How old is too old to shower with mommy?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Crystal - posted on 04/07/2011
I have a 8 yr girl, 6 yr boy and a 3yr girl. There are times when time is slim and its easier to double up on showers. I have showered with each of my kids and all ages. I honestly don't see a problem with it. Yes they ask questions, but wouldnt YOU rather be the one to answer those. They have to learn sometime. I would just keep in mind the age appropiate answers. Don't give a 3yr old a detailed answer, but you can do that with an 8yr old. I fully believe in honesty with your children. I don't see why people would feel uncomfortable in a shower with your kid. It's your kid. Kids don't care.......their kids.
Karen - posted on 04/02/2011
i think it's whenever YOU become uncomfortable. it's going to be a normal thing to the child and they most likely wouldn't become uncomfortable until they are older (5ish or beyond). it's the parents who become uncomfortable at an earlier age as they don't enjoy the staring and curious questions. it can be a great opportunity to begin opening the lines of communication by giving honest answers about body differences. my son is 18.5 months and i shower with him (not regularly but when we're pressed for time) without a second thought and don't really see a need to stop anytime soon.
Vicki - posted on 04/05/2011
I don't think I can answer this one... um, puberty? Although I'm sure he'll want to stop showering with Mum much earlier than that! Could also get a bit crowded. He's 21 months at the moment and I have no problem with it. He points at my genitals, his, his dad's. I say 'yes that's Daddy's penis/Mummy's vagina' depending on who is naked at the time when he points. I think the interest is healthy and enables him to understand that bodies are normal not shameful in any way.
Dora - posted on 04/04/2011
I don't think you can really put an age on that. It really all depends on what your family believes in and how comfortable everyone is. My son will be 3yrs old and even though he doesn't shower with me he sees me get dressed all the time. It doesn't bother me and it doesn't seem to bother him. We try not to make the human body a negative thing in our household. He knows boys have penises and girls don't. We try to answer his questions as best as possible in terms he can understand and that are appropriate. Also we have found by being open about the human body it is easier to explain privacy. He already knows that no one is ever allowed to touch his penis and he is not allowed to touch anyone else's penises/girl parts.
Melissa - posted on 04/03/2011
I think it's good to allow a child to grow up seeing differences in men and women. That will help them better understand when they're older what people mean as far as "girls room" and "boys room". When raising my brothers I always made it a point to be as honest with them as possible, without crossing lines or telling them things they really didn't need to know yet. If they asked a question that was a little too in depth I would simply say "that's a grown up thing, we can talk about that later" and they were always satisfied with that answer. I plan on being the same way with my son and any future children we have. I think the more honest and open you are, the more comfortable they are.
Casey - posted on 07/20/2011
I will still through my soon to be 4 year old son in the shower. We also dont always clothes the bathroom door in our house. I just explain to him that boys and girls are a little different and other peoples pee pees are for them not anyone else. This isnt an all the time thing just when he needs a shower and we are short on time. It all depends on the child.
I personaly agree with Genia. There is nothing wrong with nudity. My 3 year old will point parts out when he does see me naked. I just tell him what the park is and that they are suposed to be private.
Mell - posted on 07/19/2011
I was going to ask the same question! I still bathe with my son who is going to be 4 this august.
Half of the time i dont get a say in the matter anyway he will just walk in when im in the bath strip off and jump in! Im not uncomfortable with it ive always had a really relaxed approach when it comes to these things its just the way i was brought up, when he gets uncomfortable with bathing with me then he will bath on his own but i dont see a problem with it i did think people would think it was weird that i still do this but judging by alot of the parents on here its not uncommon which makes me feel alot better :) Plus its a good way of teaching him about the body i answer any questions he has and theres no uncomfortable feelings about it thats how he learned about why he dosent have boobies and mummy does
Miki - posted on 04/14/2011
I agree with Genia, I think that children (boys & girls) need to see what a normal human body lloks like. This society drills "perfect" body type into everyones brains. My sons are 5yrs & 4yrs in May, & although the 5yr old perfers a bath alone to have more room the younger one often takes a shower with my husband or myself. They both know that boys have a penis & girls have a vagina, & I don't think that there should be a problem with questioning the differences. And even though we don't shy away from nudety they know what privacy is too.
My sister-in-law is so paranoid about nakedness that her kids FREAK out if they come over & my boys are running around in their underwear. I think is creats much more awareness & embarrassment, for everyone, if you make a big deal about it.
