potty training help me! i feel like its impossible
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Elena - posted on 03/07/2010
My son has just turned 3 yrs and 5 months.... we started to potty train him about two months ago. I had tried a month before that, but it didn't seem that he was willing to try at all. Then about two months ago, I was so upset with him still being in diapers that I started again. The best advice I can give you, (I've also potty trained my daughter who is now 6 and a half) is to go cold turkey. What I mean is pick a day (could be whenever you are ready) and then the night before, take all his training pants and hide them and make him wear underwear (buy him a lot of whatever his favorite characters are - my son loves Lightning McQueen). I told my son that the diaper fairy came and took all his diapers away and that he needed to be a big boy and go potty now. The first two weeks are going to be really, really hard... Believe me when I tell you that I almost lost it... I had to be on top of him every minute (and there were many times when I wasn't and he did make a lot of messes). So I took notes of when I fed him and what times he pooped and peed (you might want to do this when he is still in training pants). Then you have to stay on top of him...I learned to recognize the signs - dancing around , you know, boys will grab themselves or run around in circles... You have to learn to read his signs and know when he goes to the bathroom. I started with the portable potty, it was too much work to take him to the bathroom. I needed the potty to be wherever I was with him. Buy one you think he'd like - we bought one that made music every time he pooped or peed and I would say to him "I want to hear the music play.." and he would laugh and go. After about the first week, he would go on the potty (with us always having to take him) but then one day, he decided to not go at all. This was when I tried the reward method - I'll buy you a toy etc... That didn't work. Then, one day I said to him, if you don't go pee pee on the potty, I am going to take away your cars (he has a ton of matchbox cars and some are his real favorites). After that time, whenever he didn't go on the potty I took the cars away. After awhile, he would actually give me the cars when he knew he had gone in his pants. But he understood that if he didn't go in the potty, he would not get his favorite toys to play with. He was being really stubborn about not going and this was the only way I could get him to go. I know it might sound mean, but it was the only way I could get him to go back on the potty again.
Now he goes all on his own. He runs to the potty everytime. From time to time, we still have accidents but the majority of time he is really good. Oh and when you are still in the beginning stages, make sure you bring extra clothes with you when going out and cover the car seat with some kind of cloth just in case he goes on the seat. I would make him go pee pee before we went out (or poopy) so I knew I had some time to be out with him before he had to go again. I always carried a portable potty seat with me and even had one where you could put a bag underneath just in case. Always carry a bag of extra clothes.
I know it sounds like a lot of work, but no one ever said it would be easy. I understand your frustration (I was there) and he will learn to use the potty (and buying some videos too will help - I have Potty time with Bear (in the big blue house) and the Elmo potty training one too.
Sarah - posted on 03/04/2010
I just went and baught all kinds of underwear for my son and stopped putting diaper and pull ups on him and then just kept making him go to the bathroom and atleast trying to go pee atleast 2 or 3 times an hour till he finally got the hang of what he was supposed to be doin. deffinetly have to be patient there will be lots of accidents but those are to be expected. he just turned 3 and now only wheres night time pull ups when he goes to bed. other then that he is all potty trained it took awhile but he finally got the hang of it.
To interact with other moms or post a question, please confirm your account by checking your email or get a new confirmation email.
Magalysworld - posted on 08/15/2012
my grandaughter is 4.3 and she refuses to go to the potty any ideas...she knows what to do but she completely ignore the signs, she hates been taken to the toilet and is a challenge. I trained my daughters just fine right at 2. this one is just not working? could it be psychological problem?
Abigail - posted on 03/09/2010
at first i was having a hard time too.. and i felt like giving up on my lil girl.. but then i got her a potty of dora and thats her all times fav.. and she would always sit on it and i guess that got her to potty .. she was potty trained in less then 2 weeks and he was 1 year and 9months .. try that
Krystal - posted on 03/09/2010
My son is 2 1/2 and he tells me when he has to go. I give him a treat when he goes but he uses it against me cause he just wants a treat. Sometimes he only goes a little and expects a treat. I was told u have to figure out what they want. My son also gets a sticker on the calendar when he goes poop and he loves it. Just find something they like and it will be easy after that. Also getting started take them every 20 to 30 minutes and when they go in the potty act super excited and they will get excited too.
Khushbu - posted on 03/08/2010
My son will turn 22month in this week, I started when he was 17 month old. There is no age for potty train actually you can start after he/she have some fix time that you know and so you can take him to bathroom. I usually take him with me and than always use tell him that potty use to be do in toilet not in diaper. Than I set time for pee i use take him every 2 hrs or after he drinks something. For potty I know his timing as now he only goes once in day. After taking his morning milk. I am so surprise that now he tell me every time if he wants to do pee or poo or take anyone near the bathroom so if i was not there who ever is around him they can know. I also always praise him when he use potty.
Christina you should try to take your son for potty as he understanding so its good that he know how things work. Try to use pull ups so he can know how take off, that also helpful.
