How to punish a 19 month old? PLEASE HELP

Tesla - posted on 07/19/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )




okay my daughter is 19 months old and she is very smart she says over 25 words on her own. She says sentences example: "Mommy look pretty". She can also count to six. So she should understand no right? Well she just started to hit and she hits me in the face and when I explain to her, "no mackenzie you cant hit mommy" and I put her in time out she laughs and kicks at me and gets up. I dont want to spank her because for one she is way to young, and it dont make since to say dont hit mommy then i hit her. I dont want to put her in her crib for time out because I dont want to confuse her. Her bed is suppost to be a place to sleep. Then when i put her to bed at night she will cry and think she is in trouble. Do you have any suggestions/storys please help.



Sam - posted on 07/19/2010




nominate a chair in the house or a corner and that can be the naughty chair/step and when u put her in the time out, if she gets up you keep putting her back down but dont talk to her and dont scold, just explain why she is sat there and then walk away, continue to put her there until she has sat still for a minute or apologised for her behaviour and meant it!!! My daughter apologises when she has done wrong and then we have a kiss and a cuddle to show that the apology is worth it, then we talk about why it isnt nice to hit.throw toys etc:

Hope it helps!!


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Ev - posted on 03/14/2017




Jennifer--you are going to be repeating a lot to get him to do what you want to do. Unfortunately, you can not child proof everything. He has to learn what is accepted and not accepted as okay to do. Distraction and using no that is not safe are the best alternatives to use at his age because he is not going to understand long drawn out explaninations of things. Once you have repeated things enough, he will learn what you want him to do.

Jenniferoverstreet26 - posted on 03/14/2017




Hello I am new here and I have a rambunctious 19 month old. He is a sweet boy but our issues lately have been him climbing on furniture that can be dangerous. I have baby proofed the house as much as I can but he just is determined to get up on things.... I dunno how to discipline him really I'm stuck in repetition with him. I try to give him as much independence as I can but he's just a determined lil guy. If anyone has any advice I would love it. Thanks a bunch!! :)

[deleted account]

I have found the techniques in "Love and Logic" work wonders. It is a no spanking parenting technique. Just google them.

My son went through a BRIEF biting phase and time outs worked for that. Later on he did a hitting phase - and time out did NOT work for this. Just as Olwen suggested, telling my son other ways to express his frustration, (like hugging himself), worked wonders.

Also just like Olwen I had a "yes" household, rather than saying, "Don't Touch!" I said instead, "This is a Look Only!" - we would actually play games practicing on his toys, looking only and looking and touching!

[deleted account]

Hi Tesla,

As well as doing the naughty spot, a good trick is too change your wording around. Kids won't respond to a negative so instead of saying no and don't do that, flip it around to an action that they can do. So for example. No, don't hit me becomes.put your hands down, you can only kiss mommy on the face. you get my point, your not saying no, your just telling them what to do. Another example is, don't spill your drink, number one why would they want to spill the drink. You say, keep the water in the glass. I know it sounds funny but it works. Instead of them hearing no no no all day and getting immune to it, your giving them an instruction. It's very clever.

Tristan - posted on 07/29/2010




discipline at 19 months (or any age) doesn't need to require punishment. repeated explanation and an authentic reaction to being hit will show your daughter that it's not a nice thing to do. she wants to please you - she's just pushing your buttons to see what will happen. stick to your guns, explain and then divert - remove her attention to something else. the phase will end. the more she talks (and here you're lucky she's talking early) the less she will need to express herself physically rather than verbally.

[deleted account]

My daughter was a hitter as well! I had to do the time out. I would put her in her room for two minutes, ( she would tear the room apart during this time). But it worked!
As I put her in her room, I calmly said "you have time out for two minutes because you ...hit mommy" after her time was up, I would kneel down and ask if she could tell me why she was in time out, If she could ( which she could) i would tell her hitting hurts and it is not nice, She would say she was sorry . We always gave hugs and or kisses at the end of the time out, I also made her clean her room up so we could go back downstairs. It took about 2 days, then she stopped hitting,
Now, I count down from 3 ( cause she is 3) in between 2 and 1, I remind her of her options, ( clean up or get a time out) and she is usually on the move by two. Once in awhile she will wait for me to hit one and scream NO TIME OUT! but you have to follow through with your threats or they will walk all over you!

I don't think time out in her room is detremental to her sleeping either, Her room is her safe spot, So if she is angry and needs to hit a [pillow, she can do it in her room. I never reprimand her if she tears her room apart during a time out, we just clean it up. I think it is hard for children this young to control their emotions and they do not have venues of release like we do. I feel that being in her room, she can act how she wants during her "moments".
Hope it helps!

Jessie - posted on 07/20/2010




take a favorite toy away. tell her toy is in time out and put it up high where she cant reach it, and until she can behave give it back.
my son is 18 months old and this has worked. he use to bite all the time, now he hasn't bitten since.

[deleted account]

I have a little boy in my dayhome who is 18 months. At about 16.5 months he was being mean to the littler kids (hitting them, pushing them down when they tried to stand up, tantruming) so I talked to his mom and we did time outs. At first he would just stand in the spot and play by himself. However, I put him in time out one day when the other kids were watching tv and he freaked so I did his timeouts the next few times he missed tv and he was not impressed and got the point of time outs. He stopped the behaviour in a couple of weeks! He got a 1 minute time out and I set a timer for him and he could come out when it went off and I would tell him why he was in trouble, etc.. Also, you could try taking things away from her...maybe you hit mommy and hurt me so your ___ toy is gone for the rest of the day. If you don't do more bad actions then mommy will give it back to you tomorrow...or something to the like!

Katherine - posted on 07/19/2010




My daughter went through stage of hitting and everytime she hit someone, we told her thats not nice and that she'd hurt whoever it was that she hit. It took a little while but she got over that phase. I think for some kids its just a phase .... it might also be the only way she's learnt how to get a reaction out of Mum & Dad. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Ohhhh time out at that age about breaks the parent! My kiddos are a little over 2 and there were days when I thought teaching the time out was going to kick my butt! We use the same spot on the floor in about 3 areas of our home. We jsut keep sitting the kids until they finally sit. Sometimes in the beginning we would tag team my husband and I so we didnt loose our cool w/ them.

Now they both (usually) sit and we also do the rediretion you were sitting b/c blab w/ them hug & kiss & im sorry. It just adventually works...but it STINKS until it does. Esp for 1-2 minutes...20 minutes of RUNNING...but it does get better.


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