How do you punish a 1 year old?

Diana - posted on 06/25/2010 ( 83 moms have responded )

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My 19 mo.old son laughs when I say no. He always seems to think that I am playing, no matter how firm I am. He does not respond to taps on the hand or butt either. He always tries to play with outlets or my oven door. I need some suggestions!

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Sarah - posted on 06/25/2010

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My suggestion with outlets and the oven door is to get the safety things they make to prevent kids from getting in them. This is an easy fix and will keep your son safe. For discipline I would do several different things depending on the situation. If he was to throw a toy for example I would say NO, we don't throw toys" in a very firm voice and then take the toy away and put it up for the day. For getting into something he should not be...first I try to give a warning. If he continues then I remove them from the situation and try to get them interested in something else. If the unwanted behavior continues then it is a time out. At 19 months he can sit in a time-out spot for 1 minute without getting up. At first you may need to work at this. Find a spot where he is not by toys or things that could turn into a toys :), make it a spot he can't see TV. Make the spot where you can see him. At first he may get up before that minute is over....if this happens put him back ...the first time say, No you are in a time-out." the next times you say nothing. He MUST sit there for 1 min. WITHOUT getting up for that whole minute before he can get up. Remember you MUST be CONSISTANT and FOLLOW THROUGH. You need to teach him the time-outs....sitting out for a certain amount of time does work, but you also have to remember that you must enforce the time-outs or they mean nothing.

Christine - posted on 07/03/2010

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If your 19 month old is doing those things after you say no.. it could possibly be one of two things.. or a combination even of those two things..

1) He could be seeking negative attention from you... if he feels he's not getting enough non negative attention with you.. often kids who aren't getting the attention they need, will seek out behaviors that they know will push your buttons, just to get your attention..

2) He may not understand hot yet.. he may not understand that what he's doing is dangerous. And he may need to be taught that.

Also the fact he does it.. and you say No. and he laughs.. it's possible he thinks it's a game.. and that he's playing with you.

What you need to do is.. first get the oven locks, and the the outlet covers that he can't remove.. and use them .. that way it's a mute point. They have some really good ones.. if your local baby store doesn't have them.. then look on Amazon.

Second.. make sure he understands what hot is.. when your cooking dinner.. and using hte oven.. if you open the oven where the heat can be felt.. let him stand close enough so he can feel the heat too.. and say Hot.. close the door.. and say.. ouchy ! So he knows that Hot is ouchy...

Third.. make sure he is on a schedule.. so he knows what to expect during the day.. so often we moms.. if we work outside the home or if we're stay at home mommy's.. just assume once our baby is walking that theydon't need the attention they once had.. but they actually need more attention..

When my daughter was 18 months old.. investigating her world.. and getting into some trouble.. I'd create projects for us. I taught her about plants.. and let her pick seeds (in this case peas) and taught her to plant them.. and everyday she and I would go to water them and make sure they were doing okay.. we'd look for any differences.. and then we'd play outside together..

But point is.. sometimes you have to be creative with the things you do with your child.. so they're getting the attention they need.

I have a friend of mine.. she is on thecomputer all day long. her son will dance around naked in front of her.. and she ignores it.. and is still on the computer.. he'll make ridicluous and crude sounds.. and she won't get off the computer.. but her hot button is when he comes to her and actually touches her computer.. then she gets upset.. and he gets yelled at..
the whole time he's getting yelled at.. he has a smile on his face from ear to ear.. why? He's finally got his mama's attention.

So hopefully that gives you something to think about. All kids are different.. one child may not be as needy for attention as another child... but it is something to consider.

Good Luck !

Alex - posted on 07/01/2010

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Your story reminds me of my son when he was one! What is it with electric cables and toddlers? It's all attention seeking as you've probably guessed and he's experimenting and building his list of tricks of what works. Smart these little humans are ;0)
I found that a little bit of time out works for boys. (Boys remove them from situation and girls, remove situation from them). When you take him to his room if the missbehaviour occurred in the kitchen, crouch down right into his face, hold his arms firmly by his side and say something like "we don't play with cables". Look really serious and give him a long stare until his face changes from smiley to 'uh oh'. Leave him in his room with the door closed for a couple of minutes and then return with a quick hug and your friends again.

