Is it ok to lock the door to a 2 year old's room who keeps getting up in the night since he was moved to his Toddler Bed?

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Ali - posted on 05/01/2013

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Abuse? Seriously? I know all about child abuse (believe me) and locking a door at bedtime is NOT abuse. I know this board isn't about all this but frankly, the people crying "ABUSE!" are the ones who are raising these kids who have no respect for rules or authority and seem to believe that everything should be handed to them. I don't lock my child's door but I have reached the point where I'm about to install a latch on the outside of her door. We haven't slept for a full night in so long I can't even imagine what that's like. We don't get any evening time to ourselves to work on projects, clean, or just be together - sex is not even an option with our little nighttime visitor coming into our room 20 times a night.

We have had a routine for years, evolving with our growing 4 year old, but it doesn't work. Rewards don't work. Punishment doesn't work. Big girl bed didn't work, setting up a "tent" to camp on the floor didn't work, moving her mattress onto the floor didn't work, sticker charts, gaining toys, losing toys, the "monster-away" spray didn't work, the nightlight doesn't work, the white noise machine doesn't work - NONE OF IT WORKS FOR MY CHILD. She's a bedtime beast and there's no taming her. Reasoning, ignoring, Supernanny-ing, yelling, spanking, whatever - none of it works.

So before people go crying about abuse, first maybe look up the meaning of abuse or talk to someone who has survived it - like me. My husband is a kind and wonderful man who loves his mother deeply - and guess what? She locked him in his room at bedtime for years. If I came out of my room at night, I got a belt strap across my backside and guess what? I still turned out alright.

Not all kids fit into a box with 1-2-3 parenting instructions and I'm more convinced than ever of the need to put a lock on my daughter's door.

Alexis - posted on 03/15/2013

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Why does everyone think this is a fire hazard? If my son cries behind a closed door, I still hear him. A fire anywhere will sound the alarms all over the house. If I didn't keep him locked in his room at night, he would never go to sleep. I respond to his needs and requests. I correct him and put him back to bed when he gets up over and over. Anyone can have a fire, a locked door has no connection to this concern. Why would it be illegal to lock him in his room while he's asleep? He's not being abused or neglected and he's certainly not scared! He plays with stuffed animals in bed until he falls asleep peacefully. If he has an accident, he calls for me. If I didn't lock his door to teach him boundaries, he would leave his room late at night, enter his baby brother's room, try on my shoes and walk around at 1 am, get himself a drink or snack from the fridge- he would feel the rules did not apply after bed time, or that he could fool around when mom is asleep. I do not lock him all the time, only at the start to teach him he does not have the freedom to ignore bedtime- it allowed me to teach him his limits without having to get out of bed all night or neglect my infant until he learned. When I shut his door now, I just tap the lock so he hears it has been moved-I fake it. He assumes it is locked and doesn't bother trying the knob. I think some of you are jumping to conclusions, assuming the kid is bothered- or that it is the end of the world if your child is unhappy (it is for the good of the household)! ITS OKAY TO MAKE RULES AND LIMITS for your little ones. Stop being such pushovers and chickens and raise your kids to be realistic, not spoiled and helpless. Yes, they are people with feelings, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't experience disappointment or defeat. I don't think mommy entering the room 27 times with a smile and a kiss is going to teach them to follow the rules. Its going to teach them to test the limits: if they want attention, mommy will come running to stroke their egos. Rules and restrictions do not equal abuse or neglect. Being a strict parent does not make you mean, it makes your kids learn rules and consequences. I welcome DSS. Surely they'd tell me they've never seen such well behaved, well mannered, HAPPY boys.

Francesca - posted on 03/16/2013

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Get over it people. Locking the door is a good solution. Sometimes your child is going to cry. You have to remain strong through the process of getting the child on a schedule and teaching about boundaries. Don't get me wrong it kills me to hear my child cry if she is hurt or sick. You are teaching your child about getting to sleep at night at a decent time so as to get enough sleep. Too each there own. There is no magic formula in child rearing.

Rachel - posted on 08/30/2012

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We have a safety handle on the inside of our twins room, so it's not 'locked', but they haven't figured it out yet and they are 3 now. They don't need to be running through the house when it's night time.



I'd say there is nothing wrong with locking the door. He WILL learn to sleep in his bed. If he sleeps on the floor at the door for a couple of days, that's not a problem, he'll learn it's more comfortable to sleep on his bed sooner or later...



I thought it was wrong too, but they can open doors very easily and they need to learn to stay in their room when it's bedtime. OOoh and they don't even try to open the door anymore, they just know not to bother and they wait on their beds in the morning chit chatting, until we wake up.



