Friends baby might die

Melanie - posted on 10/17/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My friend had her son Oct 1,2009 . There is nothing they can do to help the baby. and they said that they have two choices and that is one to get a surgery done for him to put a tube in his throat that will help him breath but he will never move or eat on his own or we can take him home and let him live as long as he is able to

his brain is small and it will not grow at all..ok that is what is wrong with her baby now they also said if they do the surgery he would only have 20% to live . what would you tell your friend going though this iam lost for words when iam talking to her . I tell her i will pray and iam here for her . but i dont feel like iam doing much to help her ...

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Jamie - posted on 10/17/2009

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O man, im so sorry to hear that...The only thing you can really do is pray...let her know your praying for them. And just be there for her. Listen when ever she needs to talk. You may not know what to say back but when she looks back on this moment...she will think, thank god I had such a great friend to talk to. Just support her what ever they decide to do. God Bless

Tamzin~Rose - posted on 10/17/2009

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i know it doesn't sound nice but if i were the mother i would let nature take its course, it pretty much sounds like the choice she has is either watch her baby suffer if it survives the op or watch him die and that is a horrible decision to make for anyone.
the only thing you can really do is be there to support the mother, if she needs to vent then listen, if she needs a shoulder to cry on then be her strength, just be a good friend because it is all you can really do..

Leann - posted on 10/20/2009

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my daughter died at 1 day old there was nothing the doctors could do. It might sund awful what im gunna say but from what u have said he is gonna die either way all u can do is be there for her no matter what desision she makes it is always nice having a some1 to lean on.

Jennifer - posted on 10/19/2009

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We went through this with some family members two years ago (it will be two years this Thanksgiving). Our oldest son was preemie and we were still close to that experiance. You really can't advice your friend, even if you have some experiance because EVERY baby is SO unique and special! Be supportive of the decision her family does make, whatever it is, and do as much as you can for her. If she has other children offer to watch them so that she can be with the baby as much as possible, make sure she eats and stays healthy herself, don't harp her, just bring her food or offer to sit with the baby so she can rest. Also don't act like the baby has already died. Celebrate the baby's life as it is, bring her gifts, help her "plan", and help her create memories. If the baby makes it through this beginning ordeal then the family has all the precious beginings that you have with any child, and if the baby passes away then the time spent now is even more precious. You have a lot of love for your friend I can tell, just be there for her!

Lorie - posted on 10/19/2009

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I know it sounds bad to say but there is nothing you can say or do to make them feel better. Iam so sorry they are going though that, I couldn't even imagine.

All you can do is just be there when they need you.

Once again Iam so sorry to hear that.

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13 Comments

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KAREN - posted on 10/19/2009

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By being there for her and listening to her you are helping your friend immensely. Do not judge her by the tough decision she has to make. She knows you are a good friend, which you are. Pray for them all as a family. My thoughts are with you all. xx

[deleted account]

Be ther for her let her know that you hate the fact the she has to make a decision like this and let her know that whatever it is that she decides that you agree 100% and are there for her. help her spend as much time as she wants with the little angel. If shes at the hospital tell her you will get whatever she needs. but also tell her you will be there to watch the baby if she needs to get out real quick for some air. Good people like you will always find a way to help others keep up the good work god bless

Catherine - posted on 10/18/2009

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I know it may be hard for your friend and you to but you and your friend have to keep the faith and pray to Almighty God and he can fix everything. I don't know you or your friend but I will keep you both up in my Prayers, because you both are hurting behind this. May God be you.

Nikki - posted on 10/18/2009

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i'm a nurse and i have taken care of kids and babys and then older ppl with problems like this all you can do for your friend is be there for her with what ever she decides to do offer to go to aapt with her and be there for her to talk to about what she understands the dr to be saying to her all u can do is be there for her do not be scared or overwhelm her for explaination. the moms of the kids i have taken care of almost all say the hardest thing is friends that say y ... y let him live if you know there is no chance or y r u putting yourself throught this ect they want a friend that understands that no matter what the child is there baby and most of them tell me they have periods of douting there decision and they need a person to tell them there r doing the right thing for them and they need strength in there low periods alot of them have very few friends from before kids because ppl don't know what to do you can always ask her what she need and if she needs help good luck and i will pray for u and her and for your friendship it sounds like u value her alot

[deleted account]

I suppose other then what you've said just tell her you are there for her to talk to whenever she needs an ear...It will be very difficult for her to go through this and she may not feel comfortable talking to others or even her spouse about some things she may be thinking now or in the future. Let her know that if she needs someone to talk to that is willing to listen w/no judgement you are there! Good luck and God Bless!!!

Miranda - posted on 10/17/2009

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Lord, I ask you to heal this baby. Heal him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. I ask you to fill him up with your mighty healing waters. Just let your healing waters flow thru him. Touch him Lord and let him feel your love. Let him know that you are with him. I pray for the total and complete healing of this precious baby. In your word, Lord, it says that we were healed by your stripes.



I command his body to line up with the word of God and be healed, in the name of Jesus, by the authority of the written word, by the power of the blood, by His spirit and in His faith. Galations 2:20 says we live by his faith.



In Jesus Name,

AMEN

Laura Marie - posted on 10/17/2009

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I'm so sorry to here that, I dont think there's anything you could say but to be there for your friend and pray. Trust in the Lord.

Laura Marie - posted on 10/17/2009

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I'm so sorry to here that, I dont think there's anything you could say but to be there for your friend and pray. Trust in the Lord.

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