Sarah - posted on 04/12/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )
Recently at a counselling session it was identified that my little girl who is 18 months old is showing the signs of separation anxiety which I think has been going on for a little while now.
When my husband was asked what his thoughts were on this he said that he believed that I had created this myself so basically it was my mistake and it is for me to fix. The counsellor did state that this really isn't a helpful attitude.
It has gotten to the point now that Maisie is also now being clingy to me when daddy is home, if I go out and leave her she crys a fair amount of the time that I am gone.
I read the section on Separation Anxiety in "The Mighty Toddler" by Robyn Barker who believes that sneaking out is really not the right thing to do as it will create trust issues. I told my husband that I wanted to read to him what I had read but due to his lack of interest I haven't bothered. I did explain that what I had read said sneaking away is really not the answer, so on the weekend I went to do the grocery shopping, leaving her with her dad and step brother and two step sisters and what did my husband insist that I do.....yep sneak away. And yes she cryed most of the time I was gone and asked for me.
It breaks my heart to see her little face when I get back when she has a look of panic on it.
Maisie will go with my mum, gets a little upset at first but mum says that she is right within a couple of minutes. Mum says to her that they are just going to the shops or whatever they might be doing and then they will come back to me. My mum says that if she got really distressed that she would bring her back to me straight away.
My mother-in-law on the other hand is a different story. I generally get along well with her but when Maisie won't give her a kiss when she arrives, then freaks out if she is going to go somewhere with her my mother-in-law says "I don't know why she doesn't like me" " I haven't done anything to her." I know that she wouldn't have done anything to her, I don't doubt it for a second but I get tired of hearing "I don't know why she doesn't like me" Then to make it worse "Well what is she like with your mum"
It is really starting to get on top of me, I have been advised by the counsellor that I need to make arrangements to have someone have her one day a week on a regular basis, be that with a family member of daycare as I need to have some of my own time and we need to teach her that mummy isn't going to leave her. Daycare at the moment just isn't financially possible and family members aren't seeming very enthused to committ to a regular day a week.
Does anyone have any advise how to deal with this issue??????