how can you stop a 3 year old from bullying?

Heather - posted on 04/08/2012

You keep trying, and he is ONLY 3. He doesn't totally understand yet. So you need to do to him what he is doing to them to show him how it feels when he does that to them.

Misty - posted on 04/01/2012

Thanks so much!... yeah they havent been taking their normal naps since it has been getting warm... need to start their nap time again....lol thank you all for your encouraging words and helpful tips!:)

Lada - posted on 03/31/2012

Awesome,Misty...continue with love and patience. We are here to surround our children with unconditional love.Separate behavior from love: Mom loves you ,sweetie,you know mom loves you.You can do better.Be nice with your sister.

Frustration can be a sign of different issues.Lack of attention,tiredness,hunger,jealousy,or to much sweet like candies or sugary food. Blessings to you,Misty.Keep being a great mom.

Misty - posted on 03/31/2012

Thanks! he has been so much better just the last two days... all day today he kept telling me he was a good boy! because i praised him so much! he shared with his sister all day! still hits when he gets frustrated! but bullying has gone down a lot! just in 2 days!!!

Lada - posted on 03/31/2012

Beautiful,Kimberly...You teach your kids through the power of touch and using LOVING solutions.You will receive the same love back from your child.

Kimberley - posted on 03/31/2012

I have always taught my kids before they could talk how to be nice. Like with my firs kid, when petting my cat or dog, I would take her hand and softly stroke the animal with it. I showed her how happy it made them. I would ask her doesn't it make you feel good to make her happy. She tried to hit the dog once, so I timed her out, told her what she did wrong, then I made her say sorry to the dog and pet her. Just showing her how to be nice and asking her if she would rather make someone happy or sad seemed to work for me. I told her it would make you feel better inside to make someone smile. By the time her sister came along she would never hit her. When the little one smacked her, her dad said smack her back. She said, no it is not nice to hit! Her little sister took a little longer to teach, but it worked. I think it took longer because of the reaction she got out of her sister, to her it was funny, but I persistently would take her hand and "pet" her sister's arm with it and say be nice like this to her. She finally got it though. But teaching them not to fight over toys, that is a different matter! lol

Lada - posted on 03/30/2012

You can use what serves you best.I choose to motivate child lovingly.I try to ask myself:Where is the root of the problem? You can motivate your child using FEAR of course such as:You did bad,I will do bad.I am choosing: I am here for you,I am a loving mother and i want you to be a loving child. When they grow up,they use exactly what YOU teach them. Remember:You did bad,I'll do bad? When they are teens they say:OK,mom...You didn't buy me a present,i will not treat you well.



Also TIP from NLP:When we use:It's NOT OK,Or you are not doing it right...our mind hears:It's OK.You are doing it right.(Check out NLP and our mind and reverse psychology). In this case instead of:It is NOT OK to hurt your sister,we are using:STAY AWAY from your sister. Instead of: Don't close the door.Leave the door opened.

And always remember to give your kid a hug and celebrate even small success such as;Today you was such a great boy.You was really nice with your sister. You deserve a prize .

Jennifer - posted on 03/30/2012

By three, if he was taught that those things are wrong, then I'm pretty sure he knows they are wrong. The minute I noticed my YOUNGER daughter (who is now two and a half years old) was hitting her older sister (now six) with PURPOSE, I immediately started doing something about it. When she would hit her sister, I would flick her hand and tell her, "No. It is not okay to hit your sister." I did the same thing the few times she tried to hit me. She's much better with not hitting these days, but if she does hit now, she almost always appologizes right after.



I kind of agree with the "get what you give" bit. When my two year old was younger, she started to bite her older sister. What I was doing wasn't working, so I finally told my six year old that if she bites you, bite her back. The two year old didn't bite much longer after that lol.



I've also used the, "Would you like it if I (or he/she) did ______________ to you?" They say, "No." "Well, I don't like/think he/she likes it, either." And if it's my child, I have them appologize to the other child and there are sometimes where I also, depending on the severity, give them a consequence.

Lada - posted on 03/30/2012

Three years old child have no idea what bullying is about.He does it because he needs an attention. When he feels that you are paying attention on what he does,he wants to continue.

My method is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.When he does it,just have a patience. Hug him and say mom loves you,your sister loves you.You are a smart boy.And THIS is a bad word.Smart boys are using nice words such as ...and give example of positive words,or ask him...what nice word do you know?Next time he does it...Say:Is it a good word or bad word? He will say:Bad.Are you a smart boy?Yes!What words smart boys are using?...Make it a game.Make him feel loved and proud of himself.

Misty - posted on 03/29/2012

i have explained how it is rude to do it and i need to be more strict about it with time outs! but i think he did get it from his older cousins...but we only let him watch any learning shows on Netflix...and husband loves sponge-bob! and i started a Rules Chart! hopefully it goes great! thanks!:)

Teresa - posted on 03/29/2012

Stop him. Put him in time out. Talk to him about what he did, why it was wrong, and how he would feel if it happened to him.

Alisha - posted on 03/29/2012

Well, there is always the golden rule treat others as you would like to be treated, YOU do it back to him not hard or anything but show him how it feels to have others be mean to you then ask him does he like having those things done to him? you can also try time outs or even a swat on the butt (if you believe in doing that.) but bullying needs to be nipped in the butt at young ages cause it will only get worse as they get older bullying doesn't get out grown. also what shows does he watch or how do other kids act around him? like older kids, cause some behavior can be taught by surroundings if he sees it on t.v or by older kids doing it he may think it is ok to act that way. hope this helps :)