Good luck!

Momof3and1bipolarautisticadhdchild - posted on 03/07/2013

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this freaking issue doesn't make sense to me.......emotional damage for your kid to be in his/her room at night closed/locked/gated whatever while they sleep.......i have a 4yr old with bipolar disorder and adhd and a type of autism nothing that restricts her development we have tried everything to keep her in her room at night....she has insomnia so she will get up and wonder the house luckily i hear her and put her to bed again and again i get about 2-3hrs of sleep at night its ridiculous 2 other kids and being pregnant only getting little sleep my daughter climbs for things so no matter how i i put something up she finds a way to get it and cause another danger all in its self....you judgmental parents have no idea what some mothers have to go threw you say put a baby gate up close the door....some lock the door, some buy the doorknob safty lock either way its the same thing i dont see how anyone can call this abuse or neglect look at the federal regulations or a site call "child abuse prevention" nothing about locking your kid or keeping them in a room to sleep at night on there about it being anytype of abuse you people act like these parents are locking them in their room all day or without food and water or something....some parents want to keep thier kids safe....so give ma a break and actually do your research this stuff these days....its getting ridiculous with oh that's abuse oh you spank your kids butt thats abuse....omg they are closed in a room at night that's abuse....no not doing anything to protect your kids this is NEGLECT get informed people not everything is abuse you know....by year 2020 your not even going to be able to even discipline your kid because it will become abuse.........what is this world coming to........i was in a home where i was abused all types put in my room everyday all day only fed once or 2times beaten with bruises up and down my body and raped by my uncle at nine called horrible names by my dad and uncle the rest of the time arms twisted till i would cry wasn't even allowed out to get water no running water and a house with no heat or cooling and cps left me there and yet if i want to protect my daughter form getting hurt and im abusing her wow

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TinaMarie - posted 2 days ago

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im curious how is locking the door any different then a 2yr or 3yr who still sleeps confined to a crib with no way out...

Chet - posted on 08/11/2014

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Locks don't belong on a child's door. They belong on the things children shouldn't have access too. Medication should always be kept in a locked box and then stored out of reach (like above the refrigerator). Lock the outside doors. Lock the basement door. Lock the bathroom door. I once knew a family that had double baby gates (one stacked above the other) on their kitchen entrance.

Personally, I've always preferred to have the kids' doors open. I know that fire safety recommends doors be kept closed at night, but I feel much better being able to hear what's going on. I'm a sound sleeper, but always wake up for weird kid noises. And our kids get into stuff a lot, and they are all about "creative use" of toys, household objects and furniture.

In any case, fire safety also recommends that children not be locked in their bedrooms!

The thing is, any kid who can get into serious trouble outside of their room can get into serious trouble in their bedroom - getting stuck in dresser drawers, falling off of a dresser they've climbed up on, falling out the window, suffocating in their toy box, getting tangled in a blind, pulling down the curtains and getting whacked by the rod... all sorts of freak accidents happen. I know multiple children who broke bones jumping, falling, or being pushed off a bed. A bedroom is just as hazardous as any other room in the house.

You need to accept that you will never completely child proof a house, and that attempting to buffer a child from all danger isn't good for a child's development anyway. I'd consider a door alarm, but not locking a child in.

Brittany - posted on 08/08/2014

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These last couple nights my almost three year old son has figured out how to open his door. I am the type of mother who goes out of her way to give her son the best and the safest. His room is completely proofed, including the door knob. Unfortunately, he has now figured out how to get past the safety knob. Last night I almost had a heart attack because at 2am I found him in the downstairs bathroom medicine cabinet eating an entire bag of caught drops. I immediately called poison control and had myself a good cry..
Today, during nap time, he snuck out and went into the neighboring room and put nail polish all over himself and the brand new (very expensive) carpet. $100 for professional cleaners to come out, and a minor freak out ( actually it was major) later, I decided to replace the door knobs to ones with a lock.

I am still torn because I do not want to treat my son like an animal, locking him in his room like a psycho.. but all of these dangers that occur from him opening his door, is making it near impossible to live without a lock. Tonight is the first night with the lock on the door, and I am hoping that this will only be temp. I WILL not lock my full grown child in his/her bedroom, because I see a major psychological problem there for both them and myself as a mother.

But I ask myself this question: Is it okay to lock my child in his room each night...?

