Is it appropriate for a father to be naked in the presence of his 3 year old daughter after a shower
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OMG this is gonna be just like the showering with your kids topic on another forum on CoM's.
If you or your husband are uncomfortable with it, then don't do it. There is no stock answer to say what exact age is or isn't ok for every family because every family is different. My son is 3 and still showers with me 2 or 3 times a week at least. He still has a shower with his Daddy once a week or so also. To us, nudity is no big deal so we are going by our son's cues. When he expresses a desire for privacy then it will end our showers together. If another family feels uncomfortable with it in their home then that is their choice and their decision. Neither is right or wrong. There is nothing perverted about being naked around your children and they can still learn boundaries and privacy and decency and modesty even if they are around nakedness. Again, not everything works for every family so you just have to find what works for yours. If your husband thinks it's inappropriate for him to be naked in front of his 3 year old, if he is uncomfortable, then I think you should respect that. If he doesn't have a problem with it and neither does your daughter then it's really a non issue because it's YOUR FAMILY. Do what's right for you and yours.
Kerry - posted on 12/07/2010
Just want to add that I think being naked promotes discussion about how males/females are different and like Jenifer said, helps them to understand what private parts are and who can touch etc. I think it also teaches kids that our bodies aren't Taboo, they are natural, beautiful and everyone is different, which I think is really important for a persons sexuality later in life.
I think it depends on your own views -- there is no right or wrong answer. Two of my friends are in Switzerland right now with their kids, 11, 10 and 3, and they have been to a few "spas" there where clothing is banned. For everyone. Everyone, adult, child, male, female -- walks around butt naked and it's not an issue. Of course, being American, they were horrified and "hid" behind their towels the whole time (with their swimsuits on -- they refused to take them off). Personsally, I don't think it is inappropriate at all. My husband and I both still shower with our almost-3 YO twins. They see me naked every day and they know I don't have a penis at this point. BIG shock on my one son's part when he figured THAT out! They also know that Daddy has a "big" penis (LOL -- Daddy loved that, except for the fact it was announced in front of the babysitter)! I don't plan on covering up with them anytime soon. I think it's better for kids to learn about different body parts from Mom and Dad than from other kids on the playground or strangers.
Jessica - posted on 12/27/2014
My father and brother were often nude in our house when I was growing up. I never thought of it as wrong or unusual. I eventually covered up myself as a teen, but I never felt that they should cover up. Today, my two tweens seem totally oblivious to their father's nudity or their own. At this point I'm hesitant to make our nudity an issue that it is somehow wrong.
Emily - posted on 10/19/2014
Sure, depending on the family. My daughter just came out and told me that it was time for her dad to cover up. She's 9, yet she has no problem being naked in front of us. I fished for a reason why, asking her if dad should wear his underwear. She said no. She says he needs a shirt because the tattoo on Dad's back is really ugly! LOL.
Sarah - posted on 02/23/2017
Michelle, I would feel uncomfortable with this scenario as well. My husband regularly showered with our kids when they were little. We had an assembly line; he got in and I'd send a kid in, he'd wash them and then hand one out and I'd hand the next one in to wash. The difference was, I was there, it was a group affair, it was a shower (not a bath) and it ended around 3-4 years old. Something about dad (who is not a constant in her life) hopping into a tub with a little girl? My husband's input is that a father must avoid the appearance of inappropriateness. So, even though it may be perfectly innocent, he should not continue. What if she went into daycare or preschool and informed her teacher "hey my dad got naked with me last night"? A teacher is a mandated reporter and you don't want that cloud over your family.
Hope - posted on 02/23/2017
Michelle, unfortunately, I think this is something only you can answer. You know your daughter and her father better than any of us. My husband and I don't flaunt ourselves in front of our son, but we've never tried to hide our bodies from him either. I feel like he has grown into a well-rounded, confident young man due, in part, to our openness about bodies and what all the parts are for.
That being said, I think I would discretely ask some questions about her bath time with "daddy" and make sure nothing bad is going on. If he was the only father figure in her life I wouldn't have a problem with it, but with him "in and out"...that's different.
Tough situation, but if I were you, I would play it safe and keep "daddy" out of her bath.
Michelle - posted on 02/20/2017
So here's my twist and dilemma. I have a four year old girl. We've bathed together her entire life. Her dad has been in and out of her life and just recently she came back from a visit and when I bathed her she said "daddy got naked and jumped in my bath." I live with another man whom has been like a father to my daughter. She then asked if he could bathe with her too and asked about penises. I promptly told her it wasn't okay for him to bathe with her and then had the privilege of explaining the differences of men and women etc. Yes this is a discussion I needed to have with her anyway. But, am I wrong for feeling a bit put off and disturbed by her father at age four deciding to suddenly start bathing with her?
Vicki - posted on 12/16/2010
Totally fine. The first time my grandmother saw a penis was on her wedding night. Now THAT seems wrong to me. I think children regardless of sex should understand that bodies are natural and normal. The only naked images they would see otherwise are those in media (photoshopped and perfect). Now that's unhealthy in my opinion.
