How can I get my 4 year old to listen to me?

Theresa - posted on 03/22/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 4 year old likes to not listen to me intel I yell at her and that is not working anymore

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Suzanne - posted on 03/22/2010

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Go up to her and have her look at you in the eyes and speak very very softly to her. So she will have to strain to listen to what you are saying. This will be a 360, in what she is used to and should work in getting her to listen to you. When you are mad, always go up to her and get down to her level and look her in the eyes and tell her what you expect. If that means she goes in time out or just normal conversation, do it. She will appreciate the directness. Also, to get her to listen, say it once. Then Say it once telling her if she doesn't listen, she is going into time out. Start counting, and at 3 she goes to time out. IF she starts waiting until you get to 3 to do it. Tell you are no longer counting to 3 and just give her a reasonable time to react to your request. Then put her in time out. Don't debate why she is in there. At this age, she should be able to go to the time-out chair on her own. If not she goes to her room or to bed. After she is there for 4 minutes, again go up to her get down and look her in the eyes, have her look you in the eyes and have her tell you why she was in time-out. Tell her you know she can do better cause she is a wonderful little girl and try harder next time and give her a big hug and be done with it. I would make a conscious effort not to yell anymore. Tell her we are not yelling anymore to get her to do something. She will do it or mind when you tell her the first time or their will be consequences. Taking a favorite toy away or not watching a favorite show. If she sasses back, its a longer punishment. Don't engage her negative behavior. Tell her what is expected of her in good behavior and correct it swiftly. Of course, reward her for good behavior or if you catch her doing the right thing or making the right choice. This should bring about positive changes in her behavior. Good luck!

Lea - posted on 03/22/2010

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Most people get desensitized to it if they hear yelling all the time. I don't yell, I use a stern look and serious tone of voice along with informing him of a consequence of what he is doing, and if he does it again after being warned, I follow with the consequence. If she has learned to ignore you, you may have to grab her and make eye contact with her when you give her the warning. You really don't have to yell, its actually very ineffective compared to this method.

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