Meghan - posted on 04/13/2011
I say stop whenever you or your toddler become uncomfortable with it. My son is 3 and we still shower together. He knows the difference between male and female parts as well as the the anatomical names for everything. His best friend is a girl and they go to the bathroom together and both ask questions so both are very aware of male/female differences. If he stares or tries to touch I just explain to him that those are my private parts and I don't want him to touch them just like no one can touch his without his permission.
Krissy - posted on 04/08/2011
my boy didnt ask til last yr and he is now 5 ( he also has high functioning autism) he kept on saying mummys doddle and daddys doodle and j's doodle lol its hard when you cant expliane more than yes its a little different. my girl who s now 21 months has for the best part in the last 1-2 months started to notice the difference and dady has given up on showering with her as she finds at her height 'it ' facinating but really its all about mumma ,mumma ,mumma,in the end lol. my boy still asks to be in the bath or shower but i only have a shower with him if we are running late and i can deflect the ramblings -not questions of my son, as he doesnt understand the easy replys or no more as he just cant stop going on about it. i really would say only if your in a situation you need to have a shower with him by the time he is about 6.
Jaclyn - posted on 04/07/2011
My husband and I both take showers with our 3 year old. He's asked the odd question about our different bits but I think it's healthy for him to know girls and boys are different. He enjoys it and it's SO much quicker easier! I don't know when we'll stop probably not until he wants to. It's not a big deal and I want him to feel comfortable with himself and I think if I suddenly said, 'it's not ok to shower with Mommy anymore.' It would make him feel bad about himself, or feel like something was wrong with him and I never want that cause he's perfect!
Jackie - posted on 04/07/2011
I didnt shower with my son, but he would come in to the bathroom while i was showering, but when he started school i explained that he was a big boy now and he wasnt able to see mummy naked. so when i was getting change or in the shower/bath, that he couldnt come in, and if he didnt want me in when he was inthe bath that that was fine too. But it was because i was starting to feel abit uncomfortable, as i didnt want him going to school telling the teachers about mummy being in the shower.
Jennifer - posted on 04/06/2011
i have 4 kids 7 months 2 1/2 and 8 yr old boys and a 6 yr old girl wile the older 2 are pretty much on their own in the tub or shower the 2 yr old and baby both bathe with either me or their dad all 4 of mine are developementally behind so it has taken themmuch longer to begin to notice things are different my oldest 2 will waltz into the bathroom no matter if someone is in there or not we have tried to teach them that we need privacy but they don't seem to understand it they really still don't ask too much i think the only thing my 8 yr old son asked me if mypenis had fallen off lol i told him no that god just made boys and girls dfferently and that was that i also openly nurse the baby in front of all my children i guess i figure they will have a healthy understanding of what our body parts are for we are very comfortable with our bodies and while we won't run around nude we don't hurry the kids out the door if the barge in and we are changing or quick close the door after shoving them out i just simply tell tehm can you please give me a min so mommy can get dressed and they usually go find something else to do my oldest thankfully seems to be finally getting the whole privacy thing though i am not sure he fully understand s why so i guess my answere would have to agree with many that its when either you or the child becomes uncomfortable with it and this can vary widely in the childrens ages thanks to developemental delays it has taken much longer with ours don't get me wrong i have been working on the whole privacy matter for several years now only to recently start to have them begin to get it
Rachel - posted on 04/06/2011
I'd agree that it's when one of you becomes uncomfortable. I personally still shower with my six year old son from time to time, probably once a week. I bathed with him daily until he was about 4. He obviously noticed the differences between us years ago, and I used it as a teaching experience. He knows that boys and girls are different, men and women are different, he knows what breasts are for, etc... he also understands that outside of the family, he needs to keep his clothes on. He also understands that sometimes people want privacy, and sometimes he wants it himself. For us, bathing together was a great way to very, very, gradually teach about the body without it ever being an uncomfortable topic. I wouldn't do it any other way.
Genia - posted on 04/06/2011
well, for me I don't have a problem with my children noticing the difference in parts, and even WANT them to see what normal adult bodies should look like (as opposed to the victoria's secret model bodies they are bombarded with in the media). Hence the reason my 6 and almost 9 year old sons still see both myself and my husband naked fairly often. I haven't showered/bathed with the oldest in quite a while - there's just no room and he's slowly starting to want a little privacy. I occasionally bathe with the 6 yo, but again he wants his own bath so he can have more room to play, lol. That's only happened when I've been taking a baby with their baby sister and he's wanted to jump in. It was very cramped, lol! We are all comfortable with nudity here. =)
Allie - posted on 04/05/2011
LOL I love this question! Unfortunately, I don't have a good answer because I have only showered with him once and he was only a few months at the time and kept trying to nurse the whole time! He does, however, still bathe with my husband in the BIG tub (on occasion) and he's almost three. (and he showered with my husband until he decided he didn't like the shower anymore and preferred the tub.)
