How do I stop my almost-3-year-olds violent mood swings?

Constance - posted on 02/02/2012

Thanks everyone for replying even though it wasn't my question im having some one the same issues with my daughter. All of the advice on here has been extremely helpful. It has made my home a lot less chaotic. Thank you all so so so much.

Denise - posted on 02/01/2012

Lots and lots of exercise in the sunshine. A punching bag (they have them for kids). Then direct him to the punching bag or get him started on an active dance video that he likes and talk after. The talk should start with an apology from him. My grandson had a little bit of this when transitioning after divorce. He also had to stay indoors more at daycare. I asked him how I could help and he told me he needs to go outside. So, even if it were raining the director of his daycare took him out or to the gym and let him run ( a long hall will even do). Exercise really helped! Good luck!

Lori - posted on 01/31/2012

Thanks I'm going through the same thing........

Danielle - posted on 01/10/2011

Thanks for all of your advice! I talked to a psychologist and he said to stop taking the toys away b/c it's not working and it only enrages him more. We've decided to stop yelling at him even when he is tearing out our eyeballs and just walk away even if he follows us. Talking to him calmly has been working a little better, but he's not 100% yet. It will take time.

Lorena - posted on 01/08/2011

give him a big hug and tell him that you love him it works most of the times :)

Amy - posted on 01/04/2011

It couldn't hurt to do omegas. But...I'd try taking out high fructose corn syrup, any dyes with numbers after them [red 40, blue 1 etc]. Also, does he get to watch any tv? sometimes my kids get ANGRY after they watch an hour. If they watch it, I limit it to half hour am, half hour after nap, but the rest of the time they play and it helps them work out energy and frustration. With our daughter if she started to throw a fit, we took her to the bathroom and told her to have it in there and come out when she's done. We had to put her back in calmly a few times [which was hard to do calmly!] but she eventually just kicked out of the fit phase. hopefully it passes soon and you can figure out what's up. I DO know that the omegas should not be given before bed because they help your brain stay calm, yet alert. Don't want him to mess up sleep, too. I do my kids' omegas in the am right away and let them play like mad.

Randie - posted on 01/02/2011

Do you fight around him? If so that has to change. If you are trying to fix a violence problem you can't do that WITH violence. NO SPANKING all that will teach him is "we hit when were angry" Also be as calm as possible. Do not pay any attention to him until he calms down. If that means putting him in his room and walking away even tho he is throwing something and your afraid he will brake something...oh well. Walk away and show him that his behavior will not get any attention. And absolutely don't give in! if he is freaking out because he cant have his toy truck dont just give it to him just to calm him down. He will remember that and the next time you take something from him he will think back and say "well the last time this happened I just threw a fit and it got my toy back so im gunna try that again." You need to be calm and be consistent. My daughter has started to grab my arm really tight when ever I pick her up to put her in bed. All I did was continue to put her in her bed no matter how hard she squeezed. She would try her hardest to sit up despite me laying her down, and I just kept laying her back down until she finally realized (after about 10 tries) that she was not gunna be able to get up. At that time she would calm down and whimper. As soon as she is quiet enough for me to speak softly I would say. "Please don't hurt mommies arm like that, it really hurts. I'm sorry you are upset that you cant play but its dark out side and that means we all have to go night night. I promise you can get up in the morning and play all you want." If she responds in a nice way like "ok mommy" then I would say "Mommy loves it when your such a sweet good little girl!" This usually makes her want to continue to be a good girl. And if she doesnt respond well and she starts getting mad again. I just get up and walk out with a simple good night and I love you. If she gets up you just repeat laying her back down. This is just a bedtime example but you can use this for any fits for a time out (like instead of putting your kid in bed, it would be a time out chair) Just remember to only keep them in time out for about 2 minutes as long as they stay sitting there for 2 minutes without getting up then they have done there time.

BUT my favorite method, the one that works for me every time is finding out what they love most. A certain toy they cant be without. Or maybe a visit they are about to have (park, grandmas, santa, a friend) You could say if you hit/kick/bite/pinch/yell/scratch mommy one more time I will throw your favorite truck away. Start by picking a toy that is not so expensive, because if you say your gunna get rid of it if he hits one more time, and he actually hits you again you have to immediately throw it away. (it kinda sucks when you promise to throw there newest DVD movie away and then actually having to throw the 25 dollar movie away- made me want to cry too lol) Anyway just threaten to throw something away or say "we wont go to grandmas today if your gunna hit mama." Hope this helps....good luck

Sabra - posted on 01/02/2011

If you think it could be a deficiency then take him to go see the doctor to try and find out.
If it's not a deficiency then when he is acting that way put him in a safe place where there is nothing for him to throw and he can't hurt himself. Once he has calmed down try and explain to him that it is okay to be upset, everyone gets upset but its not okay to hurt people.
Another form of discipline is to take away toys. Instead of putting him in time out take away his favorite toy if he keeps acting out take away another toy.
You shouldn't yell or spank though because it is just modeling the kind of bad behaviors you are punishing him for.
The best thing though would be to try and talk to him about emotions. Few people seems to do that with their kids and it can be hard to know how to react appropriately and and even simply understand what they are feeling sometimes.