Very angry two year old!!!!!!! Help please.

Kristen - posted on 04/28/2013

I have no idea how to handle this. My son will be two in May and he is one tantrum-throwing kid. He flips when I tell him no about ANYTHING all the time and today when he started on of his fits, I tried to ask him what was wrong and he threw a shoe at me. Then a pop bottle. Nothing I have ever tried has worked for him. We did just have a baby in February, but he's been acting this was since a bit beforehand. I don't know what to do, and I really need help. He pulls his own hair, (along with anyone elses around), pinches, bites, throws him self down flailing his arms and legs and screaming like someone has just hurt him. I don't know what to do!!!!

Kiana - posted on 11/20/2012

im going through the same thing with my 2 year old he is really angry but im getting it i know i just had a baby almost 2 months ago but he was always like this so i tried to talk to his dad but he dont listen to me he think he ok and then everyone point the finger at me like its the baby and then i get all sad and like im sorry that is that it but its nothing i can do but work with him and see where this goes because he will be going to school soon and i so dont want me baby to be mad because mommy had another baby i love all my kids and would do anything to get him help thats why i am doing just that i tried everything and it seems like its getting worst he throws things and thinks its funny to hit ppl

Charity - posted on 03/07/2012

Im going through the exact same thing with my son only hes anger cause daddy doesnt take him as often as he should so my son is lashing out at me for his daddy's actions and i've tried talking to daddy but theres no possible way of talking to him.. so i've been dealing with it and letting my son know its ok to be angry but talk to mommy .

Amanda - posted on 02/15/2011

My three year old and 2 year old does this. I know it is stressful.Ignoring there behavior does not work, becuse just like holding them down gets them angrier so does ignoring. I try to find out what caused them to throw a fit.It could be just as little as you telling him "no". Or as big as something happening at daycare, feeling left out, or he could be thinking that one of you (dad or mom) is not giving him the attention he wants. This started when I had my 2 yr old, and has just gotten worse. My doctor told me it is a sign of depression. So he told me to take him to counseling. It has worked a little, and he is learning quickly that he dont get what he wants all the time, and once i put him in time out and he sits there silently i dont even look at him. When he is done and calmed down try letting him know that throwing a fit and hurting you hurts him to. Than try asking him what was wrong, If he cant tell you than he might show you.

Ariel - posted on 02/15/2011

Anger is an emotion, not a behavior. It's important to distinguish between the two, and encourage him to express his anger in ways that will not hurt himself (hitting his head on the wall), or anyone else. I also believe it's important to let him know that feeling angry is normal, and that everyone gets that way sometimes. It's hard with young ones whose communication is limited to express themselves, and that leads to a build-up of feelings. Even though your son's words are limited, you can still communicate with him. You might pick a time when he is not feeling so angry but is happily playing, and ask him about his mad feelings and see if you can understand where those feelings are coming from.

Aicha - posted on 02/14/2011

have you tried ignoring the behavior he sounds like my daughter she is doing the same thing she is upset though because she has a new brother so her behavior is her way of saying what happened I don't like being a big sister, What I found works best is ignoring the misbehavior and when she does something good make a big deal out of the positive behaviors

Jenni - posted on 02/14/2011

Usually time outs are only effective until 7 years depending on the child. Then you can do grounding like from the TV or videogames.

Krissy - posted on 02/14/2011

yeah, holding doesn't work. It's tiresome, but all you can do it just continually put him back and walk away... put him back and walk away.. put him back and walk away...

Don't talk to him.. (unless he does something else, like kicks, bites, etc..... then you just VERY firmly say, "DO NOT bite mommy" and put him back and walk away.

I saw a super nanny show where this one mom had to do this with her 9 year old daughter over 20 some times. There were moments mom took a breather, and then went back to the same thing...

Until the child stays, and stays fairly quietly (crying ok, just not hollering and screaming)

Jenni - posted on 02/13/2011

Don't hold him that just turns it into a battle of wills. Imagine if someone was holding you down, you'd fight back right?

What worked with my son is everytime he left time-out i would pick him up without saying a word and place him back in his spot. Sometimes it would take 15 minutes for him to finally stay there but now he stays on his own. For the most part! Think of it as a work out it will keep you from getting frustrated if it takes a long time. Of course every child will be different in the amount of time it takes before they learn to stay there. Don't think of it as a punishment think of it as a cool-down area. You can even give it a fun name like "The Ice Box" where you go to cool down.

After he is calm you can come down to his level and have a discussion with him, make sure you tell him that it's ok to be angry but "We don't throw toys when we're angry". Give him an alternative like using his words when he's mad. He can say "I'm really mad right now mommy!" Give him a hug and have him say sorry for throwing toys.

When he does use his words when he gets angry make sure you praise him for using them and tell him how proud you are of him.

Maybe he was just a late bloomer in the terrible 2s :)

Jade - posted on 02/13/2011

No nothing traumatic or unusual has happened to him. I thought about that as well and after taking a look at what's going on around our home everything is the same as usual. We have tried timeouts and they don't work. You have to hold him where you want him to sit and that in turn just makes him angrier, which does not help. We have brought this up with his doctor and he doesn't seem concerned.

Kim - posted on 02/04/2011

He does sound very angry, especially when you said he wakes up like that. Kids dont know how to tell us when something is bothering them so they tend to act out. I was wondering the same as above, if he has experience any changes recently, or been exposed to something or someone that could be a problem? I would have him evaluated, make sure there is nothing terrible going on with him.
When he is disrespectful, I would do time outs, since he is two, two minutes. Not in his room but in a quiet corner or empty space where there is nothing he can play with. Since you don't know why he is being this way, I don't know if you spank but I wouldn't until you know the cause of his tantrums.

Jenni - posted on 02/03/2011

Has something tramatic or have big changes happened in your lives? A death in the family? An up coming move? A new baby? Anything you can think of? Have you or his father been unusually depressed or stressed out? Children are emotional sponges so If we're stressed out more than usual they will pick up on it.
I get the winter blues bad. My friend who has a 3 year old (my son is 2 1/2) were talking about how our kids have been driving us bonkers lately! We suddenly had no patience for our kids and every little thing they did we were blowing way out of proportion. Of course are children inturn were acting more distructive, agressive and mischievous. As soon as I realized that my winter depression was probably the cause of my son unusual behaviour, I took steps to change my attitude. It was a miracle cure... keeping my son more busy since we are stuck indoors and adopting more positive attitude brought back my sweet little boy.

Jennifer - posted on 02/03/2011

That would definately be something to talk to his doc about