Vicki - posted on 04/05/2011
Ok everyone I'd like to explore this a little further with a question. WHY does it worry so many of you that your boys notice the difference between their genitalia and yours? Most of us drum into our children the difference between boys and girls constantly, through clothes, toy choices, language (beautiful girl, brave boy) etc. Even those of us who try to reduce that kind of thing do it (myself included) due to societal norms. We brush our girls hair into pigtails and trot our boys off the hairdresser at 10 months. However when they notice the fundamental difference between males and females that is a worrisome or bad thing?
What about it worries you? Honest query here, not hassling at all.
Danika - posted on 04/05/2011
I've had this exact subject come up between my boyfriend and myself. My boyfriend will not shower with my son, but I do all the time. It is almost impossible to take a shower or bath without him because he thinks that he needs to be in there with me. It is starting to become worry some not because he has noticed the difference between mommy and himself, but because he refuses to bath or shower by himself. That is the real struggle in my house during bath time, and a lot of the time I usually give up and take a shower with him just to get him clean.
Valerie - posted on 04/05/2011
I only just recently stopped letting my son shower with me. He is 3 1/2 yrs old. I still change in front of him some but he has begun wanting privacy and shutting the door sometimes when he goes potty. So we talked about privacy together too. I am a single parent and believe you me it is easier just to put him in the shower with me but I felt it had to be done some time, so better sooner than later.
Claire - posted on 04/03/2011
My son is 2 and a half and still showers with me. I dont think its that big of a deal cause he doesnt know or care about the differences in us. I think it depends on him. But I will say if your son is 10, that might be a little weird! I think I will probably stop around or before he turns 4. But if you think about it modesty is a modern concept, years and years ago everyone was running around near naked!
Laureen - posted on 04/03/2011
Personally ive never felt comfy showering with my little boy, although sometimes if its just me and him in the house and i need to shower, i leave the door open incase he needs me. He will sometimes come waltzing into the bathroom already stripped and demand i let him in lol and of couse i let him but i tend to face away from him, dont know why that is though x
Casey - posted on 04/03/2011
You'll know when it's time to stop, he'll either start getting to curious and asking to many questions or he'll just start saying no. I think it's a personal decision that every parent had to make for themselves, some kids catch on to "private parts" and differences between mummies and daddies quicker then others. I have a 2 and half year old son and he doesn't shower with me but he always comes into the bathroom while I am showering (we have an all glass shower) and I don't think he has noticed that mummy is different to him and daddy so I don't think it's a problem yet.
Melissa - posted on 04/02/2011
My son is only 15 months right now, so we still shower together. However, when I was younger my mom was our sole provider and worked 3 jobs, so I basically raised my brothers. My youngest, who is 10 years younger than me, showered with me until he was 4 and started to really explore himself. That's when I started explaining to him that boys and girls are different, and that he's a big boy now and big boys get to have the bath tub all to themselves!
Donna-Marie - posted on 04/02/2011
If it is a girl, never. If my daughter wants to join me in a shower I will happily shower with her. Think about it you go to the Swimming Pool or Gym and shower with female strangers so why would you not shower with your daughter. If it's a boy, I personally would not when they are at an age that they notice that mummy's itzy bitzy's are different from theirs and that is probably at 2. Every child is different in relation to curiosity but just say to yourself if he is asking questions already that shows you he is aware that things are different between you and him then there is a high probability that his inquisitive mind may cause him to stare or look at parts that are not for him to look at other than when he was being birthed (lol) so it's best to not shower with boys past the age of 18 months to 2 years and maybe before if your little man is very inquisitive. I would say this goes the same for dads and their little girls too.
Theresa - posted on 04/02/2011
I don't think there is a certain age. I think it's more when the child starts to notice and take interest in differences with body parts. I think you need to take your ques from the child. I never actually showered with my sons, but he used to come into the bathroom with me while I showered. He was a little over 3 when he pointed to my pubic hair and told me I hadn't gotten all the poopy washed off. I decided that since he was noticing things maybe it was time for him to not be in with me any more. We had a talk about privacy. I told him that when people don't have clothes on (showering, changing, etc) they like privacy. I told him that it was OK for him to have privacy too. That was alos the time that I bagan to kock on his door if he had it closed. I thought that was the best way for him to learn what he was supposed to do when someone else had a door closed.
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