i dont know what to do with my 17 month old.. im going crazy

Milet - posted on 05/06/2012

Hi, I do not want to scare you< but maybe you should have her tested for sensory issues, it sounds like a possibility. Search " Easy to love but hard to raise" on google (http://www.easytolovebut.com), and also have a look on ADHD sites (ex: ADDmagazine). You will find more information there on sensory issues and what it's all about. Might give you a better idea if this might be what is bothering your little one. Hope this helps.

Sara - posted on 05/06/2012

Try havi.g play dates a few times a week,she will notice other kids behavor and might settle down.
mabe shes just high energy and needs to get a little worn out.
This may not be the case but try it and see if her attitude changes.
Being fully stimulated in mind and physical actions might wind her down

Krista - posted on 05/02/2012

In Katherine's defense, your post IS rather difficult to understand, Tosha. It wasn't at all clear in your post as to whether or not your child actually did have a milk allergy. That is why Katherine was asking those questions -- simply to obtain clarification. Sorry if you found that insulting, but we don't know you or how "smart" you are -- we've had some mothers on here who very well might NOT have known that cottage cheese counts as dairy. So that's why clarification is sometimes needed, instead of us just assuming stuff.

At any rate, this definitely sounds like something is seriously wrong. And unfortunately, some doctors do seem to just want mothers to shut up and go away. I do wonder if Sarah's right about it being sensory processing disorder.

Here are some of the characteristics: "Children can be born hypersensitive or hyposensitive to varying degrees and may have trouble in one sensory modality, a few, or all of them. Hypersensitivity is also known as sensory defensiveness. Examples of hypersensitivity include feeling pain from clothing rubbing against skin, an inability to tolerate normal lighting in a room, a dislike of being touched (especially light touch) and discomfort when one looks directly into the eyes of another person."

It may be worthwhile looking into this to see if it helps. I don't know where you're located, but here is the link to SPD Canada. They might be able to help you find a doctor in your area who has experience with this, and who can check for it. http://www.spdcanada.org/

Sneaky - posted on 05/02/2012

What? So you were told that your child was allergic to milk and eggs but have NOT had any allergy testing done??

Yeah, maybe you should try ruling out some of the medical conditions your doctors have suggested before attacking other mothers for trying to help you.

@ Kelly, FYI, the majority of us know that all caps can be indicative of shouting. They can also be used to HIGHLIGHT an idea, which is useful when there is no underline or italics options.

Katherine - posted on 05/02/2012

Well it wasn't meant to sound that way, and thanks I know that. I'm admin of 15 communities here including the welcome page. Been here for 5 years. So I apologize if it was taken that way. But in my defense I did ask her if she had grown out of it.

Kelly - posted on 05/02/2012

Katherine when you put things in caps it generally indicates shouting. If you look back at your post you will see it looks like you are shouting and hammering her with questions. It comes across as if you are snapping at her.

Katherine - posted on 05/01/2012

You asked for suggestions, I am NOT treating you like an idiot by any means. I was merrily asking what happens before she has her meltdowns.

Katherine - posted on 05/01/2012

That's why I asked if she had grown out of it!

Tosha - posted on 05/01/2012

I’m pretty sure I’m smart enough to know not to feed a child cottage cheese is she is allergic to milk!... if you read correctly I said that those are the things I have been told none of which have been proven, now if it did bother her I would not feed it to her ;) I have been writing things down and have seen many people which is also what I said above.
I came to this site looking for advice from other mothers not to be talked to like I’m an idiot but thank you for your useless hypothesis Katherine Collins

Katherine - posted on 05/01/2012

I agree with the sensory issue part. What happens right BEFORE she starts crying? You need to start writing this down. What happens right BEFORE the tantrum? If she has a milk allergy then shouldn't you NOT be feeding her cottage cheese? Or did she grow out of it?

She needs to see a specialist. It's not normal for a child to be that unhappy. What other foods does she eat? Maybe she has acid reflux, maybe she is hypersensitive, I don't know. All I know is that this behavior is not typical of a 17 month old.

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2012

Have you thought about sensory issues? Different kinds of fabrics, foods, touches, etc. can bother them. For some kids even different sounds. It is like they have an over sensitive sensory. For the sounds their ears hear almost too well and the simple noises we hear are so loud and piercing to them. Same with touches or different textures.

Kelly - posted on 04/30/2012

I would find a new doctor. Something seems off. She sounds like she is in pain. I did have one who was not a cuddler and after i figured it out things went well. Some of it sounds behavioral but if she is hurting and doesn't understand it she might be lashing out by thowng food at you etc. I would seek another opinion. Be very clear and record what occurs in a day. food she eats in a week. Take some facts written down to support you so they don't just see you as the tired mother or a typical toddler.

Nicky - posted on 04/30/2012

I know someone who's son is the same way. He doesnt like to be touched, hugged, cuddled etc.. Also angers easily. I wouldnt take what I say to heart because I am far from being a doctor but his son has sensory issues. Im unsure of the exact name for it but as I said he doesnt like to be touched. He is only in first grade and was kicked out of kindergarden many times for anger issues, he has also been kicked out of first grade for the same. He was sent to the principle and trashed his office! He is now on medication to help him and I guess its helping alot. His parents couldnt handle him anymore so they had to seek counseling for help on what to do. I dont want to scare you and im not saying this is whats going on, but I would seek help to get it under control before it gets out of control. GOODLUCK HUN! I hope things get better for the both of you.

Alison - posted on 04/30/2012

Tosha,
This sounds like a VERY challenging situation. This is not typical behavior and I totally understand that you are feeling exhausted and exasperated! Your doctor is not taking you seriously because this behavior doesn't fit into any of the boxes that he learned from his text book. I strongly encourage you to turn to other professionals - probably a social worker would be a good start.

Your poor little one is obviously struggling and you both need to get help.

Hang in there and don't give up!