She'll pee, but won't poop in the toilet! Any suggestions?

Nicole - posted on 06/10/2010

We're still working on this one with our son. Persistence is key.
He also will tell us he has to go poo and since he is so young (20 months) we try for about 30 minutes on the potty with books etc before sending him on his way (the last time we tried to wait him out it took almost 2 hours, I do home day care, I cannot be doing that every day).
More often then not he will go in his underwear come tell me (sign potty or poop at me) and as long as he hasn't sat down he is fairly easy to clean up, we talk the whole time about where poo goes, why we need to poo in the toilet, that Mommy, Daddy, day care kid 1 & 2 go poo in the potty and then he has to sit for a minute on the potty.
What gets me is that he will hold his pee to go on the potty even if he's pooped in his pants.

My Mom tells me (she did home child care for years) that some children have a real attachment to their BMs and it can take a lot of time for them to come to terms with doing it in the toilet.
Just keep being encouraging, try not to let your frustration show.
As to how I ended up with my 20 month old potty training... he wanted to do what the 3 year old I look after for home day care was doing. Ironically he has surpassed the 3 year old in training and amazed me entirely because I didn't think 20 month old boys ever trained that early. I've been working in child care for 10 years, he is the youngest boy I have ever known to potty train. Girls... I have known (they are rare) some as young as 18 months to be fully trained. It really depends on the child and their comfort level and recognizing their readiness.
Good luck!

Maggie - posted on 06/10/2010

have her sit on the potty at the time she normally poops. Both my sons have a specific time of day when they are "ready to go" so when I was training I'd just make sure they were on the potty whenever that was. The first time is the hardest because they aren't used to it but as soon as she goes and you give her the reward (whatever it may be - The potty song & dance, an M&M, a new toy) she'll be more likely to go in the potty. Keep her near the potty at that time for a few days and after a few days she'll be set.

Lauren - posted on 06/09/2010

Thank you so much Jennifer for sharing your experience with me. I really hope it doesn't take her another 9 months, but the way she's going (or not) it could very well be.

Jennifer - posted on 06/09/2010

I had the same problem. It's a huge control thing. My son took an additional 9 months to learn how to poop willingly in the toilet. It was very frustrating so I feel your pain! He would hide and either poop in his pants or hold it for so long that he constipated himself. Time and patience is the only thing that worked. I would have to watch him like a hawk and if I knew he had to poop then I would put him on the potty and sometimes we would sit there 30 minutes before going. I'd sit with him and read books and sing songs. I keep a reward box filled with special treats and small toys and he can choose something every time he poops in the toilet. That keeps him motivated since he stills fights it sometimes. Good luck!