Anita - posted on 06/28/2010

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My 22 month old has the same cheekiness. He laughs too when I go mad at him. I tried smacking his bum but that just makes him more angry and aggressive. So we put him in his room gently and close the door for a few minutes. That seems to do the trick!

Jessica - posted on 06/26/2010

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I would teach him "hot". This applies to outlets, oven door, stove, mugs, and anything else that a hot item can be inside at our house. DD has dipped her fingers in coffee, cried, all the while I was telling her "Yes, it's HOT, and will HURT YOU so don't touch anymore. HOT." she was about a year at the time and now 20 months and knows to blow on hot food when told it's hot, never goes near the stove or outlets, etc. as for the laughing... my dd does that moreso at bedtime or naptime. I'm still working on a solution to that one LOL

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He IS 19 months old; it's his job to explore and test things. At this age, EVERYTHING is new and exciting and it is up to you to redirect and protect him. Punish him? Are you kidding? Timeouts, taps on the hand? You can't be serious about this. How about investing in some guards for the outlets? As for the oven, as long as it wasn't on (guards were on the knobs), I'd let my babies open the door and take out the stuff that we store in there; bang a few baking pans around. Instead of barking "NO", explain that this hurts, or it's hot, or gentle touch. I tell my little man who is stubborn beyond understanding "Dude, I love you, but I don't like it when you keep doing ...it will hurt you and mema doesn't like it when her baby has boo-boos. Does it always work? Heck no! Spend more time baby-proofing your home instead of stunting his growth.

Anita - posted on 07/15/2010

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Alison, just because you have studied 'child psychology and attachment theories' does not make you an 'expert' at how to raise another person's child, all chidlren are different and they all respond differently. I know you didn't say you were an expert but you are implying that because you have studied these topics it makes you somewhat more experienced than other people.



I think a mum intuitively knows what to do and like I said every child responds differently. I do totally agree with your theory on smacking, because I hit (with great regret) my son once and he responded with violence so I haven't hit again. BUT I do agree with putting him in his room for a minute. My son is now 2 and this method has agree with us. We don't have a playpen so there is no other area that is secure other than his room. We use to put him on the lounge for a minute but it didn't affect him and he thought it was a game. But puttiing him in his room made the issue really sink in. My son is very determined and very 'full on' so talking to him sternly doesn't do anything, nor does distracting him because that doesn't solve the issue. My daughter who is 13 months old on the other hand responds differently again, so it really is trail and error. It's one big learning game!!

Catherine - posted on 07/15/2010

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I probably started disipline with my eldest around a year mostly when the situation could harm her, sockets ect. I was very big on safety and had gates every where (not that thats the answer I'm just a safety nut) I would move her away briskly and say no firmly as many times as necessary and she would get the message after four of five removals. I didn't use naughty spot until she was over two and able to understand fully why she was punished, also wasn't required until then (if memory serves it was something to do with harming our very tolerent cat). That's not to say it couldn't be applied earlier I have found it to be very effective as long as she understand why she is there and has had one warning before hand.

Catha - posted on 07/12/2010

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Time outs do work...thanks for the suggestion. My daughter tested us often, she played with her food at times, took a spoonful and threw it on the floor. When I said no, she would stopped and then purposely threw it on the floor. We put her in the room and waited anxiously for 2 minutes (she is 22 month-old) while she screamed and called papa, mama...very heartbreaking. Then, I picked her up, she stopped crying straightaway, and was very nice. We have not done the I am sorry part, but did try to explain to her why she has time out and say I love you to her.

I think that when I put her there, I have to pick her up - same with my husband, right?

One more question, what about the day care? The staff seem to allow her to do whatever she wants. I think she learns to be naughty there.