Desirea - posted on 03/08/2010
I think the most important thing to remember is, this should be fun for both of you (more him then you ;) This is a big step for our little ones. What I did with my baby girl was, at first just to get her to sit on the potty I would give her one piece of M&Ms. Then once she went potty I would give her one and do the "potty dance" (I just made up a really silly song and dance that she loved) and if she went number 2 she got two m&ms. This was really special for her because she never really gets sweets. My little girl was potty trained and in big girl panties full time 3 weeks before she was 2 years old. I started when she was 19 months old. Remember too, if your son isn't ready, don't push it. All the books I read said kids get potty trained at 3-4 years old. Even my daughter's Dr told me she was to young. I hope this helps. Enjoy being a Mommy :)
Chelle - posted on 03/08/2010
We were given the suggestion to put our little boy on the potty as early as 3 months old and it didnt take him long to get the hang of what he was supposed to do. After every breast feed we put him on there. He is now using a mix between the padded toilet seat to go on the adult toilet and his potty. We definitely catch more than we miss these days and altho he does not have the language for it yet (he is 16mths) there are a number of indications to show when he needs to go. I also have a board where i have taken photos of different things he might need at some time or another, and when i ask him "what do you want now" he will go and pick one of them. We have had some very exciting times where he has shown he wants to go to the potty by selecting that photo and actually gone. There have been times where the nappy is not wet. Its great, we make a BIIIG deal out of when he goes, showing both of us if we are home, clapping, yaying, high fiving him etc. He also gets to flush the big toilet and wash his hands when he goes, something he really loves to do. If he wets his nappy or poos it he is not told off. We just encourage him when he does go. The only time he gets told off is if he pees or on the odd occassion, poos on the floor. Sometimes he has shown he wants to go by banging on the bathroom door too. Its about consistency, praise and patience.
Sue - posted on 03/06/2010
I amin the same situation as you my son will be 3 in July ans know what to do and uses the potty somestimes and than rebels and htans back to diapers and pull-ups. I havea daughter who turns 2 in July also so it is challaging. I agree patience is the key.
Laura - posted on 03/06/2010
Potty training is quite an adventure, as I am learning with my daughter. She is going to be 2 on Sunday and has been giving the signals for quite a while. The only issue we are having is that she will take off her diaper and go on the floor. We are not punishing for this, but are trying to take her to the bathroom when it happens. She seems to want to go on the potty, but just doesn't quite get there. I agree that patience is the best thing. Good luck.
I have a 3 year old girl who knows to go to the toilet but will not she rather hold on or hide and go but she will not poo in her pants but takes them of and then does her business and then sticks it in the toilet. I have heard that girls are easier than boys but my boys were trained when they were 21/2 and they learn t pretty quickly I had them train for the toilet within the month. I think if they are ready they basically tell you but if they are not forcing them set you back and can have problems so with Kate I just think ah well nappy back on I try again later. Also Summer is a better time to train so they can run around with underwear on reducing washing. If they can not pull there pants on or of or if they can not tell you they want to go there is really no point in training them as they just not ready. sometimes training straight onto the toilet is better but get a small toilet insert they have ones with Dora or Princess or boys one, so they do not full down, with a wall chart. The other thing is if he is being looked after by other people, daycare or father they need to be aware of the toilet training as you doing all the hard work to have it undone by people putting them back in the nappy giving mixed signals and confusing the kid.
Paula - posted on 03/05/2010
I have a 3yr old girl, not completely the same process as a boy, I kno but there's similarities. My roomie has a boy though. What I did was took out a bunch of books out from the library about potty training. She found the right book for her and started potty training. Now our kids are doing the opposite thing. My daughter will pee in the potty but won't poop in it. Her son will poop in the potty but won't pee in it. But we keep telling each other to be patient. Because I kno I have days where I get sick of poopy underwear and she'll feel like her hard work is useless because her boy will come home from his dad's in a diaper. But then there are those days were they both do really well. So if you can, go to the library and get some books on potty training and be patient. He will get it and then you'll be so happy you are done with diapers/pull ups
Gina - posted on 03/05/2010
be patient, the more you stress the more resistant your child will be. We kept a potty chart and that really didn't work too well. My advise is this (it will be hard): relax, breathe, know that your child will get it and once he does you will never have to worry about it again. One day he will be invested in being a big boy for himself, going potty will bring pride and self accomplishment, until he cares about that, why go through the torture that is going in the toilet when it is obviously easier to go in the potty. My son was potty trained at 3 1/2 and poppy trained after 4.
Kellymar - posted on 03/05/2010
I know this isn't the most nutritional but my son gave me a hard time so I would buy m&m's and tell him if he went pee he got one m&m if he pooped he got two m&m's. It also helped to take him to the bathroom and show him to the real toilets and explain what happens there most kids want to go potty where grown ups go most importantly praise your child when they attempt to go that usually keeps things going.
Abbey - posted on 03/05/2010
I highly recommend Lora Jensen's 3 day potty training method. It's a rough few days, but worth it. My son did not respond to anything and I really think doing her method works best, especially for kids who do not respond to rewards or seem to care about going potty. It's not to say they won't have an occasional accident after 3 days, but they pretty much have it down after that.
