April - posted on 11/21/2011 ( 23 moms have responded )
Ok, here it is...
I feel like my 2 year old (3 in March) has BAD behavior problems (in my oppinion) but my husband thinks he's just acting the way a 2 year old should act and dismisses all the bad things he does and does not get onto him. Infact, he sometimes laughs at the things he does, right in front of our 2 year old. He will tell him no sometimes but Adam keeps on doing it and my husband eventually gives up or just laughs it off.
I have an 11 year old so I know all too well about the terrible 2's but never had these problems with him at this age as my husband worked 2 jobs back then and I was the one in charge 80% of the time so that might have something to do with it.
Other than the basic problems you would encounter with a 2 year old, he hits, throws things across the room and laughs about it, pitches big fits in stores when I tell him no to something (never thought that would happen to me!) pitches long fits when he doesn't get his way, For example, he will pitch a 3-4 minute fit if another child is playing with something that he wants or if he's throwing a ball in the house and I ask him to stop, he will always throw it again and will continue to do so until I show him I'm angry. Another example is he will ask for juice or something and if we are out I will fix him something else he likes and he will pitch a fit and throw it in the trash or in the floor or something Now as I said, I know some of these things are pretty basic such as sharing, and pitching fits but he takes it to the extreme. Sometimes, but not often, I will smack his hand or bottom just to get the behavior to stop but I always feel like I have made the wrong choice when I use this technique. I told myself that I was not going to spank this time around like I did with my first child as I was a young mother then but on the other hand my oldest son never acted like this.
My discipline techniques have been timeouts since he was about 1 year old and I use the Super Nanny technique which works ok but he screams and cries the whole time he is in the seat and if my husband is home he will often get out of his seat and then my husband interferes with this, he will not stick to it with me and he leaves all the disciplining up to me and will talk e into letting him up cause he thinks I am being mean by making him sit there (which is only 2 minutes)
Not only is this causing bigger problems but I sometimes question myself as to weather I am doing my job right. My husband thinks I expect too much out of our 2 year old, my side of the family uses yelling and spanking techniques so I always feel like the outkast in my family cause I am not that strict and then there are others who always have their oppinions, some tell me it's normal behavior and some say I need to spank him. I really don't want to spank as my primary discipline or at all if I can help it. It just doesn't feel right to me, not saying it's wrong I just don't feel comfortable spanking him, especially at this age.
I guess I'm just looking for some support here or any advice. I feel so confused right now and I feel like I have lost my (mommy) mojo!