Lori - posted on 07/12/2010

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I have been using time outs for a while now. I use the Supernanny method.... 1min for every year old they are... keep putting them back... no matter how long it take for them to sit there. Then I get down to her level and explain what she did and why it got a time out... make her hug and kiss me (make them say sorry and I love you if they can talk)

It seems like they are too young.... but they aren't!! Also... and this is very important.... never threaten it without following through. consistency is the key!! Establish it now... before they are old enough to question it.

Tanja - posted on 07/12/2010

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Children are very good in sensing our tone of voice and even the mood we are in. My 24 months old son used to not listen to me either but I learnt how to change that. Firstly, I would take him away from where he was. Secondly, I would make him look right in my eyes while I was firmly telling him that the thing he has done was very dangerous. I also explained to him why it was dangerous.

Regarding taps on the hand or butt I think this is not going to work because your son will any time soon do it to someone else i.e. other kids. Spanking is useful when a kid does something extremely bed. Furthermore, when kids are 4-5 years old they understand better why they have been spanked. In this way they learn the meaning of punishment and the meaning of spanking.

Hope this above will be helpful
Good luck

Alison - posted on 07/11/2010

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I can't believe how many people are condoning smacking a 1 year old, or putting them by themselves in a room and shutting the door! I think it's down right disgusting! I've studied child psychology and attachment theories. Smacking a child that young will do you no favours, and is more likely to make them either hit back or start hitting another child. I would suggest kneeling down to their level, hold their arms (firmly but gently) by their sides, give a very firm "No!", and then put them in a secure area (playpen with no toys of course, travel cot etc) for 1 minute for every year of their life - no more! If they stay on a step all well and good, but I don't know many 1 year olds that will! Maybe at 2 this may be a little easier, but 1 might be pushing it! Be consistant, and keep your vocabulary simple. Just remember that at this stage they are just exploring, but are also checking the boundaries. So be firm, but please don't smack them! I have 3 children ranging from 7 to 15 months.

Rachael - posted on 07/11/2010

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We try really hard not to use the word no, instead we say stop and hold up our hand, which works really well, otherwise we stick her in time out, a spot facing the wall and I stand with my back to her...

[deleted account]

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Geralyn - posted on 07/10/2010

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Wow.... Political correctness - I have never heard an alternative style of parenting to hitting called that before. Parents do not do it to be politically correct. I haven't read all the posts, but I recommend reading Dr. Sears' "The Discipline Book." He discusses different methods of shaping behavior and the pros and cons of different responses to behavior.

[deleted account]

I would suggest firmer "taps" on the hand or butt. You need it to be firm enough to get your point across. I'm a firm believer in spankings. It worked quite well for me and my brother growing up, and I have since used it on my daughter when it's necessary. I have also done bare-butt spanks because all of the padding through a diaper or pull-up really doesn't do much as far as punishment. Also use a firmer voice when telling him no. The politically correctness that parenteing has seemed to turn to is really lame in my opinion. Don't say things like "No, honey I said don't touch". You need to give a firm direct "NO!". If your kid isn't listening to you, it's time to grow some balls and let him know who's in charge of the situation. I never baby proofed my home. I taught my daughter what was ok to touch and what wasn't. If you continue to allow him to ignore you, he's going to grow up thinking that's ok and will walk all over you once he's older. Pull those reins in now while you have the chance.

Natalie - posted on 07/09/2010

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it worked for me... my 2 year old isn't scared of me but he understands there are consequences to his actions

[deleted account]

At 19 months old, he won't respond to physical discipline with anything other than mistrust or fear.

You could start by covering your outlets and getting the safety knobs for stoves.

We taught our 2-year old from a very early age (before she turned 1) that the stove was hot and therefore, dangerous. She's never tried to play with it. As for outlets, we covered them when she started moving on her own - not even quite crawling.

At 19 months, he'll need repeated messages. Every time he tries to play with the stove, remove him and say, "NO! That is hot!!" I'm not sure, though, that he would understand or even respond to a "time out".