Kyle - posted on 08/04/2014

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My son takes about half an hour on average before he gives in goes to sleep. Most of the time he goes back to bed but he stil goes to sleep in front of the door from time to time. Hoping this phase doesn't last much longer. He has a big stuffed animal he tends to crash on when he doesn't make it to bed. I keep a blanket on the floor for him for those nights. From talking to friends and family; most of their kids took about 6months to get out of this phase and to a point they could leave the door unlocked again.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/02/2014

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So first off there are a lot of moms on her that are passing judgement without walking in these moms shoes. How hard do you think it would be to lock your child in their room and hear them cry for you?????? I judged before because my daughter was easy and then came my son. I laugh because I think God was teaching me a lesson. Technically you can fix the door where you're not locking them in but they can't open the door.


I need help from the moms that had to do this. How long did it take for the child to finally stop fighting it and get up off the floor and sleep in the bed?????

Kyle - posted on 07/31/2014

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We brock down and started locking our 2 year old in a couple weeks ago. After a month of him getting up and wandering, refusing to stay in his room ( we would spend hours putting him back to bed over and over every 5 to 10 minutes) . I finally cracked and locked the door. My hubbie and I were barely functioning and our son was winey and bratty because he wasent sleeping. I felt so guilty over doing it that I had a miltdown. Found out from my grandmother that she did it and my dad did to my brother. Its for the safty and sanity of everyone. He figured out a way to take off the childproof door handle thing in a week so we have to lock his door otherwise he never sleeps and if its not locked in the am he climbs the counters instead of waking me up. He is real quiet and sneaky about it I wake up to the sou d of the cabinet doors slamming, Hubbie tried putting out breakfeast on the coffee table for our son to keep him off the counter and he still did it. So locking his door is a major safty concern for us. We have a potty and a sippy of water and container he can open of cereal in his room if he needs it. I have taught him to knock on his door and say mommy loudly whe he is ready to get out, he did this before he could reach the door handle so not hard to teach again. I stil, feel horriable for doing it but as my family keeps reminding me its for his safty.

Jenny - posted on 07/28/2014

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I don't see anything positive from locking a two year old in there room . If concerned put additional locks I all doors that lead to the outside and locks on any type of cabinets etc they could get into. If you have to lay with them till they fall asleep then do it.

Merlin Naumi - posted on 06/19/2014

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If it is just a habit, put toddler back in his or her bed three times. First, say goodnight darling sweet dreams. Second time just saying Goonight. And third time not speaking anhything at all. No eye contact throughout.those times.If it is separation anxiety, put little feet stickers on the floor leading to your room and leave toddler's bedroom door slighty ajar so when toddler feels frightened, he or she can track those little feet to your room and feel safe. AFter that, put toddler back into his or her room again. The goal here is to give a sense of peace and safety. Hope this will work

Merlin Naumi - posted on 06/19/2014

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When I was growing up, my babysitter or nannies would do that at night. But after reading extensively about parenting toddlers from books, I was taught the SOS method. Step back, observe and step in. Step back and observe if the toddler has separation anxiety or just a plain habit that has stuck onto him over time? Supernanny Jo foster has some amazing tips in her book that addresses this issue. The book is called " Jo Frost's Toddler Rules". Hope the book helps

Krystle - posted on 06/19/2014

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Michael, that's utter nonsense. A child is in no more danger from a local fire with a locked door than he/she would be in a crib. Moreover, fire fighters admit that having kids in their rooms rather than running around the house is easier for them to locate and save them. Furthermore, if a child is walking around and putting themselves in danger at night, that is a much more IMMEDIATE concern than the very RARE even of a fire that starts in their room. You are talking out of your arse. IF this is the case in Arkansas, that is an incredibly nonsensical and unjust law.

It is not okay to lock your kids in their room all day because you don't want to parent. It is sane and reasonable to do so at night for their protection.

Michael - posted on 06/10/2014

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As a CPS worker this IS considered child abuse and is grounds to have your children removed from your home. At least in Arkansas. Locking a child in a room is a no no. If there was a localized fire in the room or something similar your child would be trapped and burned to death. I don't care if you are super parent. There is still a chance that you would not react in time. At least with an open door a child would have a fighting chance.

Don't do it.

