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Rebekah - posted on 12/04/2008
I don't think that developmentally speaking the spanking or time outs or "naughty chairs" or going to be very effective in the long run. What you are doing with these tactics are setting up a confrontational fear based relationship with your child.
The best discipline is prevention. Childproofing your house so that there are not things available that would get your child into "trouble" and making sure that there are plenty of interesting toys and activities to play with. Lots of "time in"...meaning more time playing and talking with momma. When toddlers are doing things that make us feel that they are "misbahaving" they are usually trying to get their needs met in any way they can. Are they tired? hungry? uncomfortable in any way? Overstimulated? too much noise and busyness? Understimulated? change of scenery, going to a park etc may help.
I find that if I look for the underlying cause of my child's behaviour then a harsh displinary tactic is virtually never needed. And I can be sure to prevent that particular situation in the future. Especially "temper tantrums" which are almost always a cry for some unmet need.
Jessica - posted on 12/04/2008
i know what you mean... though I found what works is a WARNING. Tell them if they don't stop they will end up on the naughty chair... you could even do the counting to 3, and if they don't stop (temper tantrum etc) by the time you get to 3, put them straight on the naughty chair... ASAP... It doesn't matter what you are in the middle of... correct the behavior as soon as it happens.