Natalie - posted on 07/09/2010

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With my first we did time out. I tell him no and if he continues I send him to time out and he gets to sit there until he stops crying. Then i let him out and we talk about what he did and we make sure he understands. If that doesn't work a little pop on the butt will. That is my style of parenting ... im kinda old school

Rebekah - posted on 07/09/2010

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I think that it is not possible to really "punish" a one year old, even up to two years or more. At that stage it is more about being patient, removing them from the situation even if they cry and act up, and just don't get frustrated enough to get angry, hit, smack or whatever. Say "hot" and "ouch" and "no" etc to try to get them to understand without a disaster happening. My little girl responded very well to "hot, very hot" and then "don't touch, very hot" etc. Patience and prevention is the key - you really can't reason with them at this age because they are too little to understand cause and effect - so punishment is just going to be cruel and confusing until they are old enough to understand why. I hope this helps!

Kayleigh - posted on 07/09/2010

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If my daughter is near or has something she is not supose to i take it away or move her away from it and explain in a way she would understand why to stay away from it. Like she already knows not to touch the oven she knows it's hot so she won't touch it but she will blow on it. Really I think its really cute. But I just stick with it and block her away from things I can't move. For example I leave a baby gate in front of our tv stand so she wont mess with the sound system n other stuff under there or at lease if she knocks it down I have a few extra extra seconds to grab her and detract her with something else she can play with.

Heather - posted on 07/08/2010

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We do the highchair thing too, I am looking forward to having more communication so we can move to a more traditional time out.

Heather - posted on 07/08/2010

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Okay so usually a 1 yr old can be distracted by offering them something else to play with and of course it's better to have safety gates and latches on things that could hurt them. However, when we found that our emerging toddler still wouldn't listen we began instituting play pen time. This time out would not be for a long period of time, but after a few times in a consistent manner our toddlers would learn that a certain action would end up with them in the play pen.
This is all well and good until they are able to climb out at which point, since my son is 2 and lagging behind in speech, we haven't been able to figure out a good time out solution afterward lol

Diana - posted on 07/08/2010

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Thank you for all the suggestions. I just want to make it clear that I do have outlet covers and other baby proofing items. The problem is the outlets that are being used. The timeouts do not work for my son yet. However, putting one of his favorite toys away for the day seems to be working quite well for me. If he pulls the cats tail or tries to unplug something he loses a toy. The first day he lost more than five toys, today only one. Again, thanks for all the different suggestions :-)

LaLasha - posted on 07/08/2010

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time out is huge. It also helps to have started early with discipline but I guess that is neither here nor there so I would say time out spankings if the stove is hot and he tried to mess with it because in that case what he was doing was a danger to his life and he needs to know that it is serious but time out tends to work with me and I'm consistent. Really really consistent. I time out when we go to the store if they act up and that is how is has to be sometimes.

Janelle - posted on 07/08/2010

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I have 3 children and I found with mine that until they were about 2 to 2 1/2, depending on the child, just a gentle redirection was the best course of action...time outs were really not helpful, just exhausting...it doesn't mean your child isn't intelligent if he/she keeps getting up...sometimes it means that they are simply smart enough to test your mettle and "wait you out". Some call this a strong will...I have been blessed with three strong willed children, and it will serve them well later in life! Best advice from my experience...baby proof as best you can, redirect where you have to, praise them every chance you get, and enjoy every second...it goes by quick! Best of luck!

Peggy - posted on 07/08/2010

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Oh, I do disagree with the idea that toddlers are too young to be given a one minute time out. My children were smart enough to understand and they are wonderful happy kiddos who generally listen and now at ages 8 and 3 will go to a timeout when told to and then usually stop the behaviour very quickly.

Peggy - posted on 07/08/2010

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I like the suggestions. When my twins were that age, if I coupled "No" with a time out... they needed strapped into their highchairs for this at first... they would not stay still, but when they got the hang of the time out method it worked. Unfortunately redirecting and discipline is a never ending battle for a while with that age. Keep it up! It will pay off.