Kirsten - posted on 05/27/2014

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I would suggest maybe locking your own door? That way you kid cant get into your room but doesnt feel trapped and is in no circumstantial danger! (If they were choking or whatever). If going downstairs or walking around is an issue, totally do baby gates! The complicated ones that are hard to open. Anyways, if none of this works maybe locking them in is a good option, its NOT ABUSE PEOPLE, but i would suggest an "emergency button" (you can purchase them at wallgreens, walmart, target wherever) with this, if there was a REAL emergancy they could push it and a soft (but not to soft) alarm would ring in your room, or wherever the other part is located. Good luck xoxo

Krystle - posted on 05/07/2014

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My mother just informed me that i was regularly locked in at night because I'd roam the house instead of sleeping. I had no idea. Imagine that. She was "abusing" me. "Traumatizing" me, and somehow I managed to escape without any issues or long term affects. OR, maybe, just like a CRIB, I learned that when the door was closed I could not open it, and I'd best just go to bed. Kids are smart, adaptable, and they are not made of glass. This might not be a good method for you or your child. But luckily, you don't get a vote in how others raise their children, and you don't get to decide arbitrary rules about abuse. To the person who said CPS would not allow this...think again. it is perfectly legal to lock your children in their room for BEDTIME. It's NEGLECT when you lock your children in their room all day long or in order to not have to parent them.

Contrary to some of the belief of the martyrs around here, being a mother is not supposed to be considered sleep torture. You are supposed to find solutions that fit your family to get your kids to sleep at reasonable times. It's not laziness to say, "No, I cannot be a functioning mother if my child stays up all night long screaming in my face." It is not bad parenting to recognize that sometimes you do what you have to do for your sanity and the safety of your kids.

Jennifer - posted on 04/27/2014

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absolutely not!!!! That's a fire hazard and extremely dangerous!!!!! What if your son was sick, puking or choking and couldn't get out of his room to get you?? What if he wakes up scared and can't find his Mommy... nightmares do happen. I'm in shock that a Mother would even ask that.... It's so completely dangerous on so many different levels plus emotionally abusive. Ughh

Krystle - posted on 04/27/2014

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Okay. 1) I am with you. We have a very stubborn, strong willed child. He's 2.5 and we had to move him to a big bed because he learned to climb out of his crib. We are at our wits end. While he used to sleep through the night now, we can't get him to sleep without HOURS and I MEAN HOURS of the 'Supernanny' Method that always ends in my giving in and lying down next to him because it's 2 am and I NEED MY SLEEP!!!!!!!!! But now, not even that works. My husband got the idea to buy the childproof knob covers to get him to stay in his room until he falls asleep. Let's be clear. He knows good and well it's bad time and does not care. He wants to play because he knows it's making us upset.

2)To people calling this child abuse...parent your own kids and leave ours alone. We all make decisions others might not like. I think an entire family sleeping in one bed is cray cray and I'd never give up the intimacy I have with my husband so that my sons could kick me in the face all night. But that's your choice and I certainly don't think I should be making it for you. You don't know someone else's situation until you've walked a mile in her shows.

3) Fire Hazard. I was worried about this too, at first. Until I realized, if my son was in his crib and a fire broke out, he'd be in exactly the same position. I'd still have to go in and rescue him, and what's worse, he'd be in an even more confined area. So, this is a moot point.

4) Anxiety. This is something to be concerned about. But only you knwo how your child will respond to such a method. Tonight is our first night "locking" him in and there were few tears. If he'd been seriously scared or traumatized, we would have removed the knob and come up with a new plan, just as I'm sure most parents would do.

Charlotte - posted on 03/01/2014

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Anyone that thinks locking a child in a room is normal then u shud be locked up!! So its hard work being a parent , well deal with it, its not forever!! The long term effects of being locked in are awfull and it wont show till they are older and this is guaranteed! !!!! Y wud u not just get help or use a stair gate a reward chart basically anything than locking yr child in. As as for fire noone knows where a fire will start or if they will wake. Bunch of @#*@$ . well done to all the loving caring parents who put children first x

Evelyn - posted on 11/23/2013

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How about using a motion detector alarm rather than locking the child in their room. THAT would've freaked me out to no end when I was a little kid and would have fed me with feelings of rejection.

Evelyn - posted on 11/23/2013

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Someone named Dawna Kaiser posted this a few years back on 04/26/2010 and I like it so I'm reposting it:
"I tried locking my daughter's door a couple of times out of exhaustion, and i will never do it again. she was terrified. not knowing how to get to mommy or daddy or why they are locked in a room seems like a horrible thing to do to a toddler. i wish i had never done it. she banged and screamed like someone was murdering her. later attempts at just walking her back to bed and not talking to her or encouraging play time worked much better. those options take more effort on the part of the parent, but they comfort the child without punishing them for not understanding that bed time in a big kid bed is something they need to do by themselves".

