My 10 month old son comes home from his dad with bruises and scratches

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on this before but I would appreciate some feedback regarding my 10 month old son.

My partner and I split up 4 months ago and have a good relationship regarding our son, however....

Last week he came home from his Dad's with a large bruise on his forehead. It was apparently from him falling forward onto his face, from a sitting up position, and landing on a USB cable that was lying on the floor. (He is still crawling). The bruise has taken a week to fade and ended up spreading down to his eye to give him a little shiner. Last night he came home from dinner at his Dad's with a scratch that goes from his nose and all the way down to his chin! His dad said he was sitting on the bed and the dog (a labrador cross ridgeback) scratched him with his paw!

My little boy has previously come home with bruises on the back of his head where he apparently fell backwards on the floorboards, before he learned to sit up by himself!

I'm furious from his lack of attention, care and diligence with our little boy however he says that kids get bumps and bruises and it's part of growing up. Fair enough, however if he's getting hurt like this before he can walk, can I expect him to come home with broken bones and worse because of the lack of attention and care from his father to protect him from danger?

Some feedback would be appreciated because although my son has his little falls and bumps when in my care, I'm always at hand to catch him (or block whatever item is in his way) to prevent injuries and hurtful accidents.

Is it just a 'Dad thing' to be less careful or do I have concerns?

Thanks and regards,
Adrienne

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Krissy - posted on 12/05/2010

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my boy is almost 5-christmas eve-and he is always having many bruses lumps and bumps, he comes back from pre k and there are a few new bruses to join the club!!
(they 'play' ben 10, as much as the teachers give them time out, it never works with so many kids) i 'd sudder to think if my husband and i got divorced what my two kids would come home with as he pays more attention to the tv -which i really dont want on- or the computer. i let them do things that'l teach them what not to do but only if it 's not going to harm them serverly in any way. i hope that all goes well and that the benifit of doubt happens to be true and not anything bad, a good way to know that is if your child, although 10 months and still changing is acting different all the time or unhappy when he comes home from his dad, and then settles happily when he's with you. good luck.

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[deleted account]

Adrienne, my son and his wife are seperated and he is living with us for now. I have come to see that he does not keep as close an eye on him as I would like and my grandson is 3. Kids are very prone to their bumps and bruises b/c my grandson looked like we beat his legs. Don't jump to conclusions but don't ignore it either.

Danielle - posted on 12/15/2010

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i have twin girls and at that age they got themselves some nasty bruises, but im not the overprotective type. prolly something to do with growing up in the country lol. maybe you should ask him if he would mind you coming over and baby proofing his place to be as safe as yours. the fact that he spends most of his time at your house makes a big difference too, he sees dads as a new place to explore each time, and dads place prolly isnt as super baby proofed as moms. but know fathers love thier kids just as much as mom. Im just guessing, but it may have a bit to do with him being a baby boy instead of a girl. Men like thier boys to play rougher, if it was a girl spending time with daddy she would prolly come bck wrapped like a porcelian doll...thats how it was between my father and me and him with my brothers

Marcie - posted on 12/14/2010

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well you are right about the boo boo thing, but i honestly must say that if it takes almost a week for a bruise to fade you should get that checked out and especially if a big ugly scratch happens right after to because you know maybe yeah so he might have fallen ok but if it is constant like this i would seek a doctor to take some x-rays just to make sure it is not something serious. I am just syggesting not acuseing but most cases like these are often saying something else cause my hubby lets our kids make mistakes and all but they have never had a bad bruise that took a week to start fadding and my kids have taken falls as hard as falling from the couch and had no bruises but the reason they fell is cause they wouldn't listen to us whenever we said not to and they learned why they listen.lol And my daughter at 10 months fell on hard kitchen floor backwards and hit the slidding glass door also but very little because she was trying to use the curtains to help her learn how to walk and she bairly had a bump, i mean trust me i checked and was very worried she really hurt her-self badly but funny thing she ended up walking the very next day.So if I were you i would just keep a close eye out and if your child gets another hard bruise that takes that long to fade away just take them to the doctor please because i study highly on child abuse and i would hate to not give my advice and make a mother awair of what could be going on rather then just asuming she knows and nothing be done. Just a little advice and i hope it does not make you mad in any way it just reassures myself that i have helped another women out by giving my view from it :-) but i do hope it is just a father who needs to work on his saftey q with his son.

Dorota - posted on 12/07/2010

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My son is 15 months old and it seems that he cries a lot more when playing with his dad. For a while I was very upset about it, but I come to realize it is a man thing. They are just different than we are. Just keep your eyes open. If you think something more serious is happening you have to protect your little boy.

User - posted on 12/04/2010

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I'm being extremely sincere when I say that my husband is way slack in the "cautious" department. I honestly think it is a man thing.
And yes I will admit I am way way way overprotective as the Mom. SIGH..... men and women see things from such different perspectives. Just communicate as best as you can would be my only advise:)

[deleted account]

Thanks Jenny and Chrissy.
His Dad and I have spoken and I have asked him to be more careful.
I've been pretty relaxed about letting my little boy have special, individual relationships with family who take care of him because obviously not everyone is going to attend to him the way his mother will. At least his Dad is aware of where I stand and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt to appreciate he might have started to get a bit ‘footloose and fancy free’ with our son’s care, whereas he is going to be more attentive now.
Thanks again.

Jenny - posted on 12/04/2010

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I can see your concern, maybe dad could pay a little more attention to your baby getting hurt or having accidents. I understand kids do get bumps and bruises but all the time? Just keep an eye on your baby and talk with his dad about it and hopefully he will realize your concern.

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