don't think it's wrong to let them run around as long as they arent destroying things or hurting themselves or other people. As long as you can see your kid and what they are doing then i think it's ok. Plus, you can't keep 'em strapped in the cart forever :)

Mandy - posted on 02/09/2010

Goodness. . .. you have kids?????? Don't you know that every parent trys to keep a handle on their toddler, but it IS difficult. You cant control them EVERY second of the day, and you shouldn't want to have to...I mean as long as the aren't running into traffic, or in the street, I seriously don't think it's THAT big of a deal that a toddler is helping you get grocerys at Walmart.....