Malee - posted on 07/08/2010

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First of all, change the perception of how to approach this as not "punishment" (reserved for when someone does something he knows is wrong) but instead as "correction" (redirecting and remodeling a behavior that is inappropriate, but not necessarily intentionally delinquent), because at the age of one he doesn't yet have a well-rounded concept of "right" and "wrong" behavior.



If it is something that is not going to result in impending danger, then when he tries to turn your firm "no" into a game, remove your attention for the moment (as in ignoring him as far as he can tell, but you're still supervising him) so that he will begin understanding that you won't "play" that game. Otherwise, when you do say "no" you should immediately redirect him into a more suitable behavior, and then smile and praise the "good" behavior right away.



If he is in a dangerous situation, however, a startling behavior from you before you remove him from the threat will work better than a calm, firm mandate: Actually look frightened and worried about it, and it may cause him to show more concern about the gravity of the danger of the situation (they understand the drama associated with fear for instinctual self-preservation reasons), and make sure the distressed behavior is not directed at him but at the "threat" so that he doesn't feel like he is the direct cause of its existence. If he knows baby signs you can show him the sign for "hurt" as you gesture towards the outlet and oven door. And by all means, install outlet covers and an oven lock (try safe-tots.com).

Cynthia - posted on 07/08/2010

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The more you say no to baby/toddler the more they tune you out. Additionally, the less they try new things and explore less. I suggest with creating an environment where you say no less. And concentrate on praising him. Timeouts at this age are horrible. Toddlers are not short children. Their brains have not developed enough to grasp the understanding of a timeout. All that will accomplish is fear or sadness without understanding. Concentrating on encouraging a toddler will help him grow, build confidence, learn, explore, and focus on constructive skills. Lack of attention, being told no, or anything in a negative tone will encourage negative destructive behavior. I am not referring to exploring light sockets or oven door as this is normal and to encourage not exploring something is heartbreaking to me (just make it safe). A toddler has no idea why playing with an oven door is bad and playing with a door on a toy is ok. A toddler's world should be engaging and stress free not overwhelming and confusing.

Mary - posted on 07/07/2010

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We started my son out at age 12 months with a timeout chair. We use one of those fold up directors chairs just his size (works wonders when we travel to take with us) He knows what it is for. He is now 32 months old and will go to his chair when told to do so if he is acting out and needs to calm himself down. Babies need correction, start them out young and it will be the best thing, you'll see.