Maggie - posted on 03/05/2010
my sons were both potty trained by 18 months. It CAN be done!! Even with BOYS!!
Celebrate success, ignore failure. Give him lots of praise when he goes on the potty. sing, dance, clap, give him a treat (my second I trained without treats). If he goes in his pants then just clean him up and move on like nothing happened.
Take him to the potty often. Make potty time fun with books, cards, toys - whatever he likes. If he sits but doesn't go then tell him he did a good job sitting.
Kids want to please their parents. Let him know you like it when he goes potty (by doing the things I mentioned) and he will want to go.
Mattie - posted on 03/05/2010
Don't feel bad Amanda. My daughter went at two and my first boy, who's 11 yrs old now went at 3 years old. My little Jake will turn 3 in April and I've tried lots of things and he still doesn't go. I haven't tried the colored Fruit Loops in the toilet yet,,but gonna give it a try....Some of these moms have good ideas. I've heard from Child Psychologist James Dobson, that you can't rush them...besides who's ever heard of a 4-5 yr old not going to the potty...I haven't yet. They'll get it...Hang in there mom...I know I am...c-= Hugs
Brittany - posted on 03/04/2010
I'm in the process of potty training my son who is 2 years and 7 months old and he's been successful in peeing on the potty but he has always been a pain in going #2. So What I do is keep him bare bum when he says he's gotta go or I can tell he's doing the potty dance. He's gotten good. Don't get frustrated because you child can sense it and it puts a fear in them and then they are afraid to even sit on the potty. Stay positive and offer little rewards for being a big kid. I even got rid of the diapers at night and gave him pull ups we call "Big boy night night pants". He'll tell me diapers are for babies and so he refuses to use them at night. Get them in the mind set that it's okay to grow up and be a big kid. That means they can do things for themselves. I also give him options on his underwear too. I let him pick out which ones he wants to wear. It makes him feel grown up to make decisions.
My son will be 3 is about 1 1/2 weeks and he just potty trained a few months ago. I tried everything, the stickers, rewards, treats, pull ups. None of that worked. We had purchased a potty when he was about 1 yrs old. There were some days that he would use the potty but not everyday, than he went through a period where he refused to use the potty or wear a diaper so he would wear his pull ups. When we ran out of pull ups and he did not want to wear the diaper he had to wear the underwear. It took about 2 times of not going to the potty for him to decide that he was ready to use the potty and not be wet. Now he tells us that if we put a pull up or diaper on him he will pee in it. They will train when they are ready and it takes time.
Louise - posted on 03/04/2010
If your child is not ready to potty train then you are on a loser. Do not rush to potty train. A boy seems to take longer to get the hang of using the toilet. My boys never used a potty I used a toilet seat for kids. I used normal pants so that they got the sensation of being wet and dirty and they soon got the message that going to the toilet took less time then having to be washed and changed. Be patient it will happen eventually.
Sharon - posted on 03/03/2010
I'm in the midst of potty training too. My son is three. He knows what to do, he knows when he should be going to the potty, but he is often to involved in what he is doing and doesn't want to take potty breaks. I just picked up "training pants" (underwear with some extra padding) to see if they give some more encouragement to use the potty than the pull ups have.
Roxanne - posted on 03/03/2010
Wow, well, each of my 4 children learned a different way and took different amounts of time. My daughter wasnt even 2 when she was potty trained but son was almost 4 when he FINALLY decided to use a toilet. My belief: introduce the potty, encourage the potty, reward for potty use, but do not punish for not using the toilet. They will do it when they are ready:)
Serena - posted on 03/03/2010
It is such an adventure that the first time that they really go on their own you want to call everyone you know and celebrate! I know I did and many of my single friends didn't quite share in my excitement LOL. It takes time and patience and I hate to say it, he has to be ready for it. I was not happy when people told me this but as my son got the hang of it, I realized they were right.
How old is he and does he even want to yet? I know what helped was my husband taking my son with him to potty. They used to "race". There is only so much they learn from us. Plus we used a sticker chart and assorted prizes for more advanced pottying (going without being told or poo) that you can order from oriental trading or the dollar store. The main thing is to make it a very big deal when he goes. Basically you have to make a fool of yourself doing the potty dance or something. It goes a long way. Good luck.
Annalea - posted on 03/03/2010
For boys, put cheerios or some kind of dissolvable food in the potty so they can aim. It makes it more fun so they have something they have to hit or aim into. Giving them snacks if they go to the potty is good incentive too. Or have them go with you or your husband/boyfriend when you go to the bathroom so they can watch and learn more.
Christina - posted on 03/02/2010
Tell me about it! My boy turns 2 this month and I have no idea even where to start! I have bought a pottie and so far have taught him that he poo's and pee's in his nappy but one day will use a toilet. He shows signs of understanding but I don't really know where to go from there. Looking forward to seeing what kind of advice u get so that I mite benifit from it too.
To interact with other moms or post a question, please confirm your account by checking your email or get a new confirmation email.
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms