4.5 year old behavior in school issues

Lana - posted on 05/19/2017 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi Mommies, I really need your advice. I’ve been in tears almost daily since last year. Maybe some of you had a similar situation. So our daughter who is almost 4.5yr. She started having issues at school when she turned 3.5. Acting out, ex. not listening to teachers, sometimes hitting, tantrums, etc. We thought it was due to school and new teacher. We decided to pull her out and put in a new school. There were other reasons we didn’t like the school, not only because of the sudden behavior change. Anyways long story short, in new school she still continued this sort of behavior and still does, although its much better now, but still existent. School recommended to get her evaluated which we did, they found NOTHING. In fact, all her scores were above average almost top of the scales. Anyways, they still send a seit to help her out that comes for 1 hour a day, but i don’t think it’s helping at all. I personally think it’s either her personality or she just doesn’t like school setting. I want to point out, at home, and her 2 curriculum activities dance and gymnastics, she’s wonderful. She is patient, no tantrums, easily takes turns, no hitting, super sweet and shy girl. What can this be? We are so upset about this situation, because the things they say she does at school she doesn’t do at home at all, nor in any curriculum activities, nor on playground, nor among our friends and their kids whom she plays so nicely. What could this be? She’s starting pre K at the same center, we are starting to rethink weather she’s just not ready and needs more laid back environment? Maybe babysitter at home? I don’t even know what to think anymore. We are just sick and tired hearing almost daily from teachers about these little things…..

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Miranda - posted on 07/28/2017

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Hi Lana, I am a mother, grandmother, professional nanny and a PD Parenting Educator. I also have worked at dozens of pre-schools. It does concern that she is acting this way only at school. I had to put my son in pre-school to be able to work, but after working in them, I would only send him now, maybe 1-2 days. There, to me, is too many kids in the rooms. Yes, to answer the question can one child just pick on another yes! I had the toddler room and there was a little girl, that always seemed to pick on another. One question is do they have a monitor so you can watch what is going on when you are not there? The Academies here in the Nashville are offer that. Also what kind of discipline do you use at home? That would be helpful.

Mandy - posted on 07/06/2017

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I truly hate the difficulties you are facing because there is no easy answer. I ran across this post while researching toddler inquiries. My "babies" are grown now and it seems like I wish at least once a day I could go back, do it over again. I have a son that's 20 that faced problems at school but really nowhere else. We still have not figured out what or why. We were given a diagnosis of ADD, ADHD, left-eye dominant (this is where you are right handed but the left eye dominates, and even autism and dyslexia and Asperger's syndrome. I truly hope you find the right answer quickly and easily at this young age. I put a link at the bottom for you to explore. This is a very informative website and it's worth checking out. It's the learningcorner.com. Your situation sounds so much like our's did and like you are doing with your child, we put him in gymnastics and he ended up placing #1 in the state his first year with ease and hardly any effort. But putting him in a school setting made him a different, unmanageable child. He just could not comprehend or remember things learned the day before. We caught this so late that he still has problems writing and reading and this does cause issues with him thinking he is slow or just can't do certain things, but he tests quite high academically when the tests are verbally given. Your sweet young one may have not one of these signs, but I encourage you to look throughout this website. It is very helpful.
I hope this helps.
http://ilslearningcorner.com/2016-03-mix...

Lana - posted on 05/30/2017

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Thanks Ana. I spoke to her numerous of times. She’s not very open about it. I ask her if she likes her teachers and friends and most of the times she says yes. I ask if someone huts her or makes her upset, she says no…. I don’t know what it is…. Maybe someone picks on her, but can kids this age pick on a certain child? I just don’t know what else to do. We are so upset about it because she’s such a sweet girl and listens so well everywhere but the school…..

Ana - posted on 05/22/2017

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I am sorry you are going through this. I personally don't have an issue with this situation, since the way my kids act at school is how they act at home, sometimes it's bad and sometimes its good. Maybe talk with your daughter, perhaps she doesn't really enjoy something at school, or someone is picking on her. I know my eldest gets picked on because she seems to have ADHD and can be a nusance in school. My second child is about to go into kindergarten and has anger issues and can't take a joke, he is easily angered or his feelings get hurt easily, I hope not, but forsee some issues with him in the future. I hope I have helped a little. If talking with her doesn't help, maybe talk to her doctor about your concerns. Good luck.

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