Cinda - posted on 07/07/2010

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My son is also 19 months. I went through the same thing that my son was laughing at me when I would say NO & thought that it was some sort of game. We still battle with him playing with 1 particular outlet b/c the lamp is plugged into it & likes to make the lamp go off buy pulling on the cord. Even though we have the outlet covered, he can still pull on the cord & giggle it out of the socket just enough to make the lamp flicker & turn off. He thinks it is hysterical! I was also doing the taps on the hand & butt with no luck. It took ONE TIME of me accidentally smacking his hand too hard. It made a firm cracking sound & made the back of his little hand a bit red. Apparently it stung enough to actually get his attention. He cried like I'd just killed him, of course, but he QUICKLY stopped thinking NO or hand/butt taps were a game. About 6-8 weeks ago, he started putting HIMSELF in the corner after he was naughty (I think he learned that at day care). So we've taken advantage of the corner as punishments too & it has greatly helped. Example, he likes to throw things when mad.
We use a STERN tone of voice with a scolding look and tell him, "No throwing." We then take the item thrown away from him, putting it out of his reach but still where he can see it and make him go stand in the corner. He can not have that item back until the next day. The standard 'time out' rule is 1 minute for every year of age, so 1 1/2 minute for our 19MOs. Our son HATES being or feeling alone. So making him face away from us, feeling seperated from us while standing in the corner is part of the punishment. When it's time to come out of the corner, we give hugs & kisses and quietly & calmly again tell him, "No throwing." Although he still does it, it HAS gotten better. I can't expect him to 100% STOP doing something after a few times in the corner. But I know he gets it & we just have to stay consistant with the punishments.
I thought that I was talking sternly to him but apparently not enough. My mom always said you have to use your 'Army Drill Sergeant" voice. You don't have to sound loud, just MEAN, which I found difficult at first.
I do NOT believe in the 'counting' method. You are teaching your child that they do NOT have to mind you right away, that they can continue to misbehave until they hear the word 'three'. I believe they need to learn to mind IMMEDIATELY for their own safety. If your child is reaching for something or running away from you and you tell them, "STOP!" They need to stop immediately, not 3 seconds later. 3 seconds later could mean they went ahead & grabbed that hot iron or pan or ran out into the street when you were telling them stop because they were waiting for you to count to 3 before they felt you meant what you said.
Distraction & re-direction have also been HUGE successes for us for less serious infractions or as a first attempt to get him to stop doing something or playing with something he shouldn't, etc. He wants to grab the inkpen off the desk, which he OBVIOUSLY can't have. Don't make a big deal about the pen or say, NO. That seems to make them want it all the more. As if they weren't grabbing for the pen, hand them something ELSE off the desk that they CAN play with asking them in a playful & happy voice if they want to play with this item you are handing them.
Our 19MO LOVES our dog, Sadie. We FREQUENTLY use her as the distraction & re-direction. "Where's Sadie?" we'll ask him. Let's go play with Sadie. Suddenly what ever he was wanting or doing is unimportant & he RUNS for the dog & hugs her, pets her, & loves on her.
Hope some of this helps.

Kim - posted on 07/07/2010

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Time out - sitting the child in a place free from distractions and hazards one minute for each year of age. My duaghter is now 3, but we have used time out on her since she was able to laugh at us when telling her no. She needed to know how serious no was. I would get on her level and frimly and evenly tell her no. If she didn't listen, I said firmly and in a even tone on her level, Mommy said no, if you don't listen you are going in time out. If she continued I said Mommy said No and you didn't listen and now you have a time out. When she got up I put her back and time did not start until she stayed. Now, the first couple of times, she didn't know what that was and continued on her path, but she caught on eventually. And she HATES not being part of the action so this has worked wonderfully. it was really hard at first because she would wail and kick and scream, but it has worked. Children need boundaries and consequences to feel loved. Patience, perserverence and consistency with a dash of love are the key to any discipline. You can do this!! Good luck!

Hayley - posted on 07/07/2010

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Problem one ... if it's dangerous and he's playing with it... you need some baby-proofing safety things. Pick them up at Walmart or Babies R Us or wherever.

Problem 2 .... time outs..... we started with my daughter at less than one year old. A couple of minutes in a chair in the corner and hopefully they eventually learn. My daughter is 2 and we're in full force of terrible 2s.... some days she spends lots of time in the corner... some days none... it's a part of growing up. But figure out a punishment and be consistent with it ... and make sure all people who watch your child know the punishment ritual so that it's consistent.

Jana - posted on 07/06/2010

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My daughter went through this stage. She is now 2. They don't understand what no means, but they know how to make you smile. So that is what he is trying to do. Same as the other moms have said-redirect, but tell him no and that it could hurt him. It takes a hundred times over for them to get what no means, and after they do then I would use time out. A minute per age. Whatever you chose be consistant.

Tanya - posted on 07/06/2010

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I try not to raise my voice generally so a loud sharp NO seems to work. Sometimes tho nothing will, so we've started a "Naughty step". It takes time but seems to be working.

