PLEASE HELP!! MY 3 YEAR OLD IS REALLY ACTING OUT AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Please help me! My 3 year old son is a very sweet boy, who I believe tries to be good, but has a real problem with authority. He was home with me for almost 3 years before he & his younger brother started daycare this past August. He's always had a problem with not listening to what he's told, but lately he's gotten much worse! I know he's only 3, but am worried if something doesn't happen to make him listen soon, he'll only get worse the older he gets. His teacher says he's easily distracted, sometimes refuses to sit still & participate w/his class & causes other kids to follow his behavior and talks back! I can't take him anywhere without him throwing a fit to have his way and causing a scene! I've tried time outs, they just don't work w/him. I've tried EVERYTHING!! My husband is worried that he may be hyper active, but I refuse to drug my little man. I've mentioned all of this to the pediatrican, but he feels he's a perfectly normal 3 year old. Does anyone have any experience w/any of this?

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Andrea - posted on 02/04/2009

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I don't think drugs are necessary. I have worked with children from 18mos to 6+ yrs. for about 10 years. Not that that makes me an expert, so take what I say as you will. I think he is acting out because he is testing you and daycare. I am betting that he is angry on some level about not being home. He may think (subconciously) that if he acts out daycare wont let him come anymore. It could be fear of something as well.



I do think he should be starting to "get" the daycare thing though. Like, starting to participate and have fun. If he is not doing that at all then I would worry a little.

Even if there is something not "normal" you don't need to turn to drugs. There are many different ways to deal with hyper activity and related problems. In many states you can get a FREE evaluation and support through either the school systems or state. They can provide therapy that is just fun play to the child. They can give you tools to use at home and information on your childs condition - that's if he even has one. (maybe he just holds on to his anger or fears)



From my experience some daycares just get fed up with some kids and kind of write them off as bad apples. It is not that they are bad people. It is a very hard job. It is hard to find a place in your heart for every child that comes in. They don't pay well and have long hours so the burn out rate is high. Because of this I think talking to the school district for info is the best. If they cant help they should know who can. Don't be afraid if they have you talk to people labeled special ed. That just means they have training - not that you have a special ed kid. :o)



I hope this helps.

Kristina - posted on 02/04/2009

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i'm going thru the same thing with my son....and have gone thru it a year ago with my oldest ......it just normal 3 year old thing that they do...he will grow out of it by the time he's 4 trust me.....and as far as daycare goes he's stressed out in his own way....he was at home with you and he got used to you being there whenever he needed you and now all of that is changed,he has all these people around him and he doesn't know if he can trust them he wants you and when you can't be there he gets mad and starts acting out.and he doesn't like it when you aren't around to calm him down...give him time he will come around....it's all normal don't stress out over it too much it's not good for you!!!

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Chris - posted on 02/05/2009

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My DD started acting out when she was younger and in daycare. Once I pulled her I found problems at the daycare that stressed her. one provider that was uncaring and let her scream until she was sick and would rather talk on her phone than be with the kids. Check with your daycare and make sure they are truly handling his behaivior and in a good way! Then offer hi privlidges when he behaves. 



A book "Happiest Toddler on the Block" By Dr. Harvey Karp helped TONS with my understanding of my DD and her frustrations. 

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