your kid may react differently, but if you disagree with that tactic, trust your instinct. maybe your husband just thinks the extra effort is crazy, but it's worth it if it helps your child view bedtime as a safe and happy thing instead of a prison sentence. also, if what you want him to learn is that it is time to be in bed, you don't want him wandering around playing behind a closed door. :)

Evelyn - posted on 11/23/2013

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WHY is the child waking up and coming out of the room? Can the child identify that? Is the child afraid or just wanting to be a nudge??? I'm still looking to see if any of the parents commenting and posting here have thought of or have incorporated prayer into their daily routine and/or bedtime activity. It's likely that the parent's themselves very likely don't even know how to REALLY pray (that is two-way prayer which incorporates listening) and without that knowledge anxiety will rule the night and day rather than the peace of God. God will certainly give us peace when we HUMBLY surrender and come boldly before His throne of grace to obtain mercy in time of need. Remember God has no grandchildren, only children. God is Love and will definitely answer a child's prayer, IF the parent teaches the child and encourage the child to do so as well as to have their own personal relationship with God. I know It worked for me when I had little children. Another thing is this...IF our kids got up at night (which they often did at certain periods of time) they quickly got over their fears by crawling into bed with us. They knew we were easily accessible. This was most comforting for them. I know some people say they can't sleep if the kid/kids are in bed with them. The thing I don't get is how those same parents can fall asleep and sleep on the floor in the kid's room or in a chair, but can't sleep when the child is in their own bed...What's that all about??? Seems to me that I would much prefer co-sleeping in a family bed as opposed to all the work it takes to keep one's child out of the parents bed. You ask "What is this world coming to?" Looks to me that parents are losing their edge because they are trying everything the world has to offer and are leaving out the spiritual aspect. The Best thing a parent can do is to teach their children to rely on and reinforce the truth that God can be trusted to soothe and comfort them during the times they are afraid. I don't get this about the kid staying in their own bed all the time. I thought co-sleeping or the family bed worked out very well and also helped the kids feel secure. And, you might ask, Did it wreck our sex life? No.

Shauna - posted on 05/16/2013

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Well, I would like to respond to Ali. I'm sorry that you endured abuse for coming out of your room and I'm sorry that your husband got locked in is room, but I can promise you that NO child protective services person or cop or judge would ever be okay with locking a child in their room, just because they won't stay in bed. IT IS considered ABUSE and NEGLECT. I believe that you are giving her false information and I do not like the way you are talking to the parents that say they consider it abuse, and not because I am one of those parents, but that is their opinion and you don't need to tear them down for it.

Jessica - posted on 05/16/2013

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i wouldnt do that, im about to be at the point with my second child, the day and i decided to put a baby gate up in his door way, so he stays in the room until we get up, we didnt think about that with our oldest which is 5 about to turn 6 in dec, and he got into everything, your second child will be 3 in oct.i hope this helps

Melissa - posted on 05/14/2013

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My son just turned 3, about 6 months ago he unlocked all of the doors from his bed to the front door. He quietly closed his bedroom door behind him, but fortunately not the front door. He whent outside without waking my husband or myself! I got up and checked his room and couldn't find him.

Long story short - we close his door and put a gate on the outside of his door. Measuring exactly, so he can't squeeze under or climb over.
But usually after 3 or 4 hours of sleep he will wakeup unlock and open his door and if no one is walking towards him he will Finally make a sound or call for one of us then bed share until morning.

Mommy's lil fugitive. Lol.

Stacy - posted on 05/09/2013

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Well I dont think its bad at all. But I think before you do that whynot stay firm and consistent wiht them. I know we all get tired and expecially being sleep deprived doesnt help. But tell them its time for bed, stay in your bed and get some good sleep. Then when they open the door after you leave, immmediately take them back to be and dont saying nothing but good night I lvoe you. Kepp doing it until they stop. Even tually they will realize that you are not letting down and theys no way for them to stay up. And dont give in, they can see the smallest moment of weakness to get to you, so thats when you have to strictly be the parent not the consoler and stick to your guns. Im going though the transition now with my 2 yr old. I am very blessed in that he doesnt give me hardly any problems. But I also know that Ive stayed firma nd consistent wiht him all his life.
look up super nanny lol shell probably have a way of handling it

Mommy - posted on 05/08/2013

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Why not put a gate at their door, so the door can remain open but they can't just walk out of the room.

