Why does my baby love her father more?

Sinazo - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I have a 2 year old girl who is so in love with her father and I think more then me....even when we come back from work she never runs to me or hugs me.I don't know if its because I have a four month old baby or she's angry at that.It hurts really at times

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Barbara - posted on 09/09/2009

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I have 6 kids and all 6 of them did the same thing from about age 2 to 4 or 5. IT's a phase they go through. Mommy sort of disappears in the importance factor, then comes back. Don't take it personally. Infact, in this part of their developmental stage it's important that Daddy is part of their world. We (as mothers) get the first two years to hold and cuddle. My husband describes this time as the "blob" phase - go ahead laugh, I do, then the children become more interesting to them because they're able to do more. You still have that bond with your children, It's time for Dad to develop his bond more with them. It will turn around and become more balanced after about 5 yrs of age. You're still important to them ( does she still come to you when she has a boo-boo?). Encourage her time with Dad (maybe even breakfast dates with her), and if you desire that one-on-one time, have a daughter and mom time too, Hope this helps.

Greta - posted on 07/15/2011

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Moms are often given the task of rule maker. Dad's are often the human entertainment center. If you want your child to find you interesting, make their life interesting. Often only dads possess the strength to pick them up twirling them, spin them, place them on their shoulders, etc., this can be hard for many moms, if you aren't physically able to lift them or you can't find the time to develop that sort of strength, find ways to give them the physical stimulation they desire. Also, dads often don't mind getting down on the ground (at eye level) and down to serious horse play; this demonstrates your interest level to your child. And really, isn't that what it's all about, how much you let them know their relevance to you. Your activities with them should be child centered. Meaning, let them decide what it is they want to do, you just try to facilitate their activities; let them guide you, so that you can guide them (within reasons of safety, etc). When you try to force kids to play something you think is fun or educational, it's bound to fail; it doesn't mean you don't make those activities available to, but don't force the issue. Listen to them and watch their body language, they'll let you know what's interesting (it's often the seemingly trivial thing that they want to play with). Don't spend your time with your child saying "no." One parent usually ends up with this role of enforcer. Find a way to share this role equally so that the child see you both as accommodating and as a rule enforcer. And when you do say no, make it quick and without any emotional input (it's often as easy as taking something away from them) and when they moan or cry in protest, ignore it completely. Kids at that age will not understand adult complex reasoning; they're simply trying to get what they want. In fact if you find yourself saying "no" often, ask yourself why that is. Is it because you haven't safety proofed your home? If it's not causing a safety hazard ask yourself if you really need to make it an issue... pick your battles, it'll pay off down the road. Lastly, it's not about love. Kids at this age don't understand those sorts of complex human emotions; at least not in the same way an adult would. They just want a daily adventure. If you make life interesting for them, they will want to be with you. Dont' forget dad's can be goofy, they'll dance and act the fool for your child... like the farmer in the movie "Babe", sometimes you need to dance for them... they like that. And by the way, you should be having fun too, because they know when you're faking it.

[deleted account]

Hi Sinazo, my daughter also showed similar "preference" and it would make me really upset. After the birth of my second, I actually became depressed about the situation with my first and saw a psychologist to help me sort out the inadequate feelings I was having. He assured me that is an actual psychological stage that children should go through with their mothers. It is completely normal and that one day she would "come back" if you will. Sure enough she did! By three she started showing a more intense need for me. So weird. These stages definitely play with your mind as a parent. Good luck! and hang in there! The hardest part I think is to not take it personally and to think that it is something you have done. I agree with the other ladies about us being the ones to set routines, etc. I also now agree that they (the children) are tougher on the ones they trust and who are around the most.

Rachael - posted on 09/10/2009

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She is too young to differentiate favorites like that. Dont let it upset you. I used to think that about my son when he was a baby. She loves you very much.

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Garrison - posted on 01/27/2014

