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Death-does your toddler talk about it? Should I worry?

Amanda - posted on 12/04/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is three, and lately he talks about death all of the time. One of our dogs died this summer, and he didn't talk much about it then except to repeat what we had told him. Now he is asking where she is, and he wants to know why Mama's Grandma doesn't have a Papa. I told him that Mama's Papa died a long time ago; now he repeats that all the time and asks my mom where he is. I am not sure if this is normal three year old behavior because he is trying to figure things out or what? Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any insight?

Thanks!

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Merrie - posted on 12/30/2012

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I was wondering the same thing! My three year old has been saying things like "I'll kill you" or "You're going to kill me". All sorts of things about death and killing. I'm not sure where he picked it up because my husband and I don't talk about it or watch violent TV around him and no one close to us, pets or people have died in the three years since I had him. I think maybe they just pick up on it here and there from overhearing TVs or other people's conversations. I don't think it is anything to really stress about unless your three year old seems genuinely scared or bothered by it. In that case, I would ask his pediatrician.

Amanda - posted on 12/26/2012

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Thank you all. It is so nice to know that my son is not behaving oddly.

Rebecca - posted on 12/11/2012

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My son was only 1 year when our dog Rex passed away. He is 4 now but he also still asks about him....especially if he sees pictures. I have talked to him about Rex dying because he was a member of our family. My son even remembers where he was buried.I think it is normal for 3 year old to talk about death..especially if someone they know or know of has died or a family pet has died.

Kristin - posted on 12/06/2012

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I think this is pretty normal as your child is trying to find answers to what death means. It is a hard concept to grasp and that age and are only looking for understanding, I told my kids when their pet died that God called them to heaven and they are in a better happier place.

Cleaver - posted on 12/04/2012

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when my cat had cancer and we had to put him down my brother was under 2 (4 now) and still remembers him if he sees a picture of him he tells me that 'thats the cat that was gone where did he go?' eventually we had to explain heaven and he tells people that 'the big cat is in heaven'

Chelsey - posted on 12/04/2012

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My grandfather passed away a year ago when my daughter had just turned 3 and my other daughter was 4. At the time we told them that they wouldn't see great grandpa anymore because he had been sick and died, but now he wasn't sick anymore. In the following weeks they talked about it all the time. They are now 4 & 5 and still talk about it occasionally. I think it's pretty normal for kids to talk about death once they've been exposed to it.

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