I want to have another baby but not sure if i could love it as much as my first she is so perfect...

Brittany - posted on 02/25/2010 ( 22 moms have responded )

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I want to have another child but I love my daughter so much, that I am not sure if I could love another child the same. She brings so much joy into my life and I simply adore her. My entire world revolves around her. I wouldnt want to subject another child to feelings of inferiority. My family says that those feelings go away when you have another because even though you dont think you have room for more love, you will always have love for all your children no matter how many. Any thoughts from moms with more than one child, that felt the same way before their second?

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Samantha - posted on 02/26/2010

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We are due with our second in June. Our son will be 3 in may. I tell my husband that I worry that our son wont receive the same attention he receives now from us but I have no doubt in my mind that this child will be loved just as much. As we near towards spring I've been getting excited because I can't wait to share this little one with my son. I can't wait to watch them interact and love each other. My mother told me you grow more and more love each time you have another....impossible as it may seem. I honestly am looking forward to falling in love all over again when this new one comes!

Annie - posted on 02/25/2010

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Your love does grow; it's a wonderful amazing thing. The idea that you can love a little person so much and then you have that baby and you would really give your own life for that child. Then the next one comes and you look at them in wonder and awe and the love in your heart for these two beautiful little spirits is indescribable. My first two were planned; a girl and then a boy. They were perfect and smart and I was so happy, and content with them. Then when my boy was 7 months old, I found out I was 3 months pregnant with my precious little surprise. At first we laughed because that was the farthest thing from our minds; then the realness set in and I was scared about so many things as you can imagen, but when we had our second boy it was like he was really supposed to be our baby and we needed him. If we could have changed things we wouldn't have. We never skipped a beat it was like he had always been apart of our family. He has reached his 1st birthday and my love for him continues to deepen as it does for my 1st and 2nd every day. Sometimes I stop what I am doing and just stare at them in amazement at all that they are to me. If you ever have another baby you will no longer have to worry about enough love believe me and your mom and everyone else that says you will love your 2nd just as much as ur 1st. Have you ever asked someone about this topic and they said " you know I don't love my 2nd as much as my first"? Don't worry.....:o)

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Pat - posted on 03/13/2011

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you have enough love! and you may enjoy the infancy more because you will know more what to expect and are a little more relaxed!

Stacey - posted on 03/01/2010

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I felt exactly the same as you and I hate to say it but I felt quite numb during my 2nd pregnancy because of this, but when my son was born I instantly fell completely in love with him. I think most mums seem to feel like this but they always love every child they have it will just happen naturally! x

Courtney - posted on 02/28/2010

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I felt the same way but when i had my 2nd child it all changed..It feels a little different but you do love them the same! Your heart will grow with each child i believe! There will always be a special bond between you and ur 1st but you shouldnt worry you will love ur other kids just as much!

Niamh - posted on 02/28/2010

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I was the same and u will so love ur next Child. I have 2 sons and there is 19 months between the . Am Madly in love with both of them and they are great together. Dont worry and go for it.

Rebecca - posted on 02/27/2010

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I have 5 beautiful children that I love equally. Each one brings a different kind of light into my life. God has blessed me! Every child is a gift from God. You have eough love to give as log as you're willig to give it. My first child is the leader and my helper. My 2nd is a fun loving daredevil. My 3rd is the sweetest little girl. My 4th is a very independant life loving 2 yr old. My 5th is only 1, so his personality is still developing, but he is the sweetest little boy. I also think that the greatest gift we can give our child is a sibling. My kids might not always get along, but they love each other!

Trista - posted on 02/27/2010

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Everyones right. I love my second just the same as I love my first. I adore them both so very much. That amazing feeling of falling in love with your perfect child is there for number two just the same as with number one which to be honest I didn't expect.

Crystal - posted on 02/26/2010

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My first child was a blessing to me, I had had miscarriages before her, and when she was born she wasn't breathing, they had to revive her. I knew she was a blessing and I have so much love for her. Then I started to miss the baby phases and thought about another one but as you feel how would I love the next one to? I had my second child and I love him just the same. I also love my third child just the same. Us moms have a way of showing unconditional love for each child, I believe it comes naturally. I'm not sure how but it just does. I believe you will naturally love the second child just as much as the first. Keep in mind every pregnancy and every child is different.While the first might have slept through the night doesn't mean the next one will to. Hope this helps and Good luck.

Melanie - posted on 02/26/2010

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I wonder the same thing. My son just amazes me and I am not sure I will be as appreciative of the experience if I were to go a second time around. I sure I could love another, just not sure if it would be the same. Good question and some inspiring answers here though that give me pause.

