Anita - posted on 12/01/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )
I have just discovered this wonderful forum and I have sooo many questions but the main question I have at the moment is whether my 16 month old son's behaviour is like all 16 month old's? From the time he wakes up (between 5am and 6am) he whinges all day until he goes to sleep at 7pm. He has a good sleep during the day so he is not winging because he is tired (I know when he is tired..). He has always been very demanding, maybe this is my fault? I also have a 6 month old daughter but he was like this before she was born. I have noticed however in the past few weeks he has been trying to poke her in the eyes and stick his fingers in her mouth and up her nose. The other day he had his fingers down her throat and she was choking (and my back was only turned for about 5 seconds). I can't get anything housework done because I am constantly checking to see what he is doing to her. Today I actually had her in her swing on the kitchen bench so my son couldn't reach her. This is so exhausting. He never use to be like that, it's only in the past few weeks he has become really aggressive towards her. He use to cover her in kisses and cuddles, now he just hits her, stands on her, pokes her.. the list goes on...I don't know what to do, I keep saying NO in a deep tone of voice and once I even smacked him (& regretted it straight away) but I just got that much of a fright when he had his fingers down her throat and I am so exhausted from looking after both of them (they are 10 months apart.... and hard work..). I know people say 'reward good behaviour and ignore bad behaviour' but what happens when that bad behavour is dangerous. All it takes if for him to poke her in her eye and that's it. or if he bashes her with something which he has tried (the broom, saucepan lid, a bat... the list goes on....). I have stopped him about 30 times from nearly poking her in the eye but he just doesn't seem to listen. We even tried putting him in his room for a few minutes and he just screamed that much that he had a coughing fit. and then tried to poke her in the eye about 5 minutes later. just before he actually got his finger in her mouth and tried to rip her mouth off. She is only just turned 6 months old and the poor little thing has put up with so much and it hurts me because she just loves him so much but he just bullies her.
I also give him plenty of attention during the day (this is why I am exhausted lol). My whole day is spent just looking after and entertaining both of them, I don't go out at all other than to do the grocery shopping. My partner takes my son to playgroup twice a week for a few hours and to the swimming pool once or twice a week so he gets to do plenty of things. Like I said he is extremely demanding.. are all toddlers like this?
My daughter is so different to my son, she has never been hard work like my son has. She sleeps well... unlike my son who up until he was 12 months old use to wake up every 20 minutes. She also hardly cries or whinges.... unlike my son who constantly whinges and cries. When he whinges I make sure he is not hungry, not wet, no poo nappy, not thirsty, not in pain... usually he whinges when he cannot have something (like my mobile phone or anything he is not allowed to have). I try to ignore it but he just keeps whinging. .... I am sure most toddlers are like this but I am more concerned about what to do with my son poking and prodding his sister. I am hoping someone out there has some answers.....