Amanda - posted on 03/31/2013

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There is no right or wrong in this situation. I myself would never want to lock to my son in his room as a room should be a fun and safe place for them not a way to trap them. I tell me son if he wakes up he can either call for me or come get me. Since he is afraid of the dark he doesn't leave his room but calls for me. He is a five year old with the brain of well trained fireman. We went to see my cousin and her new baby one day. We were in her oldest son's room and they have the safety lock on his door knob. My son said that isn't good because he can't get out if there is a fire and since she has to take out the baby who would get him out. Since I never used those stupid things after my friends sons got locked in his room for three hours, cause it got stuck on the inside and they couldn't even turn it on the outside, I swore I would never use it. A better idea, move the handle up! Kids will only grow so making the handle higher would be safer. No locking in and chance on the door getting stuck. I have a friend in Vancouver that bought these getting ready for their first and on the package it said not to be used on bedroom doors due to safety risk! They are meant to keep kids out of rooms they are not suppose to be in not keep them in a room. Again just my thinking, i wouldn't want my room to be my "jail cell".

Bianca Marie - posted on 03/31/2013

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Try my latest invention the 'houdini door'. It is not a lock. It is merely a bracket you put on the door that holds the door open at a set gap, so the hall light can still get into the room, but your small child can not move the door. www.houdinistop.co.nz

Kathleen - posted on 03/30/2013

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Read many of the posts, in my opinion it is NEVER right to lock your child in any room for many reasons.

Diann - posted on 03/26/2013

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Honestly, in my family we all sleep in the same room so this isn't an issue. Both of my children go to bed and to sleep with little fuss because they know we are right there. Everyone gets more sleep that way.
I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it's worked wonderfully for us for the past 5+ years.

Kristy - posted on 03/24/2013

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We have always kept the child safety locks on the inside of their rooms. The kind that you have to put your fingers in to turn the knob and open it. Once the child learns to work it we remove it and they are usually sleeping through the night at that time. Each of their rooms has its own smoke alarm and I still keep the monitor in the room so that I can also hear them. This has always worked for us. My husband is a police officer and we felt this was a great solution.

Tracy - posted on 03/20/2013

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If a fire starts in your child's room from a faulty appliance or a short in an outlet your child is trapped and can not get out. I don't care where your fire alarms are I would not risk my child in a locked room by the time you got there and opened the door you could cause flash over and burn everything by supplying more oxygen. Short in a nightlight, humidifier or a mouse chewing on a wire in the wall or a lightning strike. Personally I would never risk my child by locking the door. I would buy special things so he wants to be in his room/bed like special bedding or a nightlight with the colors that display on the ceiling so he can turn it on if he wakes up, a radio he can turn on etc. thereby providing other items to replace you for security rather then locking him up and making him feel abandoned.

Debi - posted on 03/14/2013

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My son and daughter do this at night time to keep the children from wandering around a dark house, but if they start to cry loudly the door is opened to calm the child back down and back to bed which usually leads to a night of slumber for us all.

Tracy - posted on 03/09/2013

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A locked door could be a safety hazard if there was to be a fire. I had the opposite problem. My 18 month old would crawl out of her crib then Shut the bedroom door before turning on the light and partying with her 8 month old sister all night. I found her on top of the kitchen table getting a juice box in the pitch dark at 3:00 in the morning. Morning after morning I would find all the clothes pulled out of the dressers strewn all over the floor and piled in her sister's crib and she would have crawled in with her and there they'd both sleep.

Victoria - posted on 03/09/2013

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We used a gate for all 3 of our kids. They got out of bed all the time in the beginning you just have to get up and pur them back in. Took about 3 or 4 days but eventually they just stayed in bed. I would never lock them in their rooms.

Bonnie - posted on 01/08/2013

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i don't think putting up a gate is the correct way , it makes them cry and they don't understand why they are lock in a room, i have to say when my baby got out of bed and came to my bed i raise the quilt and he went right to sleep, the bonding that began was something else and as my son grew up i never saw him throw a tantrum or even talk ugly as he got older he is 26 now and have never heard him curse or throw something, you let them throw temper tantrums and stay upset the whole time when they are young, you will have problems as they grow up i have a friend that did that they made him stay in his room so much that he outburst at 16 and left home and had problems every since so love your kids give them the bonding they need , they might had a nightmare or a belly ache and they come to you for comfort so be there for thm i am so glad i was there for him, now i am a granny and i do my granbaby the same way she sleeps with me and she crys when she leaves the bonding is in place

Laurie - posted on 12/15/2012

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I put a baby gate up in my daughter's doorway. This way I could leave the door opened a crack, as usual and peek in on her without making noise. From what I've read, through three kids, when you come into the room...you've given him control. His goal is to prolong bedtime and have more mommy time. You'll have 2-3 awful nights, but it will get better. With my oldest, a sticker chart leading to a reward after a few nights of no fuss worked. We started with a reward after one night, then after two, then after three...you get the picture. If you find him asleep on the floor a few nights, so be it. Soon he will realize that his bed is warmer and more comfortable. You'll get your control back, but he needs a little right now too.