Carly - posted on 07/06/2010

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My son is only 22 months and he is a little the same... I am hoping!!! That if you are consistant and always saying no to the same sort of things they will eventually learn - fingers crossed for both of us :o)

Other than that I have little plug things in the electrical sockets but in regards to the oven constantly NO NO NO NO

Ashley - posted on 07/05/2010

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What worked with my daughter was telling her No, explaining why its a no and if she continue to try she would get a time out. She gets to sit in a corner away from everyone else for a minute for year she is old

Mari - posted on 07/05/2010

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Be patient nd it will pas. I had the exact same problem with my little guy at about the same age and it didn't matter what I did or said nothing helped even a smach on the bum. It is just one of those stages that you hate and look forward it never happened. Just think of this ay like my mom says: little kids little problems, big kids big problems. It will go over trust me, it happened over night just be patient. They are just very playful at this age and curious. I know it is very hard and really frustrating. Try this, it helpd me, just imagine he is somebody elses child and you just ignore this. I know it sound really silly but it does help. I still do it and man my days are so rosy then :) Good luck and patient!

Olga - posted on 07/05/2010

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Hi Diana, I think punishing a 1yr old is not right or fair. Because all he knows is mum and dad are there to love him and care for him that's all he knows. At that age all kids dont understand the difference between what's right to or wrong they can't reason yet with u he is still a baby. The best thing you can do I would suggest is you go buy some locks so for the oven doors as well there are some child proof rubbers that you can fit on your taps that will stop him from twisting and opening the taps. Hence he will give up. You can put locks on cupboards that you don't want him to open or if your happy to leave one cupboard with just plastic containers open if you like so he can explore, there is nothing he can damage and be happy being around you in the kitchen. From the age of 19 months tapping works they stop when you tap them and say no. Sometimes they cry but the key is not to tap them and then cuddle them you will confuse him he wont learn. I have a 4.5yr old boy a 20months boy and a 4months bub girl. I hope my input might help help you decided what to do. X Olga

Sam - posted on 07/05/2010

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stop tapping , start really smacking : something that hurts bad but should not bruise or mark him. just maybe get red for a bit.

Summer - posted on 07/05/2010

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I have a 26 mo and we went through many of the same problems you are having. There are several different kinds of outlet covers you may need to try a few before you find the one that will work for you. When I would find my daughter playing with her heater I would smack her hand (so it stung) and then place her in time out. When her time out was over I would explain why she was there. At first this didn't seem to be working but then one day I was cleaning her room and asked her to get me something that was near the heater (the heater was off) and she refused to get it she told me "it hot mama". It might take some time but keep at it. As you know consistency is the key. Good luck.

Suzanne - posted on 07/04/2010

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The key to any disciplining at any age is educating yourself on child development and WHY your child is behaving the way he/she is. They do not come with instructions so I believe it is my job to educate myself. Here are 3 books I bought used from Amazon.com on the attachment parenting philosophy, that I just love!! They only cost about $2-$3 used.
The Discipine Book Everthing You Need to Know to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten, by William Sears, M.D.; Love, Limits, Lessons: A Parent's Guide to Raising Cooperative Kids by Bill Corbett; Connection Parenting: Parenting through Connection instead of Coercion, through Love instead of Fear, by Pam Leo.
Here's the website to A.P.I. (Attachment Parenting International)
http://www.attachmentparenting.org

Hey, I know we're all doing the best we can. No one said parenting was easy! Hope this helps. Wishing you all the best.

Suzanne

Cassie - posted on 07/04/2010

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my daughter is 20 monir.ths an from an early age i have always enforced the naughty chair , she will sit ther for a certain amount of time i give her 2 the count of three if she has not done what ive asked !ergo! "dont mess with the dvd" she is on the cah

Julie - posted on 07/04/2010

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I think discipline is a better word to use instead of punish...lol :)
Realistically, it is better to remove him from the situation instead of "taps" on the hand or butt....so just remove him from the situation and get him involved in an activity you know he will enjoy...it is really that simple!!

Nichole - posted on 07/04/2010

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Oh, and if he's doing something like going after a plug, I actually will flick his hand. It's just enough of a sting to get thier attention but it's not really painful. Sometimes it takes more than one to get his attention, but eventually it does and he doesn't go after my cords anymore! I just didn't like the thought of smacking his hand because he already has a tendency to hit without realizing it and I didn't want to enforce it. I find flicking to be very effective. Hope this helps!