Funny anecdote: A friend and her husband never covered up around their daughter when going to and from the shower etc. 3 year old asked her Mum one day 'Mummy, why does Daddy have a poo on his front?' Love it.
Heather - posted on 12/14/2010
Personally I think if you dont make a big deal out of it neither will your child. My daughter is not quite four and sees Daddy naked to get in and out of shower here and there. Mind you he isnt walking around naked all day but do you want her to be curious or just understand that is a boy this is a girl end of topic?
My daughter is also sees the same parts on my son when I change his diaper. He is a boy that is life.
Maddy - posted on 12/13/2010
if there's any aspect of your husbands or your childs behaviour that concerns you in relation to their being naked, then it's probably inappropriate. otherwise, your child is just learning about the human body, and learning not to be selfconcious!
Theresia - posted on 12/09/2010
To each their own...my child will only know it as taboo if he hears about it in school. By then, we will have taught him about his own body and what is age appropriate for him to know about when it is not ok to be naked around someone or for someone to be naked around him. Every morning, our son crawls into bed with us and we both sleep in the buff. Neither one of us make an attempt to hide or instill any shameful feelings in our son. There is simply no need.
I do respect other's differing views. Everyone has a "story" that makes an issue as simple as this far more complex.
Our way is for us...not better than anyone else's , just how we feel our son should be brought up.
Amy - posted on 12/09/2010
Whether appropriate or not, our daughter busts into the bathroom after my husband's showers sometimes because she has to "pee now!" He tries to cover up best he can, and I'm not even sure she looks. I do think it depends on comfort level of all. I cannot shower with my son after I weaned him because he sees boobs and wanted to play with them or have a drink. Nope, we're done. So we stopped mom/son at 16 months. My daughter knows boys and girls are different. She even said she's glad she has boobs instead of a big pee pee so she can wear pretty bras one day. :D She cracks me up.
Dora - posted on 12/09/2010
I think it depends on what you and your family believe in. There is nothing inappropraite with the naked body. It only becomes inappropriate when you start doing inappropriate things with your naked body. Once again it comes down to how comfortable you and your husband are about your bodies. In a lot of cultures the naked body is not seen as a bad thing. You were born without clothes right? The naked body is only natural. I grew up in a household where you were NEVER naked in front of anyone except yourself not even in front of my own parents. My husband and I have decided to raise our son differently. We just don't make it a big deal to shower or dress in front of him. I don't want him to think it is a bad thing. We keep it very straight forward. if he asks a question we do answer it. Do we just walk around the house naked no, but that is just because we personally don't believe in doing that. It all comes down to personal choice.
Kerry - posted on 12/07/2010
well put Joy! I still bath with my boys and they are 2 and 5. When they start to become uncomfortable is when I will give them their own space but at the moment they love having showers with mum.
Should it be any different for a dad - daughter as it is to a mum - son?
Jennifer - posted on 12/07/2010
I really disagree that ages 4/5 is the age when they should stop seeing naked parents. They need to learn about privacy for sure but as the mother to gender different fraternal twins who see EACH OTHER naked, it is totally normal. We also use their naked experiences such as their comments about each ther to teach them -to learn and understand what we want them to know, as well as learn about appropriateness of who is allowed to see them and touche them and what kind of touching (such as a parent helping them get clean) is okay by a parent or trusted adult.
Jennifer - posted on 12/07/2010
I think so. Children start to be naturally curious about their own bodies at this age and there is lots of compare and contrast. Your child doesn't see his/her daddy as a sexual being and I am assuming the same as your husband not seeing your daughter as sexual either, but simply as naked. Naked is normal, natural and healthy and part of her learning how to be comfortable in her own skin -to question the differences and get real, honest answers about what she sees and feels. And personally, I would rather my children learn about nudity and body parts from me and not the playground or other means.
Khadijah - posted on 12/07/2010
I would say "definitely not". My husband and I both agree that it is inapropriate for him to be exposed to our girls. If he ever took a shower with them he would probably wear some trunks to cover "those area's".
I personally don't think its appropriate for any child "especially of the opposite sex to see an adult completely undressed. I might be able to tolerate it somewhat better if you had a son. To me, if they have the same "equipment" its not so much to explain. That is just my personal opinion.
Julie - posted on 12/07/2010
It depends on what he's doing. Seriously, if he is drying off and getting dressed, why is that a big deal? We all need to be without clothing at times, but some people are more open/prudish about it.
To save time, either one of my parents would load the 4 of us into our (huge) shower and we'd all shower at once. I think that stopped by the time my older sister was school-aged, but I can't be certain. I've never considered myself traumatized because of it.
Hayley - posted on 12/07/2010
My husband does the same thing. For a long time the only way we could get Bella to bathe without a fight was to just get in there with her in the shower. I'd say it's fine until she starts asking questions. At this point, my daughter bathe's more with me now (and sometimes on her own) than with Daddy. I really don't think it's a big deal until they're a bit older. They do need to understand that boys are different than girls. I'd say usually up to age 4/5 is when you should really stop letting them see you naked at all.
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