Time Outs

Therese - posted on 02/24/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My son will be 20 months next month. I haven't tried timeouts just yet. I find when I try to say no he starts screaming and it takes a lot of effort to stop him. He doesn't seem to listen to me all the time so I am not sure even if timeouts would work. Would it be ok to put him into a confined space like his cot for a minute or does that go against the principle of timeouts. I just don't think he would get that he has to sit down for one minute especially if he is in the middle of a major tantrum.

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Time outs are still a struggle for my son (he is almost 3, but we have been doing time outs for about a year). We do not interact with him or say anything when we have to place him back in his spot. He has a hard time sitting. At the begining it was rough. Not too long ago we placed a rug for him to sit on for his timeout-to give clear boundaries of his timeout space. A visual timer seems to help. You can google visual timers. I like the ones with the face clock and the red time counting down.

T - posted on 03/12/2010

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Never use there bed as a punishment. Instead of saying no to him, have you tried to redirect him. I have also heard that saying no often can lower a childs confidence. ???

With my daughter, when she would ask something that would need a NO anwser, I would say Yes, you may have the lollipop after you eat dinner. or Yes, you can play with the toy when you put away that truck.

Sarah - posted on 03/11/2010

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My suggestion would be to place him in a spot where he can't play with any toys and can't watch TV. What I have been doing with my 15 month olds is instead of putting them in a spot and leaving I have been putting them in that spot and sitting by them. I do not allow them to sit on my lap (that is cuddling to me and not what a time-out is for). They must sit there for 1 min. If they are in a tantrum I just pick them up and put them in that spot. I do not interact with them while in time-out (if they get up I will put them back but I DONT say a word). As a child gets closer to 2 yrs of age they should be able to learn to stay in the time-out spot for the time allowed. If they get up you just put them back (WITHOUT interacting) they will get the point. Time does not start (or starts over) if they get up before the 2 mins. are up. I don't try to stop the tantrums. To me if you want to cry and throw yourself on the floor go for it, but you won't get your way and I am not going to pay any attention to you. The tantrums may also lead you into a time-out, so if they would rather do a time-out than play fine with me.

Debra - posted on 03/11/2010

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We've been doing time outs since our son was 13 months as he used to bite, try to get into cupboards and uproot houseplants. At first he didnt take it seriously but now he really seems to understand - we just remove him from whatever the behaviour is - put him in the corner with no toys, or anything and make sure that he can't see us watching him. We watch the clock for a minute and a half and then tell him when he is ready he can come up and give us a hug and say sorry. It has been working really well and he knows that when we say it that we mean it - we also do the counting to three when he is testing us - and usually with the tone of voice and by number 2 he stops doign whatever he shouldnt. We also started offering him choices and he seems to repsond well to that. We ask him if he needs to cry/tantrum it out in time out or if he is ready to choose a better behaviour like a quiet reading a book or something to change his course of behaviour to something more positive. So far so good - of course there are always bad moments or extra challenges when he is overtired or hungry but overall - pretty good. We are really trying not to yell or hit = i hit him once (slapped on the hand) and he did it to me for a week afterwards until we were able to undo it. Anyways long winded but hope this helps. He is almost 21 months.

Erin - posted on 03/11/2010

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I am still trying to get my son to get that time out is a punishment, he thinks it's a game. However, my pediatrition said not to put him in his crib because you don't want them to have a bad accosiation with where they sleep, because they might get confused when you put them to bed that they are in trouble. I try to just hold my son still in the chair for two minutes (my son is two they say it's a minute a year). Anyway, good luck to you.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/08/2010

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My 23 month old loves time out. He watches how his 3 year old sister sits in it and knows when the timer goes off it is time for her to get up after she apologizes. We just started having him sit in time out about a month ago. He sits there until the timer goes off (he can't talk yet so he doesn't say sorry) but gives hugs to me or his dad and then gives one to sissy too (BC he is usually in there for hitting her). I don't know if you have an older child that he could watch while they do time out and maybe he will start to understand the concept. Before we did actual time outs for him when he acted up we put him on the couch with one of us sitting beside him (not holding or touching) and he had to sit there until he calmed down.

Billie Anne - posted on 02/24/2010

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Putting your child in a car seat for time out is so wrong. Pls try other ways

[deleted account]

I don't know if this could, help, our neighbors showed us that using an old carseat (with straps) works to have the child sit still and calm down. it has worked very well with my daughter, the first 3 or 4 were rough but after that shes got the point that she wasn't getting out till her time was up.

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