Rachelle - posted on 02/26/2010

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I have a daughter that is my first and I love her more than I thought possible! I also have a 9 yr old stepson that I have been with since he was 3. You can love your children more than you think humanly possible no matter how many there are! I love my stepson as though he were mine from the beginning...there is no limit to love!

Maggie - posted on 02/26/2010

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I think everyone feels that way. It's hard to imagine having that much love to give, that you have to share what you have between the two. I have two kids and I love them both with all my heart.
That being said, they are completely different people. You won't love your kids the same way because you'll have a completely different relationship with each of them. Kind of like you love your parents but you love them in different ways.

Yvonne - posted on 02/25/2010

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i have two boys one 10 and one nearly two i thought the same as you espessially with the age gap but i love them both the same unconditionally your love just grows and you could have 2,3,4, how many children you want and you will love them all the same a mum has enough love for all her kids no matter what

Carolee - posted on 02/25/2010

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I have the same fears. You just have to go for it and hope for the best! I'm currently pregnant with #2, and my mom assures me that I will love this one just as much as I love my son.

Tekisha - posted on 02/25/2010

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i was scared to bring that up when i was having my second daughter. So i never did, i just told myself i would do the best i can wit her. When i got preg. with her my oldest was 6mons old and i really didnt want to keep her. and your question was 1 of the reasons. but after i had her all of my worries went out the window. i love her just as much as the other and wouldn't change it for the world. They are the best thing that ever happened to me.and i can't wait til june to have my 3rd. And my daughters are more excited then me.

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Once you have another baby you are going to worry that your daughter thinks that she isn't loved...odd how the tables will turn :) When I was pregnant w/#2 I wasn't worried that I wouldn't love him per say...but the pregnancy wasn't as "magical" as the first one...I'd gone through all of it before and blah blah blah...but we tried to get pregnant and it didn't happen right away so I was trying not to get my hopes up kinda thing and that frame of mind kinda spoiled the whole thing for me :( plus having to run around after a 2 year old and not taking the time to cuddle and stuff like we did when we were alone w/the first pregnancy...if you get what I mean. But now that my handsome son has been with us for the last 5 mos I'm soo thrilled to have them both! The way my 1st born acts w/his brother just makes me beam!!! My heart just grows soo big to see him love his little brother, to try explaining things to him, to bring him toys when he is sad or crying, to sing to him to calm him down, and do funny things to make him laugh! It's soo special to see the two interact with each other! Our baby loves his brother soo much! He will watch him move around the house and tries to jump out of my lap to go play with him...but of course at 5 mos old is too young to be chasing his brother :) it is such a wonderful family dynamic that I am soo glad that I had 2! :) I wish I wouldn't have had such a bad mood during my pregnancy but if you can avoid that everything afterwards is soo special!

Amanda - posted on 02/25/2010

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I asked my Mom the same thing before I got preggers with this one. And honnestly seeing my daughter with other children especialy babies I wouldn't not want her to experience having a sibling. I love this new baby & she isn't even born yet. My Mom explained that you do love all your children the same....you may just relate to one better than another based on personality.

So if you do want more kids, I wouldn't worry about not loving the next one...you will!

Alyssa - posted on 02/25/2010

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I feel the same but MANY of people have told me that they felt the same way and when the other baby comes along, there was more than enough love to go around. Good Luck!! :-)

Alyssa M.
Helping Moms Work From Home
www.4theLoveofMyFamily.com

Candice - posted on 02/25/2010

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I feel the exact way as you! I have said I will have no more because of that fear! How could I even think of loving another the same way...theres soooooo much love and feeling for the first is there any more possible room in a heart to love another the same way!?

Chrissy - posted on 02/25/2010

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i felt the same way about my lil girl when i got pregnent with my son but your moms right youll have the same feelings for your child i cried alot like shes going to think i dont love her lol but she loves her now almost 5 yr old brother

Theresa - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think most moms feel that way before they have a second. I'm expecting #4 in 3 weeks, and I already love him/her just as much as 1, 2 and 3. Love does not divide, it multiplies. You love each child just as much, but you love them in defferent ways for different reasons. Each child and their personality in unique, so your love for them is also unique. i love the independance my first has, I love that my second has such a kind heart. I love that my third sings away at the top of her lungs all the time (she's 17 months, so it's her own language lol) and I love my 4th even though we haven't met and I don't know what it's personality will be. Tthere are of course many reasons I love each of my children. I was just showing you how each is different. You'll find that your second (3rd, 4th, etc) is just as magnificent as your first but in his/her own unique way. When you have another your entire world will revolve around your kids, instead of your kid.

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