hitting and screeching

Coreen - posted on 07/16/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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hi my son is 21 months old and hits and screeches if he he told he cant do some thing its a nightmare because when he does this i tell him no which just makes him do it more anyone got any ideas i even put him in his cot for time out but then he gets into a tantrum and living in a flat the whole block can hear him.

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Coreen - posted on 07/17/2011

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thanks kiley ill try what you have said ill keep you posted on how its going x

Kiley - posted on 07/17/2011

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I'd be pretty surprised if the time out method worked for a 1yr old (however be rule of thumb is one min per year of age). In any case, I am a preschool teacher (and mom of course) and don't use the time out method with my kiddos. I would firstly, try and reflect on why this behavior is manifesting and try to limit whatever the triggers are. Distracting him before be gets frustrated is an option. With my mine I would get down to her level, look her in the eye and say, "Stop. We don't yell, yelling hurts my ears. I like when you use your big boy words to tell ms how I can help you." then try to help him identify his feeling and he cause for that reaction. Ie I see that you are very frustrated. I can tell you are frustrated because your face looks like this (model) and your voice sounds like this (model). Maybe you are frustrated with ____ bc ____. The more language he has at his command the less he will "loose it" ;) and the more you can work with him. Remember children this age have not yet brain development to completely control their emotions.

With the hitting, if he hits you (& you're an actress you can act injured) tell him, "Stop. We don't hit. Hitting hurts. If he is combative you can keep him in a gentle but firm bear hug quietly repeating, "I see that you are sad/mad bc___ but I will not let children hit." if he hits another child point out how that child feels/if they're crying etc. Have him help get an ice pack or rub the childs back.

Ps. Make sure you model gentle/regular voices so you can be sure he understands what you are saying and and that you can then request he uses his, and being gentle with one's body and hands. There is also a variety of children's literature on the above topics, visit the library & have the librarian help you (or the book store). Books can be a great calming distration and a great way to practice redundancy on learning to acquire these skills.

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