toddler masturbation

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Alda - posted on 04/12/2012

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I have 3 1/2 year old twin girls. The one has showed no interest - the other one has been humping and touching herself for years. She humps the stuffing out of her poor bunny every night lol. It's natural and just them learning about their bodies. It's nothing sexual, because they don't know what that means - all they know is that it feels nice.

Shannon - posted on 05/09/2012

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I am so happy to see this, my child started it when she was about 5. At first I was so upset, becuase it was brought to my attention by her teacher. They made me feel like it was so wrong. Her doctor let me know it wasn't something to be concerned about, but I have to say it's still a little hard to comprehend.

Lisa - posted on 04/18/2012

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My 5 yr old daughter goes at like crazy every night lately. She knows it's something to do in private. It seems to help her relax before sleep.

Cassy - posted on 07/24/2012

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Very very normal. My son does this. Not a whole lot any more. But he thought it was funny. Every child goes through this.

Anna - posted on 06/18/2012

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It's not masturbation, it exploration. Toddlers don't do it because they feel sexual pleasure from it, they're just curious about their bodies, which is very healthy. True masturbation doesn't happen until puberty.

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[deleted account]

I think its very normal. I babysit my neighbors little girl who is 6 and she is constantly rubbing down there. She started doing it out in the open and it made me feel awkward so I gave her a blanket to cover up with and told her it would be better to do that in the bathroom or her bedroom. As for kids and orgasms I think they can because I've seen her get all red and flushed while doing it then relaxed and fall asleep.

[deleted account]

I think she (or rather he) removed himself because he was figured out. Scary. I hope people aren't listing their addresses on this site....

Taylor - posted on 07/22/2012

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I think she was banned anyway since if you click on her profile it states she is no longer a member.

[deleted account]

Yes, the person whom originally posted the question is making very odd statements and claiming it's "something to see".... Something not right about it. Otherwise, I understand there might be a tiny feeling, but that is not what she is claiming. Odd.

Taylor - posted on 07/22/2012

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Julie children are capable of the same amount of pleasure since they have the same amount of nerve endings. However kids don't do it for the same reason as we do it's more self exploration and for comfort. This is why young children will do it for a period then cease. It doesn't become a sexual act until puberty kicks in. That being said i agree with you on the fact that some of these posts are pushing the limit of what is normal and a bit freaky.

[deleted account]

Jen- Why would you say they have the same pleasure as adults?!! No, they don't and this is a very dangerous statement to make. Plenty of pervs claim this and you agree??? I should report this statement.

[deleted account]

Well trying to explore is one thing, grinding away like crazy is another. I fear parents are going to have a big problem in the future if they don't at least say "no". Not telling you to make a huge deal of it, but that is a bit bizarre and VERY important it is kept private and not put on display. I have never heard of this before and I'm a bit freaked-out by some of the reactions.

Taylor - posted on 07/21/2012

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Anyway this is quite normal though, And i've been through it with my stepson, though it has become a bit awkward at times.

Fabienne - posted on 06/22/2012

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It is normal. But you can help stopping this by always let him wear underwear and pants! He won't take them of to do it! Only when nude!

Laura - posted on 05/26/2012

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hi Jessica.and Misty,,,,..well,we are a LARGE fam of several kids,on private land ,hot-springs and all ,but since you are in society i certainly UNDERSTAND,,,,,,,,, Now our kids go to church naked,,,,,and to school too......(now before any one keels over::: the church is the forest we live in....and all are home-schooled ).. no problems like that.so far....Now.the kids love to run naked and free in the forest and meadows.....has your child been raised with body shame around judge-mental folks? just asking.....good to teach our kids the beauty of what the Creator has created,rather saddle the child for life with shame and guilt.. you could try seeing if he likes being nude in the home ,might take some pressure off him to feel more free and accepted.....

Now..usually if a child is doing such to excess,it is,many times because of insecurity,say for instance,not being breastfed long enough could contribute to that, perhaps not enough bonding and affection....some how he MAY be repressed,this is just general info and possibilities though... certainly have no way of knowing the particulars..you can always try to get an on-sight mom who can work closely.with you.....in any case.....being patient , loving, and compassionate is gonna help....,,,so....

----------------.peace,happiness, and tranquility ,always,the very best to you!

Misty - posted on 05/17/2012

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i believe it is totally normal.......but at some point we have to explain to them how it is a private thing they shouldn't be ashamed of. I would hate to be the parent of the child that layed on the church floor and did it in public. Kinda makes everyone uncomfortable.

Jessica - posted on 05/16/2012

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My son does this all the time an if I'm honest it completely freaks me out! But i will not suppress him,its his body. But he's started trying to hump peoples legs and its just strange.. has anyone else had this with there little one?

Alda - posted on 05/06/2012

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No, they have no idea what sex or orgasms are, but they do know it feels nice, and that's why they keep doing it. If something feels nice to a child, they'll want more of it. It's human nature, as is exploring your world and your body.

Sara - posted on 05/06/2012

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toddlers don't have orgasms, even if they have the same amount of nerves, they don't know about sex and what an orgasm is!!!

Dana - posted on 05/05/2012

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I don't let my kids do it or do i encourage them. If I walked into a room and my son was touching himself I would tell him to stop. I have 3 boys and its not been a problem yet. My stepdaughter on the other hand is constently touching her self and I find it very disgusting she is almost 7. Her mom might let her but I don't.

Jen - posted on 05/05/2012

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Jenny you are born with the same amount of nerves down there as when you are 40. So i don't understand where you are even getting the idea that the orgasms are less intense.

Sara - posted on 05/04/2012

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about i said they don't have as much pleaseure, well they have a little bit of pleasure like a tickly feeling but because they do not have hormones they do not have intense orgasms and stuff like that, get what i mean?

Sara - posted on 05/04/2012

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i think a toddler is too young, masturbating is a sexual thing, it's normal for teens older kids but maybe not for a toddler! some people say it is normal for toddlers to do it but maybe when they are about 8 years old tell them about everything.

Sara - posted on 05/04/2012

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no, im afraid it is not good for children who are not in puberty, to masturbate. a toddler is very young! it may be that they have an itchy private but they don't even know what masturbating is and how to do it, because they are so young they don't have the pleasure either. so i suggest you see a doctor for a medication. it is important to make sure they do not have bad habits, so if you catch them doing it anywhere, don't be harsh or tell them of but just say " sweety please don't do that" . this is a good way to bring up children without firm language. hope this helped!

Alda - posted on 05/04/2012

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Val, have you tried telling her that there are bad or 'not nice' people, especially men, out there who might want to hurt her if they see her do it, and that's one of the reasons she should only do it in private where nobody's watching? Or tell her that she'll get into trouble if she does it at school - no child likes being in trouble or being bullied. Maybe a teacher could have a word with her. If all else fails maybe suggest she goes to the bathroom in a toilet stall if she gets an itch. I think you should stress that it is not something that should be done in front of other people.

Val - posted on 04/30/2012

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Alda. What do you do when your child (6 years old) has been doing this in school regularly? Even when we've told her that what she is doing is not wrong but she should never do this in public. She continues saying that she gets a tingle and can't help it or she says that she gets bored. The school now thinks we should begin taking her to therapy. The other children are now noticing and one of the girls tells her that she is disgusting. What should we do? Other than this behavior, she is funny, smart, loving, and generally a joy to be around. She has seen her pediatrician and there is nothing physically wrong. We are at a loss for what to do now. We really didn't want to start therapy at 6.

Talia - posted on 04/30/2012

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hey my name is talia i live in Israel and my daughter is 3 years old and she does this as well.
it is completely normal for kids this age to try and explore themselves. up until now they were busy figuring out what was happening around them and now they are discovering there own body. it is important not to tell them that are not allowed to touch here because you don't want them to think that they are doing something wrong or disgusting you want them to have a healthy curiosity about themselves and how things work. what i do is tell my daughter that she can only do it in the privacy of there room

Jessica - posted on 04/29/2012

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Yes, my son has always done this to. It 's there way of getting to now there body in a new way.

Migdalia - posted on 04/22/2012

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When my girls r teenagers I will talk to them about it and I would rather them do this then have intercourse. I just feel like when my baby goes to touch while I'm changing her I should move her hand away n when I do she stops.Today while trying to change her she wanted to put her bear down there but I moved it said no lol.