Nichole - posted on 07/04/2010

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You should try time out. Kids that age are so into doing what they want, that making them sit is very effective. My son is also 19mos, and I do this with him. I got tired of him smacking the dog or pulling his sisters hair so I just very firmly say "Sit DOWN!" and if he doesn't do it, I take his hands and gently pull down, and if that doesn't work, I pick him up and make him sit on his butt, for about a minute or two. I don't have a special spot for him yet, I simply make him sit wherever he is and he has to sit there until I tell him it's ok to get up. And then whoever he wronged, be it the dog, his sister, or if he was just being distructive then it's me, gets a hug and and he has to say sorry. If he's not willing to do that, he sits down for another minute. I feel that this is especially effective with boys who always want to be on the move. It brings immediate tears almost every time, lol. But then he's much more careful for a little while so that it doesn't happen to him again:-)

Melinda - posted on 07/04/2010

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We did time outs for our oldest daughter at 1 year when we realized she knew exactly what we were saying. Our youngest does what you are saying with the no's. So, we are doing time outs with her when the warnings have not been heeded. She can't sit in one spot for a minute, but she can sit in her high chair turned away from the rest of us for the minute with an explaination a the end.

Good luck and know you are not alone :)

Amy - posted on 07/04/2010

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I have three kids in the toddler age range(1-3). I have similar problems with them. I will firmly correct them and if behavior continues, which it usually does, I put them in the corner. 1 minute for each year. 1 minute doesn't seem long, but to them it is an eternity. MY 20 month old stands in the corner just like my 3 year old does. He cries and honestly it is so cute him standing there looking so sad that I am tempted to let him out early, but I do not. After timeout I make sure to remind them why they got into trouble and then tell them how much I love them and give them a big hug and kiss. It is working it takes time and persistence though.

Asha - posted on 07/04/2010

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If your child is laughing he probably doesn't know you are serious. The best way then is to make his surroundings safer for him. Probably make the outlets and doors inaccessible. They would eventually know its hands off. At this stage they are still happily exploring the world and they don't deserve a punishment :)

Karlie - posted on 07/04/2010

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i agree with sarah time out and being firm is good another thing i find helpfull is getting down to there eye level and tellin them firmly! Good luck!

Angela - posted on 07/04/2010

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My sons the same way. He likes to hit his brother thats his biggest problem, but gets into everything too. I shut him in our room so no toys are around. I dont put him in there very long. I then open the door and tell him to say sorry or give kisses. fi he doesnt I put him back in until he does. They understand more then we think. Even if he can't say sorry correctly he can show it other ways(expression,hugs...)If you are consistant with having him apologize and explain to him what is wrong slowly in short clear sentences he will learn that those words and actions are connected with being bad. He is still young so hes not going to have a clear understanding without any consequences, because they don't know what consequences are. My son learned the hard way with the oven. He lifted himself up on the handle and it opened so he flew back. Sure he cried/got bumps but he hasnt done it since. Hope this helps.

Jennifer - posted on 07/04/2010

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Hi Diana,
I have no solution to this problem because my son, also 19 months does the same thing. The funny thing is he listens when other people say no. When I say no he laughs and continues the behavior, trying to pull a cord out of an outlet or touch decorations...you are not alone! But just try constistant reinforcement and distraction with another object. Good luck!

Poonam - posted on 07/03/2010

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Please realize that this is a very tender age we are talking about ...fact being only one ....that is they can't reason in their minds or for that matter understand .... tell them "stop U'll get hurt" doesn't mean anything ...until they get hurt ....Also their actions are a reflection of our reaction ... if we laugh ...they do it again...
I do have a suggestion there is this book and CD set miracle on which I got my hands on = "The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp" read the book and watch the CD both help incredibly - my daughter responded extremely well to the solutions mentioned - GOOD LUCK

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