My son is 3yrs old and he refuses to use the potty

Cassandra - posted on 09/14/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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My son is 3yrs old he refuses to use the potty. he will wait till he has already used it on himself then tell me. I've tried pull ups the ones that cool, underwear everything nothing helps. i want to put him in daycare but it cost more when they are not potty trained. I feel like i'm not doing mmy job as a parent because other children are potty trained at his age. He also refuses to let go of the bottle what do i do.

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Brandi - posted on 09/24/2009

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For the bottle, try only giving him water in it (NO MILK). Then replace the afternoon water bottle with a sippy cup. Then take the morning one away. the last one to take is the night one. My son was a little stubborn about his bottle too and this really worked pretty well. If you give them water in it instead of milk, they tend to lose interest.

As for the potty, I would try regular big boy underwear. Let him pick them out. Explain to him that we don't pee/poop in the big boy underwear. then be really diligent in encouraging him to use the potty throughout the day. Lots of praise when he does use the potty (when my daughter did it we practically threw a parade). Lastly, patience is key. My daughter never used the training pants. they didn't seem to work. they kept her too dry and she didn't see the need to use the potty. Try not to wait until he tells you. You should continuously suggest it to him. Potty training is the biggest pain ever, I think. i hated it with my daughter and am not looking forward to it with my son, but it's amazing how fast they learn when they decide to be ready. I tried to "make" my daughter do it at like 28 mos. old and she wouldn't do it until she felt like it. She was very excited about starting preschool, so i told her that they don't allow children in diapers in preschool, that gave her some incentive too if your son is looking forward to something like that it may help.

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Dee Dee - posted on 03/13/2014

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I know the feeling of mom failure..my son is four and won't even attempt to tell me when he needs the potty..I've been trying since he was three..so frustrating!!

Amy - posted on 10/24/2011

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We are in the same boat! My son is two and a half and hides to go do his business then comes back with diaper and wipes. He could care less if I make him sit in it, and have also tried prizes, chuck e cheese, stickers, and potty in the living room with cartoons! I am desperate as I have a 6 month old also!

Nicole - posted on 09/25/2009

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Hi im having the same problem my little boy was so good at going to the toilet about 6months ago now he wont go at all im back to nappies its very frustrating i know i guess if they r not ready themselves you cant force or push them into doing it.

Deborah - posted on 09/24/2009

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for the bottle, I sat my son down and we decided together to throw it away, and praised him on what a big boy he was....on the potty training, well....try cheerios in the potty, let him practice aiming for them, and I also allowed my son to go outside and practice peeing on a tree. sounds funny, but it worked, not even a accident at night...good luck

SINEAD - posted on 09/24/2009

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my son will be 4 in a few weeks time, and during the summer he had 3 weeks dry and using the toilet, he never did no2 in the toilet yet. few days before starting nursery school he stopped using the toilet and i have tried everything to no avail, im at my wits end as he just refuses to use the toilet and constantly wets himself, teachers at nursery say he does use the toilet with the other kids, but he wets himself on the way home and for the rest of the day. I have pull-ups on him at nursery as i dont want him to have any accidents but take them off the minute he comes home, any suggestions, please help

Connie - posted on 09/23/2009

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I have the same problem with my son. He wont have nothing to do with potty training. I dont know what to do about it for my son. I have tried it all as well, failed it all. The one thing I havent tried is what a friend told me to do. throw a potty party. I even bought some boxers for my son, it didnt work either. Maybe together we can figure out how to make kids potty train.

As far as the bottle goes.... just keep tryin different sippy cups.

Good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 09/22/2009

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My older son absolutely refused to potty train until he was OVER 3 1/2. Then one day he decided he'd use the potty. No accidents, no drama, nothing. He trained himself and that was it. Believe me, I read every book, watched the videos with him, sought advice, tried EVERYTHING. He just wanted to do it on his own terms. Every child is different.

Dorcas - posted on 09/17/2009

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It is nice to hear that other people's three year olds are not potty trained yet. My oldest son is 3 and a half (will be four in January) and he refuses to use the toilet most of the time. Every once in a while he will sit on the potty and poop if he is having trouble getting it out. If you ask him if you want to use the potty he just yells NO.

We have tried just putting underware on him and all he did was pee on the floor. He didn't like getting his pants wet, but it didn't stop him from doing it again. The only thing I haven't tried is putting cherios in the toilet, because I was afraid that my now 2 year old would try to eat them out of the toilet or think that he could put other things in the toiler. I have a second son that just turned 2 this month and he is more interest in the toilet than my older son. We even have tried not letting my 3 year old play with the Wii. Everytime he asks to play bowling on the Wii, I tell him he has to go pee pee or poopy in the potty. In November we will be having our third son. It would be nice if I didn't have three in diapers. I did talk to their doctor at my second son's 2 year appointment. He said to try not to get frustrated with Lucas or with other adults that look down at him/us because he is not potty trained yet. He said to just keep encouraging him and praising him when he does well. It becomes less of a control issue for him then.

Becki - posted on 09/17/2009

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the bottle throw them all away or at least at first hide them.

they have soft nipple sippy cups i had used nuby. this might help.

pull ups some kids use them as diapers.



try letting him run around the house with nothing no diapers no underwear.

this might help him to actually feel that he has to go before its too late.