Alda - posted on 04/20/2012

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Migdalia - I'm a therapist specialising in psychosexual disorders. I'm not saying you should just let your children play with themselves, but neither should you make a huge big deal out of it. A lot of the people who have sexual dysfunction in adulthood are those whose parents made out that touching themselves is 'bad' or 'wrong'. It's fine to just push her hand away, or tell her that it should only be done in private, but please don't make a hug big deal out of it. Besides lol, you know what happens if you tell a child not to do something - they go out of their way to do it :-).

Migdalia - posted on 04/19/2012

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When I change my babygirl she tries to touch herself but I don't let her I move her hand away.I'm sorry but I think your weird if you just sit there and let your kids play with themselves.You should try telling them no don't touch.

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2012

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Yep supper dooper normal for toddlers to do it. My little boy likes to take his undies off and grind on things. I have walked in on him a few times with him standing/grinding on the couch and his penis is sticking straight up into the air lol.

Jen - posted on 04/18/2012

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With my first daughter i wondered a bit when i walked in on her all flushed in the face and going at it. But after a talk with the doctor i found out this was normal and just to pay it no mind. It took some time to get them to realize they needed to do it in private and even then they still slipped from time to time. With my son driving this point home has been harder *no pun intended* as he seems to pick when i leave the room to start so i have to stop him midway to guide him to his room which leads to a tantrum.

Julie - posted on 04/16/2012

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i would say so, my son has permantly got his hand tucked in his pants,BUT if i show my attention to it, he turns it into a game, so i just completely ignore it,,if we are out and about and i see his hand gravitating towards that area,i use the distract his attention elsewhere method.i.e. " oh , look at that doggy,cat,etc,,works everytime .. he / she will learn that its not acceptable through your lack of interest and the mere fact that no-one else around her/him is doing it..RELAX..lol

Merry - posted on 04/16/2012

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Thank you Sam, this is very normal as I posted earlier. All five of my children have done this and I have worked for children, youth and families department for 14 years and this is a very common occurrence. If the mothers are alarmed as posted above then they need to contact their pediatrician like Sam did. No one shows this to a baby or toddler, that too is a rare occurrence, this is a natural thing, it is nothing more than a new toy to them and self discovery the only real time to worry is if they are school age and they use "adult" conversation while doing this. It is up to the parents to teach your child between what is right and wrong and as they get older to teach them about stranger danger and molestation. There is nothing wrong with your infant or toddler it is, as I said before a new thing that they are discovering about themselves and their world!

Sam - posted on 04/16/2012

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my 4 year old does it and I spoke with her doctor and she told us that it was perfectly normal. She just said the biggest thing was not to make a huge deal of it because you don't want to make your child feel like she is doing something wrong. So I just tell her that it is a private thing and if she wants to do it to go in her room. Not a big deal at all!

Ronni - posted on 04/15/2012

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I have never had this happen with my children. I have heard others speak about it, when changing a diaper they would reach down and touch but that was it. I am not certain how I would have handled this type of situation. Society today is so frightening im sure I would have thought someone had touched my child and that is where they learned it.....just sayin'

Charlie - posted on 04/15/2012

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My 3 1/2 year old does this all the time! Its totally normal, they are just exploring their body parts.. No matter how many times I tell him he carries on doing it! Xxx

Heather - posted on 04/15/2012

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No, not totally normal or not. Sounds like someone is molesting him...

Merry - posted on 04/15/2012

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This is very normal all five of my children have done this and when they do that is when I take the opportunity to tell them not to and there is a time and place for that and this is not it. That is when parenting skills come into play. If you don't want them doing it you step up and let them know it is unacceptable. Every parents views are different and it is up to you to take care of it. It is natural for children to this. It is part of their body and they find it and it is merely to them a new toy to play with, nothing sexual because children don't comprehend sex for a while.

Grace - posted on 04/10/2012

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Hey Jen! You're certainly not alone in wondering about this. In fact, in my time with Focus on the Family, I came across a section of their website that discusses this issue in detail. I found it very helpful when my son was little - you might find it helpful as well. You can find the information here: http://bit.ly/HsJrRu. God bless you!

Kay - posted on 04/05/2012

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Completely normal. It's just self exploration. A great time to talk about privacy and personal space, appropriate places for things like that.

Niki - posted on 04/05/2012

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My 18 month old does it at diaper changes. She touches then laughs! Very normal.

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