is it normal for a boy to prefer to play with girls

Carrie - posted on 08/09/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

22

0

3

My son recently turned 4, and lately @ daycare he has only been playing with th girls. When I asked him about it he said it was because they r beautiful and the boys aren't as cool as his best buddy (dad). He loves to use his imagination and pretend play which is what the teachers say the girls love. He will play princess with them and he will be the prince. When he is at hpme he pretends to be superheroes and transformers. Is this normal. I am so afraid that I'm doing something wrong and not letting my son be who he is.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tara - posted on 09/24/2012

1

95

0

I agree with everything that has been said. However, I have a question. As the boy grows older, does the concern increase to a point that something should be done about it? I have a 7 year old boy who seems to prefer to play with girls as well. He is not your typical rough-n-tough boy. He is creative and artistic and very caring and considerate of others feelings. And not that interested in sports beyond riding his bicycle. He seems to play with girls and recess and eat lunch with them and "mesh" better with their style of playing? So my question is, since he is 7 years old and starting 1 grade does that change anyone's response above or does the same philosophy hold true?

Does he need to spend a portion of his play time understanding and learning from boys?

Terri Lynn - posted on 08/11/2011

44

1

1

You have one cool son! When I was 6 and started school, I played with the boys and at the daycare I went to after school, my best friends were boys. Friends are based on interests, not gender and your son sounds so creative. You might have a future movie actor, Broadway play star or even movie producer. Perhaps he will be a writer or artist. Please nurture this creativity all you can and not allow ideas about traditional male/female roles ruin his fun. Not all boys want to get into fighting, football, and messing with cars. I would suggest enrolling him in some acting lessons or children's theater as an outlet for this. What a great little boy!!!

Annabutton - posted on 09/25/2012

39

0

10

As a parent I think we should only be gentle observers and not intervene. By intervening it could be seen as though you don't approve of their choices. We can't change them and what they like. We can't mold them into what we find acceptable. They might even begin to hide and pretend just to please their parents. No matter the reasoning behind why a child is playing with other children we need to support and not judge and not worry. Once they are in school they begin to learn how to become independent. This is where we let them have space and a longer leash to figure things out. Therefore we should sit back and let them become comfortable with themselves. We only want to understand and accept who they are and one day have a good relationship with them. Allow them to be who they are.

[deleted account]

there is nothing wrong at all (i used to teach pre-school) most boys love to play imaginative games, but are often pushed to play "boy games" like block or trucks over dress up and tea party. my son is 2, he has blocks, trucks, a full childsized kitchen with utencils, a baby doll and a pram for her. he plays all kinds of imaginative games. if he wants to play with girls let him (i used to play with only boys!). don't let his teachers encourage him away from "girl play" either, it's perfectly normal.

Claire - posted on 08/12/2011

25

1

3

My son is the same, its great when they have such a creative imagination - makes playtime really fun. He plays with boys and girls, just not as rough when hes playing with girls. With the boys he plays spiderman, with the girls he is the prince that they all love. No worries, hes being a kid and doing what he wants.

14 Comments

View replies by

Amanda - posted on 02/07/2017

5

2

2

My step son is 10 and plays with girls I think kids go thru stages in my opinion it isn't bad

Monica - posted on 01/27/2017

7

0

0

Just curious if your son still play with girls now. My son is 6 and only play with girls, love them! He doesnt like playing with cars or boy's toys. I'm afraid he will suffer... girls at the end of the day prefer playing with girls, ask another girlfriend for playdates and sleepovers and soon will not invite him for the girls-only birthday parties.

Sepideh - posted on 08/16/2016

1

0

0

Hi Tara.... My son is exact like your so it
He is a copy of your son... What did you do to be helpful at all thank you so much in advance for your response.

Janet - posted on 08/12/2011

89

2

6

i wouldn't worry about it - he is getting in touch with his feminine side and there might not be any boys that he likes at daycare

Sandy - posted on 08/12/2011

243

64

7

Your son sounds fine to me too. Some boys don't play nice. There's nothing wrong with your son wanting to play with the girls who are likely prettier than the boys and play better with others. ☺

Keri - posted on 08/11/2011

363

40

0

I could say something silly about how he's already exploring his feminine side and he'll be a caring man when he's older, or that you know he DOES like girls, but I won't, He may just like the way the girls play better. Maybe they are more accomodating and let him take regular turns and make his own choices. Little boys can be very stubborn when it comes to allowing others to do what they want to do. Kids often have different personalities for different situations (didn't you?)

Susan - posted on 08/11/2011

4

4

0

Yes! Our 4.5 year old loves playing with girls because they actually can sit down and listen. They are not as rough either. He plays with boys on the playground and in other activities as well. I wouldn't worry about it. Let him be and enjoy what he loves. Kids this age should be allowed to explore and discover all sides of themselves. It's a great thing!

Annabutton - posted on 08/11/2011

39

0

10

Personally I wouldn't even address it. By addressing it you are bringing it to his attention and that might come across as he's doing something wrong. Just be the gentle observer: be prepared and supportive. He's 4, just go with the flow.

Jamie

[deleted account]

If he chooses his activity, it's his choice, so he is being who he wants to be. My son also prefers playing with girls, he's 3, he says they are nice and more fun. My son isn't in school just yet, so I don't know what he will do in this situation, but at home he wants boy toys and loves typical boy movies ect. When we go to the local park he asks where are the girls, I think it will all change when puberty gets closer to happening. Until then they seem to be learning how to handle girls and may be ladies men one day. Our son already knows if a girl doesn't want him around, to give her something, works every time.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms