My one yr old girl won't stop screaming if she can't get her way!!! What can I do to stop this?

Estelle - posted on 10/05/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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It's driving me and daddy up the walls!! Is it normal for them to scream like that? How can we make her stop doing that?

Please help!!

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Betty - posted on 10/07/2009

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My daughter did (does that occasinally). i used to scream back that don't work, then i let her have her tantrum and walked away... i started to ignore her when she did that then when she was over screaming i explain to her not to scream and tell her she can't have it ... doesn't always work... but when they do have a tantrum i walk away then she stops

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If you can see the fit coming on try to distract/change the envorinment. Try to avoid situations the cause these fits. While the fit is occuring walk away - do something else. do not give your daughter the audience she wants. When she starts to calm down from her fit you then walk over and praise her ability to calm down. Talk to her, at her eye level, about how you know she was upset and why she was upset (validating her feelings) but also tell her other ways to vent her frustration. She won't understand all of this at first, but it is a good habit to get into, and she will relax to your soft, even voice. Over time it will get better. My son threw the same silly fits. He still does - but with much less intensity and on a rarer basis. Good luck!

Sara - posted on 10/06/2009

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As mean as this might sound. And some parents may not agree with it but if u just let her throw her fit and not give her, her way she will stop doing it. My 2 yr old son does that when he comes home from his dads house cuz he's step brother does it and he thinks he can do it and get away with it. Anyway, just walk away and she'll get the point sooner or later even thou it may drive u nuts until she understands it.

Kelli - posted on 10/06/2009

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I have found that getting down on their level works the best. My son gets into grunting fits and it's easily calmed down once I sit down with him so that we are looking at each other eye-to-eye. Talking calmly and firmly once you have her attention seems to soothe them into thinking that you understand her frustrations, once you have her attention ask her to point or show you what she's upset about....hope this helps, good luck :)

Chris - posted on 10/05/2009

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My daughter did that too. I just ignored her and she learned it didn't do any good. Also, I could see when she was on her way to a screaming fit and instead of just telling her no I'd give her options. "You can't do that, but here is this or this. Which do you prefer?" Worked wonders at prevention! Still does at three years old!

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Bettina - posted on 04/05/2012

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I know this sounds awful but like with many of you, my biggest problem is my husband!!! Sometimes I might invest over an hour working with Andrew on this issue. If I am in the middle of something & Andrew starts demanding that I do this or do that I try really hard not to give in and I will explain to him that "Mommy needs 2 minutes Andrew" but instead of ignoring him completely I at least try to calm him first, I will get down to his eye level (as suggested by KellI & Hannah below), explain to him in non-baby tones that he needs to wait for 2 mins. Quite often, obtaining those 2 mins is a 15 min painstaking procedure. Some days, I actually think to myself "wow, I think we've made progress". Then in walks my husband and the first time he has the opportunity to reinforce the work I've done he caves in!!! So, firstly, look forward to reading more suggestions on how to positively impact Andrew's behaviour and secondly and more importantly, can anybody help me with my husband (sort of 'LOL' and sort of serious) .........

Carolee - posted on 10/17/2009

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I put my son in time-out (which is a chair we have by the couch) while I sit on the couch. I will calmly tell him to calm down, and if he doesn't, he doesn't get up. I stay quiet for a couple of minutes, and ask him to calm down again... this usually is repeated multiple times... until he actually calms down. Then, I tell him that he can get down to give mommy a hug. While he's still on my lap, we talk about how screaming and crying doesn't work at our house. We explain that if he wants something, he has to ask for it politely, and if we say "no", then that's your answer, and throwing a fit won't do anybody any good. I know it sounds a little passive, but sometimes they just need to vent their feelings. As he gets older, we started talking about why he threw the fit (he was angry because of this, he was sad because of that). My son is only 2, but he's now a very polite 2 year old that only occasionally throws fits like that. Normally they don't even last long enough for him to be put on the chair.

Kathleen - posted on 10/16/2009

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My issue is more her dad. I leave her to have her tantrum. Usually walk about five feet away. Her father will try to get her to laugh or whatever to cheer her up and that drives me crazy. I am constantly telling him to just leave her alone. When she is ready she will come to me and we will discuss the issue. But he doesn't understand the not pacifying her part. Any ideas on how to fix him. Just kidding. Figure there is no changing him at this stage.

Kimberly - posted on 10/16/2009

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I am going through this right now, I know you frustration.lol. You have to just walk away a little bit and show them that your not going to baby them. Then let them though the fit! Just watch them and the whole time say it's okay, everything is alright... You just have to be strong and don't give in! Your not being mean just explain why she can have/do it to her after she is done.

Kathleen - posted on 10/10/2009

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i just walk away. she will stop. later after the behavior is gone explain why you did that. Mine stops instantly when I walk away from her. Don't leave her out of eyesight though.

Crystle - posted on 10/05/2009

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Children love an audience. Give her some time alone but from a eye lengh she will get the point. Try getting her attention on something else for the time being.

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