Ashelizabeth - posted on 12/11/2012

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Ok i just want to say shutting my bedroom door was my parents way of getting me to sleep at night so they told me and guess what in not traumatized by it nor do i fear small spaces shut doors. To be honest i do not remember it, as i was two! My son is almost 2 1/2 Anne every since he was put in a toddler bed i sat with him for a little while then told him good night and shut his door at first he would cry but did not try to open the door and after a week h he got used to it and it's a routine that doesn't phase him.i don't lock the just shut it and he is just used to it and doesn't try t to open door. He is still a completely happy kid a and is not at all scared of shut doors or sleeping in his room. He actually loves his room

Ashelizabeth - posted on 12/11/2012

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Ok i just want to say shutting my bedroom door was my parents way of getting me to sleep at night so they told me and guess what in not traumatized by it nor do i fear small spaces shut doors. To be honest i do not remember it, as i was two! My son is almost 2 1/2 Anne every since he was put in a toddler bed i sat with him for a little while then told him good night and shut his door at first he would cry but did not try to open the door and after a week h he got used to it and it's a routine that doesn't phase him.i don't lock the just shut it and he is just used to it and doesn't try t to open door. He is still a completely happy kid a and is not at all scared of shut doors or sleeping in his room. He actually loves his room

Schaynna - posted on 12/10/2012

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I have done the putting my son back in bed every time he gets out and not saying a word, he still gets up over and over.... and over again! i am a single mother, work full time, go to school full time, volunteer 5 hours a week for school and still color and play with my children so i have no time for nonsense at night... I too was at my wits end, it put a strain on my relationship with their father, and it seems my children only did this for me... Anyways I also tried putting a gat in the doorway that way he can see whats going on the door is open incase he needed me, and that worked until he realized he could climb over it... (He could climb out of his crib by 18 months) Then I tried putting the child lock on the inside of the door and sitting on the outside telling him that I would open the door when he laid in his bed and closed his eyes and no more talking... (But I couldn't stick with that at all, broke my heart after 5 minutes of listening to him cry and scream.



What doesn't make sense is we have a routine, dinner, brush teeth, read a book watch a movie bed... but he has his own routine. Tonight is the first time i think he has listened to me without ending up in my bed. I told him to go to sleep and lay nicely and i would not put the gate up... so far it has worked but we will see... He is 27 months, my daughter was the same way except the gate worked for her and I always removed it when she was finally asleep... I called his doctor today and she prescribed melatonin (which is a natural chemical your body makes to fall asleep) So we will see if that helps... emotionally I think we are all drained!

This goes from about 8pm-11pm...



Once he falls asleep he always wakes up and comes into my room, which I do not mind at all... i just wish he could fall asleep at 8 so I can get things done like laundry, school work, and maybe even some sleep myself!

Chris - posted on 09/20/2012

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I was reading a great book on childcare etc and they talked about this and had what I think was one of the best ideas.

Its the same kind of thing you do with keeping them in bed at bedtime. It takes time, for some kids 1-2 nights, for others up to a couple of weeks. The key is to be consistent.

If they get up, don't say anything. Just pick the child up and take them back to bed. Then put a chair or find a comfy spot on the floor IN the bedroom (but not facing the child) and sit. If they get up again, put them back, as many times as necessary, never saying anything (this is about not engaging them, not about ignoring them). Do this until they fall asleep. Repeat again if necessary during the night. If you have a spouse, take turns. Yes, you will have a few nights with not much sleep but if you are consistent, every night, they will eventually just stay in bed on their own until they fall back asleep.

One thing to check though, is if they have to pee, if potty trained, or diaper changed if not. Do it with no lights on if possible and this is really only the first time they are up in a single night.



But one other thing to keep in mind. Does it really matter? When you he gets up does he play or does he crawl into your bed? If he plays, does he eventually go back to bed on his own if you leave him be? If so, then this may just be part of his routine. It's not hurting anyone, so why stop it. If he comes to your bed to sleep, then it's up to you to decide if this is something acceptable in your family or not. In some it is totally okay, just roll over and let him in under the covers, no big deal. If it's not something you want every night, then you cant EVER let him do it and you may need to use the step above.