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Sorry ladies, I have to disagree with some of you, I am a step father of a five year old boy, a six year old girl, and the biological father of my 19 month old son.. I am the rule maker, the enforcer, and those are the primary reasons my wife and I got divorced. You see, I am also the enabler of growing up, and the children love that I treat them like little grown ups. They helped me cook, bake, garden, I would take them fishing, to go feed and vaccinate cattle, work on tractors, and all sorts of things. It bothers my ex wife (and we are still very close friends, this is not a stab at her) that her own biological children ask me to stay out of they can go with me or help me instead of staying with her in the day's she has them, and meanwhile, if my son sees me or hears my voice, mommy didn't exist anymore. She gives him candy, baby bottles that I weaned him from at one year, puts him in a high chair and makes him eat with his hands, etc. When he comes to dad's house, he helps me cook, pushes a box over to the stove to stir his eggs or veggies depending on what we're making, and is a part of things with me. He doesn't say many words yet, but he understands me very well. Just the other day I was looking for my keys so I could take him to buy him new shoes and I asked him "Gannon, where are daddy's keys?" He pointed and said his baby talk deedledeedeedledee, and walked over to the garbage can next to the washer and dryer and pulled my keys out and ran over and rhave them to me. When I take him to lunch after church the Sunday's I have him, he sits in a chair and uses utensils unlike a baby high chair and uses his hands with his mother. My point is, I'm sure there are many dads that don't make rules and just horse around and don't do much like many of you are saying.. but for the ones like me, it's merely a difference I'm parenting styles. Anyone who has taken child developments psychology knows the four basic parenting styles. If I'm the rule enforcer and the one that makes them eat their vegetables, and puts them on time out etc, and they want only to be with me even after I've left their mother and whatnot, and she lets them eat lucky charms in their underwear on the couch all day and watch sponge Bob on the couch and do whatever they want engender she has them (she has openly admitted that she wants them to live her more than their father) and they are my step kids, what does that say? Now I'm retired military, she is a full time nurse, while married, I worked her family's ranch, and did everything with the kids, yes I played with them, but just because we played together doesn't mean that I wasn't the firm enforcer of rules and whatnot. Different children and different genes make up what they want to bond with and be closer to. My 19 mo toddler emulates everything I do, and acts like a little man with me, but screams amd certs and doesn't eat and smacks his mother away when she tells him to give her a kiss, and it breaks my heart watching him behave that way with her.. but, she enables him to be that way with her, and I enable the children to behave like little adults. My ex step children still call me daddy, it means the world to me, also means I did something right. Of course he's going to run to her with an owie before me, because I don't coddle him over nothing that isn't broke, but when he wants to feel like a big guy and am individual, he comes running to his papa, just like his half brother and sister do to me, their step dad.

B - posted on 01/08/2014

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All women here? Wow! no wonder a little girl wants her father, he makes her fell safe, important and that she isnt being held to some level that cant possibly ever be enough for her Mother. My wife is so jealous that i'm a stay at home dad even tho it was her idea

Lydia - posted on 09/12/2009

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Hey that the same concern my husband has with my son. Since he adores his mama.If your concern she might be jealous, try some girl time with your daughter. Having a tea party, playing dress-up. My husband has guys time with Ian. They go to the park and the beach he loves it.

Jade - posted on 09/11/2009

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All girls adore their fathers i know my 2 year old does, but she does see slightly less of him themn me. he works all week and i work 2 days a week,. so when he gets home she only wants her daddy!

Talin - posted on 09/09/2009

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I know how you feel you when my 1 year old see's his dad its like I am not even there.

I think its because 1 parent is the rule setter on the other is the one that just goes with everything they do that like that parent better. In you case girls are more drawn to their dads dont feel bad I know it hurts but she will grow out of it all in good time keep us posted.

[deleted account]

We are all women here, I'm sure if your father was a part of your childhood at one time you were likely daddy's little girl... But you know momma always holds a special place in your heart! Now as grown ups my dad has a cow that nobody ever calls him but we ALL keep in touch w/mom! (parents divorced) I agree w/the other moms that daddy gets the good end, all they do is play and be merry... Momma sticks to the rules, etc... When she wants to be girly she'll be needing momma back! Dad's aren't soo good @ the girly stuff! But they seem to treat their little girls like princesses and who doesn't love that? Beware when she hits teens you'll both be on the sh!t list so to speak! :) Ah the phases our children will go through... GOOD LUCK!

Lisette - posted on 09/09/2009

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Dont worry I have a 4 year old and my daughter at that age did the same thing now she four and she mommy little girl now she wants to be with me everytime. I felt the same way but I always heard the saying daddy liitle girl, so I thought it will never change but it did so just be patience and give her mommy love

Megan - posted on 09/09/2009

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My son loves his daddy more its just not far all the thing we do for them and all the men do is play time and barth times well thats wat mine does lol

Sinazo - posted on 09/08/2009

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Nichola thankx man...... jst thinking about it I think I am the big bad wolf in my home too.The funny thing is even when her dad stops her from something she till goes back to him with sorry written allover her face bt with me that's another story for another day but I guess its life and i'm not alone

[deleted account]

my 2 year old daughter is exactly the same so i kno how u feel..i think all little girls tend 2 b daddys girls i also have 2 sons which they r more around me than ther daddy..but it hurts wen my daughter plays me up and is good 4 her daddy..dont let yourself get upset over it im sure ur little girl loves u just as much as she loves her daddy i find 2 with my daughter its because my partner gives her watever she crys 4 and lets her away wif anything and i seem the big bad wolf 4 not lettin her away wif things..take care xx

Sinazo - posted on 09/07/2009

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Thank you Angela....It feels much better knowing that I'm not the only one going through this and at times I feel like I might be doing something wrong but now I know I should just hold on to loving and taking care of her regardless.thankx again

Angela - posted on 09/07/2009

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Don't take to heart, i'm sure she still loves you just as much but shows it differently in comparison to her daddy. My little girl adores her father. She only see's him when he gets home from work at nights and the time they do spend together is spent playing and having fun. Whereas with me, i'm the one that keeps her to routine - feeds her, bathes her, disciplines her, changes her etc. How she reponds to her father is no where near the way she responds towards me but i know that doesn't make her love me less. Girls also have a special bond with their daddy, just like boys will always have a special bond with their mummy....don't take it to heart - as she gets older, she'll understand a lot more. Good luck...hope it gets better for you xo

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