Rochelle - posted on 09/17/2009

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At 3 my little boy wouldn't use the potty either and he was scared ot the toilet seats that fit onto the seat so bought him one that fit over the whole toilet and have a step up and handles. He was much happier. By the time he was 3 his bottom was too big for the potty anyway and he isn't fat so I had no chance.

Danielle - posted on 09/17/2009

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My youngest will be 4 in about 1 month. He is just with in the last 6 to 8 weeks has decided to use the potty. We tried around 2, with no luck, and again around 3. He would do the same thing your little one is doing, waiting until it is too late! Be paitent and wait for him. He will use the potty when he is ready. Just keep doing what you are doing, I was there just a few weeks ago:) As far as the bottle, not sure. I nursed both of my boys and they went to cups after that! Good luck!

Kari - posted on 09/16/2009

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Well, I can tell you that my three year old who will be four in December, just got it down. I've been working with her for almost a year with absolutely no success. The other week, it seemed all of a sudden she was waking up dry and not having any accidents during the day. They'll do it when they're ready! I hated hearing that from other people, but it is so true! Stop comparing yourself to other parents whose kids were potty trained at this certain age... :) You'll drive yourself crazy! As for the bottle thing, just take it away! That was my kids' first birthday present...no bottles :)

Shannon - posted on 09/16/2009

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I also agree that all children eventually learn in their own time to use the potty. I tried when my DD was 18 mths but she wasn't ready so I waited till she was 2 1/2. She truly did it herself.
I read a book called "Potty Training in one Day" and although I didn't do everything the book said the best idea I got from it was using a doll (or his favorite stuffie) and walked through how to use the potty with it. I focused solely on potty training for one day. We would take dolly to the potty and I would pull down dolly's pants, "pee" in the potty, empty it and give her a treat (which DD got to eat) Then we would go back to playing. We would check dolly and if she was dry she got a reward, but when she was wet we would change her and remind her to go pee in the potty. This was helpful because my daughter began changing herself when she had an accident. I strongly recommend this book as a guideline and to encourage you. It will take time but remember this is just another step you and your son will accomplish :)

Nataley - posted on 09/16/2009

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i did not give my boy the potty he had a step up box and toilet step ladder he liked this being like daddy but keep enjoying motherhood he will embrace it when he is ready

[deleted account]

I told my youngest daughter " you are not allowed to use the potty, I want you to stay a baby and keep wearing diapers forever." And I would put a diaper on her and make it take forever and started using the changing table again and made a big deal out of it. Then when she wanted to use the potty I kinda coaxed her to talk me into it. it took a few days, but after she decided she didn't like being a baby she changed her tune. also I think when she saw it didn't bother me that she wasn't using it took away the leverage. Best luck! Don;'t worry, all kids get potty trained sometime.

[deleted account]

My son did not like the potty and did the same thing as yours. One day i decided to put him on the toilet and told him he was a big boy like daddy and he went! He bypassed the potty all-together and went straight to the toilet. it still took time to train him but at least he went. He loves cars so everytime he did a poo on the toilet i gave him a toy car. At first he would ask for a car but after a week he forgot to ask so i didn't give him one. Now hes off nappies and fully trained!

Fiona - posted on 09/14/2009

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Hi, maybe he's just not ready yet!!!! Have you spoken to your health visitor about him not using the potty yet? They may have more suggestions for you. I work in a nursery and there are children there who are also 3 and also not potty trained, so don't worry about it. He will do it when he's ready. Maybe try keeping a potty out in the lounge, so he gets used to it being around, that way it wont be as scary for him when he actually needs to use it. and every time you change his nappy, put him on the potty in-between .

Cynthia - posted on 09/14/2009

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First of all, never let yourself feel like you are not a goos enough mommy! Some kids are just more difficcult than others, it's not your fault! I'm sure you are doing your bes and that's what really matters! Have you tried rewarding him for using the potty? The only way it worked for me, is I took several days to stay home and basically do nothing else, but in the end it was SO worth the sacrifice! I got a cartoon I knew he would love and put a potty chair right in the living room. He cried and threw fits at first, but soon learned that as long as he sat on the potty the movie stayed on, if not it got shut off. As soon as he would go on the potty, I would give him a special little candy or treat that he loved. It didn't take long until he was aking to go to the potty, and then reminding me t get his treat. Good luck and keep encouraged.! "This too shall pass!"

Megan - posted on 09/14/2009

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For the bottle I would just take it away thats what i did with my son when he turned one i no longer gave him a bottle it was a sippy cup. then now the only time he even gets that because he is turning three here soon on halloween is when he is going to bed he will get water in it because i take water to bed so it would be hypocritical of me to tell him he couldn't have water at night if he can not. As for the potty training deal if you have tried about every thing then i don't know what to tell you then maybe just tell him that he will never be able to go to school then with all the other kids. he will always be different because you will have to teach him at home because he will not go on the potty chair. You probably have tried that too. but in reality with potty training the key is consitincy. you have to pick on thing and stick with it. like put him back in the underpants and put him on time out for going in his pants but what ever you pick to do next you need to pick something that he does not enjoy very much and stick with it even if it seems like it is not working because the minute you put him back in dipers you are going to have to start all over again.

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