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I've never really had this problem, but I don't think it's a good idea for safety reasons. My mom, however, had four of us girls, and we were not easy to put to sleep. If you make it a constant he gets up, you put him back in ploy, he'll start to see it as a game, or a way to get attention. When he goes to bed, tuck him in, read a story, get a bear or whatever, and say good night (assuming he isn't kicking and screaming). Put him back into bed once or twice, lock outside doors or doors to anywhere unsafe, and let be. As I said, I've never had this problem, so I'm sorry if this is horrible advice. But I think after about three nights of not getting the attention he wants, he'll eventually quit and just go to bed, since your praise will offer a new kind of attention.

Kelly - posted on 09/03/2012

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Who in their right mind would lock a child in a bedroom? Their not animals. I feel so sorry for the children that are. This could cause fear to things like small spaces or ever been stuck in rooms later in life. It may make life easier for lazy parents that don't want to keep taking their child back into bed everytime they get but are you thinking about the mental abuse you are causing for your child. I would never ever ever ever lock the bedroom door. Have you also thought about the safety issue if their was a fire? I feel very strongly on this and shame on the parents that do!!

Tina - posted on 09/02/2012

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I have a child safety cover on my daughter's door knob inside her room. She has been found in another room during an episode of sleepwalking. We have put a safety lock high up on our front door, but she could still get hurt by wondering around the house by herself not completely aware. I have spoken with my doctor and she endorses this. She has heard stories of parents finding "sleep walking" toddlers on countertops with knife blocks and such. I would rather be safe than sorry.

Since my daughter does NOT like the door completely shut b/c she gets stressed, we just keep it mostly closed until we go to bed. Then we shut it completely and open it slightly before she gets up in the morning. That way she can come out when we are awake. We will have to have her call for us if she wakes up for a bathroom break or such in the middle of the night. I still find it safer for her.

Donna - posted on 08/27/2012

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We put up a baby gate for our daughter... Now that we are potty training her for the night time we leave it open so that if she has to go potty in the middle of the night she can go potty... But she knows that if she doesn't stay in bed that she will get her gate shut and she doesn't like sense she now has the freedom to get up when she needs to go potty...

Joanne - posted on 08/25/2012

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I never did this but I do know families who have placed gates in front of the door. I had to do the "sleep training" that I saw on supernanny, and sadly it still didn't work! Finally he just went to bed with a couple stories and routine after 3 yrs of age.

Sherri - posted on 08/23/2012

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Except locking a child in their room in many states is against the law.

Trisha - posted on 08/23/2012

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To all these mothers scolding parents for locking thier Toddlers in a room - who are you to decide the best choices for parents? - how is it different from putting a baby in a crib with the door shut? How is it different from using a baby gate, as they are still trapped in the room?



I think parents need to weigh thier options. Is it more dangerous for the child to be locked his/her room or is it more dangerous for the 2 yr old to roam the house in the middle of the night? Can the child unlock the front door? If so, that seems more dangerous to me. Is there a pool you need to worry about? Is there an accessible oven or fireplace you need to worry about? Is there a tub you need to worry about? Do you live in an area with scorpions and snake? Do you have a doggie door where the child can get out?



Do keep lighters and matches out of the reach of children at all times. I did go to a 2 year old's funeral who died in a fire, because a grandparent left a lighter in the toddlers room. The child was not locked in, but the fire pressure put such an impact on the door, that the mother could not get in with all her strength using a vacuum to hit the door.



To all mothers - don't let anyone tell you what is right or wrong for your child. Weigh your pros and cons and make the decision that is the safest for your child. We are all just trying to do our best.

Geralyn - posted on 05/10/2012

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So sad for some of these children after reading posts. But to answer your question - children have died in house fires because of locked doors. Find another way without risking your child's life.

Amelia - posted on 05/08/2012

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I have put a gate in front of my sons door. He figured out how to take it down or he just climbs over it. I have tried laying down with him and so has my husband. We have put door knob protectors on the inside of his door so he cannot open it. He has figured out how to take them off. I have even let him stay up as long as he wanted. This went on until well after 11 o'clock PM. We have played movies for him, music, and put a "dancing light" in his room. None of this has worked. He screams, kicks the door, punches the door, throws stuff...anything he can. My son is only 2. He is way ahead of his time in my opinion. I have resorted to putting him in my bed so I can keep an eye on him. I have tried literally everything that you guys have listed, and nothing works for me. I also have a 10 month old. With my 2 yo screaming and throwing a tantrum, she wakes up! I'm at my wits end! For now he is sleeping with me and I honestly do not think there is anything wrong with that either.

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